Give Up BF Or Not? **NOT GIVING UP!**

[dannii87]

Monday 6th October

Well, I swapped rooms with my brothers so that I have the bigger room so we can put Evie's cot up. She's sleeping better in her cot. I think that's because she can see everything through the bars. In her moses basket, she can only see the wicker and the ceiling!

Anyway, she seems to be feeding MUCH better now! It's still sore, but I'm not giving her a bottle & I'm not expressing until I need to (ie going out or something).

At the moment, I guess we're at square one. Learning how to latch, getting breastfeeding established again with her "new" tongue etc!!

I think she had nipple confusion for a few days which she's just getting over atm and therefore feeding better.

Thanks for the advice ladies I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I love Evie sooooo much and I feel like we're really bonding a lot over the past couple of days since she's fed better. I don't resent her feeding anymore Bless her!

Thanks again girls xx

Friday 3rd October

Hi girls,

We've had a terrible night... I think I know the reason though, she didn't feed much yesterday and slept LOADS.

Evie had her tongue clipped yesterday and had boob at about 1pm (straight afterwards). She then slept right through til 7pm when she boobie fed again, then slept til 12am for more boob! She woke up at 3am for another feed and has been a complete nightmare since! (She's just started to drift off...)

I tried everything in the night, cuddles, winding, nappy etc... I offered her more boob and she was on & off like a yo-yo ever since. Every hour she'd go on for about 10 minutes and would fuss. It's like nothing would settle her. Cuddles would settle her for a little while, but as soon as I put her back in her moses basket she'd whine again. She doesn't seem keen on her moses basket anymore. Maybe I'm holding her too much?

Now, I'm wondering if it's one of these;
- Nipples confusion because I expressed the last few days.
- Colic.
- Her disliking the moses basket.

She is usually grouchy from about 5am - midday, that's liker her "grumpy time" - So I'm wondering if it could be colic? What do you think?

I'm starting to wonder if I should just give her formula and give up BFing... I don't feel like I'm satisfying her & when I give her formula it has like a knock out effect with her! She just sleeps or settles really well for much longer than BFing... I just can't give up... But I feel like I'm doing wrong by her through pure stubborness

She's awake again
xx xx

 

[NickyB]

With respect to last night, could it be a 4week growth spurt? Aren't they due one about now?

With the tongue release, I wonder if she has to relearn/perfect her technique again.

As for giving up, I reckon you could give it a few more days, you've done everything and tried so hard, and I think you must be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just my 2p, and trying to be encouraging. I reckon I would've given in by now. xx

 

[charlie84]

Yep i agree with Nicky it could be a growth spurt and the fact that she has to learn to latch on again.

A growth spurt will make baby fussy as they seem they arent satisfied but this you have to perservere with and let her suckle as much as she wants. This will stimulate the extra milk she demands.

My LO didnt like the moses basket and i had to ditch it at about 2 weeks, but she likes to spread out and kept hitting her hands off the side, so it was a room issue for her.
You could try warming the moses basket with a hot water bottle or hairdryer before placing her in there. Popping in a top of yours so she can still smell you whilst she is in there can help too.

Also like Nicky said maybe give it a few days see how it goes. As long as Evie is getting plenty of wet nappies she is getting enough milk from you

 

[purple13]

hey hon

i'm so sorry you're having such a rough time

you're not doing the wrong thing by evie in persevering with bf-ing. i think perhaps that last night could be down to her tongue being clipped yesterday? she might just be feeling a bit unsettled after her experience? if she didn't want to settle in her moses basket, perhaps she just wanted to be held? when connor was a newb, he'd sleep on our chests most nights - we didn't have a chance in hell of putting him down; i don't think its possible to hold a baby too much.

see how today goes hon. if i were you, i'd offer her boob as much as possible and keep her in your sling for the rest of the time. being close to you will help her feel settled and will probably send her to sleep too. can you co-sleep with her at nights? it would make those feeds so much easier for you if you can do them lying down and dozing?

formula will have a knockout effect on her because its more difficult for her to digest; boob milk is so easily and quickly absorbed that bf babies feed more often and ergo also tend to sleep less.

FWIW i think you really are doing an amazing job and are an awesome advocate for bf-ing against the odds. i know you don't want to give up, and you've got a lot of support here. i can PM you my number if you ever need someone to chat to?

also, it might be worth you contacting LLL (or your local health authority if they have a bf councillor) and getting someone out to check your latch. see if there's a bf cafe near you, cos they're great for getting real life advice & support.

 

[Squiglet]

Really your not doing wrong by her... Your doing the best that you can do... There's nothing better that you can do, the advantages she has already received from having breast milk are astonishing... The reason she settles longer with formula is because her body and guts cannot absorb the formula...so it just sits in her guts fooling her into thinking that she is full.

She also probably had a rough night because she just had her tongue clipped. I'm pretty sure they must have given her some meds to stop the pain... but they would have worn off in the evening and all of a sudden she's got a sore mouth, but is hungry and now she has to work for her milk because the last few days its been free flowing from a bottle.

She will get over this hump. It will get better. Both you and Evie are having to overcome a lot of discomfort in doing it.

