Going from BF to FF - stressing out

[Vicm]

Jacob is only 18 days old but BF is really stressing me out. He feeds well but I just can't settle him properly inbetween especially at night. I'm completely worn out, I don't even have the strength to stand up and wind him sometimes.

Day isn't too bad as we can go for a walk and he settles. At night though he feeds, the literally feeding again within an hour of settling. It is only 2-3 hours but I can't get him to sleep inbetween so I am not getting any sleep myself.

I'm considering going into formula simply so OH can feed him occasionally. At the moment he won't even settle for anyone but me and once I've fed him even if OH takes him so I can rest I'm constantly stressing knowing I won't have long till he needs me again. I'm worried that I can't go anywhere or do anything as if he cries for food it's only me that can give it him.

But I love feeding him, I can't stop crying at the thought of not being able to feed him again. I know if I stop there is no going back and I really don't know what to do.

I tried giving him one or two bottles a day for 3 days and he just threw them back up, what if he's like this all the time if I FF?

It's such a hard decision and I really don't know what to so, I feel like I'm letting him down but I just don't know if I can carry on meeting his demand with BF.

Any advice? Or anyone had simalar issues?

 

[cosmicgirl]

I was just about to say, how do you know that he will behave differently on formula? You'd be gutted if you stopped bf and it was no better.
Why not express and let oh try again with the bottle and see how you go?
Baby is still very young, maybe a growth spurt?
Sorry, I'm not very useful, I hope you can get some rest soon x

 

[Vicm]

I don't know he will behave different, but it means I don't have to give him every single feed. I want to express, which is what I tried first but it's taking me an hour to get enough for one feed by which time he is wanting to feed again so would not have a moment inbetween. It's so hard deciding what to do as I really don't want to stop but feel like I can't spend another day going the way I am

 

[cosmicgirl]

Maybe combi Fred until your supply is such that you can express? x

 

[SpinSugar]

It is a really tough decision to make, however it might be worth just hanging on in there for a little while. We had this at that stage, it was awfull I had no sleep at all. I thought my supply just couldn't keep up! I persevered and made sure I pump every single day and it did make a difference. Now hubby or my mum can give a night feed. I can only pump 50 mls a time though.

It is really difficult but give it a chance. You are doing amazing just by getting this far. Don't forget if you start formula feeding at all your own supply will start to dwindle so the problem will seem worse

Xx

Mummy to my beautiful girl born 9/8/13

 

[knopk@]

Hugs, first 6 weeks are really hard. I felt like giving up many times but i.glad i didnt because its so much easier after the initial bit.
Make your partner do everything else and bathtime etc. He is just building your supply - eat flapjacks, drink plenty and put DVDs on.



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[Mrs N]

I can sympathise as the twins are the same plus they feed at different times so I get no sleep however I should think that he won't settle with a bottle either and tbh it is easier to whip out a boob than sterilise a bottle etc! I would try giving it a little longer and give the occasional bottle when it gets too much, it really does get easier after about 6 weeks!
Xxx

 

[Holi]

Hi vicm, I was in the same situation when my girl was 4 weeks old. It was so hard and exhausting, plus she sometimes would get frustrated during feeds (maybe not getting enough, I don't know)

This along with health visitors ridiculous over worrying about her weight gain made me decide to solely FF from 5 weeks.

I have to admit, the first time you stick that bottle in their mouth it breaks your heart! But seeing how much more settled my little lady is I know I made the right choice, as hard as it was. Luckily she's never suffered with wind or being sick so it was quite an easy transition for us.

Why don't you try solely FF for a couple if days while expressing (to keep your supply up) and see how it goes? If its no better and you change your mind you can go back to BF?

Just remember a happy mummy makes a happy baby - you do what feels right for you both xxxx


Mummy to DD Rosie - Born 22/07/2013 weighing 7lb3oz - Our Royal Princess

 

[cosmicgirl]

If you really do want to bf, I'd stay away from formula personally. I don't think it will help your situation any more do than giving expressed milk in a bottle will and it could be potentially damaging to your supply. Bf is really demanding in the early days but it does get a lot easier, promise x

 

[Vicm]

Thank you all so much for your encouraging replies. I haven't stopped thinking about what to do all day. The fact that I couldn't stop crying at the thought of stopping, combined with the replies I've received, I have decided to try and stick it out. I think I am just seriously over tired. I'm finding it had to 'sleep when baby sleeps' as I find myself focusing on how long I have till he wakes up for feed rather than getting some sleep. I've literally had about 3 hours max a day since he was born. I don't think the fact that he ended up being admitted to hospital at 2 days old for 3 nights helped. He was in incubator on monitors and oxygen so feeding him was really hard.

Anyway, I've expressed a little tonight. I've found a BF support group round the corner I can go to tomorrow. Thanks again for your support, think I would have actually given up today without it x

 

[SpinSugar]

I'm so glad your feeling more positive. You've been through so much already hun, this is just another bump. You will get through!
I survived at 3 weeks by getting my mum to stay one night and giving a bottle of expressed milk. It took 3 days to Express enough but totally worth it for 6h sleep.
Is there anyone thst could do the same for you?

Def find and go to support groups. Talking to others and getting some advice will really help you.

For something so natural, Its bloody hard huh!

Xx

Mummy to my beautiful girl born 9/8/13

 

[knopk@]

I am glad you are feelong better a bit x. Seriously, early days can be very hard. I thought it would never end but my boy is 4,5 months and going strong. Its amazing what our bodies can do but determination is the key. Plus formula is at best partially hydrolised and cows milk protein is hard to digest for babies.
Just a thought, if he reacted badly to formula, maybe eliminate dairy from your diet for a couple of weeks? My eldest had cows milk protein intolerance and threw up formula. Xxx

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[knopk@]

how are you doing hun? x

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[Mrs Wibbily]

Hiya lovey. I'm glad you're feeling better about things. I can honestly put my hand on my heart and tell you that with my first baby I thought I was having a nervous breakdown from tiredness, I'm not over exaggerating either, I actually feared for my mental health it was horrendous...but...it get's so much better and so so so so much easier I promise, it really does.

You need to forget about worrying about waking up, just go to sleep whenever you can.

I've had my second baby and this time has been so much better for me. Hope you're ok xxxxxx