I'd honestly try co sleeping with her to see if that settles her more... Most babies dislike being in moses baskets especially when they are breast fed.. and I found that I would sleep more co sleeping

They all seem to have a grouchy time... even up until 8 months now, lil miss has her grouchy hours when nothing pleases her... its usually to do with her being so tired but not wanting to go to sleep and she has always been like that.

I think you should be ever so proud of yourself for what you have already achieved with Evie. If you do decided that this is all too much (which... even I have had my moments with lol miss and things haven't been so bad for me), then no one cannot deny that you gave it all your worth and energy and thats far more than others have done... and for that alone you should be exceptionally proud of yourself.

 

[beanie]

everyopne has already given fab advice but I just wanted to add my support. Everyone on this thread knows what you are feeling right now, there have been so many times I have thought to myself "its not working, and I want to stop" but the bad times pass - they have to otherwise no-one would keep breastfeeding. And when they do pass it is so easy. Just remember why you have been as stubborn as you have, why you have expressed, and why you have overcome the obstacles you have. Take it day by day, I always used to say "I'll give her formula tomorrow" then the next day I would say "oh just one more feed" etc and before I knew it we made it.

I used to hate night times, they were so lonely and isolated but a mum at the breastfeeding cafe said to me "just think that when you are up, I am up too and I will be thinking of you and you can think of me" and daft as it sounded it worked to know that someone else was going through it. Cally is waking up at night through teething so I'll think of you at 2,3,4am lol.

Massive you are doing amazing chick.

 

[NickyB]

I used to hate night times, they were so lonely and isolated but a mum at the breastfeeding cafe said to me "just think that when you are up, I am up too and I will be thinking of you and you can think of me" and daft as it sounded it worked to know that someone else was going through it. Cally is waking up at night through teething so I'll think of you at 2,3,4am lol.

Aw, that's lovely!

 

[Lindsay]

it's hard work isn't it.

The advice I would give to you is to do what feels right to you. If you do decide to bottle feed then you have nothing to feel guilty about you have tried so hard and have been so determined with breastfeeding, Evie would be very proud of you

You know that I had to stop bf Chloe and it broke my heart. What you are saying could be me posting, we thought Chloe hated her moses basket, she just would not sleep in it so she was in bed with me and DH every night, she was also on the boob all the time. As soon as we put her on formula she slept in the moses basket and was so much more contented - it was certainly the best decision I made.

Xxx

 

[x Naomi x]

Hiya hun, its a hard time you are having right now but you are doing so well! You know recently i beat myself up about putting Macey totally onto formula as i really really wanted to BF, i would give it a little longer until she is settled from having her tongue tie clipped, and then if you decide to change over dont beat yourself up over it, Macey now feeds every 4 hours in the day and we have a 6-7 stretch with her at night now so either way, Evie will be happy as long as you are xx

 

[jills10uk]

it's hard work isn't it.

The advice I would give to you is to do what feels right to you. If you do decide to bottle feed then you have nothing to feel guilty about you have tried so hard and have been so determined with breastfeeding, Evie would be very proud of you

i totally agree with this. if you are happy to continue then i will offer all the encouragement you want and if you decide to change then i'll do the same. you need to make sure your happy, cos Evie just needs a happy mummy whatever way she gets her grub. if the bf is making you unhappy then the cons outweigh the benefits in my opinion.
to whatever you decide.

 

[valentine]

Hi Dannii,

Not sure if I've missed an update from you as I'm just popping on and off at the moment due to visitors. Hows it going?

I would like to encourage you to continue at the moment, while Evie gets over her tongue tie operation and relearns how to feed, keep going for the moment - set yourself small goals and DITCH the formula (for the moment).

If you've really had it, by all means go onto formula, but please remember that its a very hard decision to reverse.

Valentine Xxx

 

[kellysomer]

In my experience it sounds as though she is having to relearn how to feed, she has been coping with it in a compromised way and now that she has full movement in her tongue she will have to learn to re latch. When Isla was 7 days old she had hers cut and fed differently afterwards. Imagine you had your fingers stuck together with a plaster round them, if someone released them it would be weird too.

I think give her a few more days to relearn and if you are still stuck then call the BFing councellors for your hospital or LLL, if that doesnt work , try the formula.

Every time i have a problem i give myself 'one more go' or just 'one more feed' to sort it out and look at my ticker it works and i have had every problem and niggle in the book.

Well done for getting advice though, theres lots of that on here

 

[kellysomer]

In my experience it sounds as though she is having to relearn how to feed, she has been coping with it in a compromised way and now that she has full movement in her tongue she will have to learn to re latch. When Isla was 7 days old she had hers cut and fed differently afterwards. Imagine you had your fingers stuck together with a plaster round them, if someone released them it would be weird too.

I think give her a few more days to relearn and if you are still stuck then call the BFing councellors for your hospital or LLL, if that doesnt work , try the formula.

Every time i have a problem i give myself 'one more go' or just 'one more feed' to sort it out and look at my ticker it works and i have had every problem and niggle in the book.

Well done for getting advice though, theres lots of that on here

 

[dannii87]

Thanks ladies going to update first post. x

 

[NickyB]

Fab news!