Girlfriend just had an ectopic

[CD08]

Hi guys,

Just wanted to get some thoughts and advice from you ladies who have been through this about how to take care of my girlfriend.

I woke up this morning to a text from her saying she was in the hospital and to give her a call, so I tried calling but no reply, finally tracked her down to a ward and when they told me it was gynae and she had just come out of surgery I knew what it was.

Just come back from spending a few hours with her now, she had a ruptured ectopic and I assume a salpingectomy but she is recovering well, no complications, didn't need a transfusion, she looks well but she's very tired and disorientated still. She says it feels like a dream.

We weren't trying for a baby at all and we won't be in the near future, but obviously I don't want this to have impaired her fertility, but from what I can tell from the stats it's likely it will be fine?

I feel absolutely awful myself, like I have done this to her. We both hate condoms so she recently started the pill but on reflection we didn't give t long enough to kick in and luck just wasn't on our side

I was wondering if anyone can give me any advice about how to look after her, other than talk to her which we will certainly do when she's feeling a bit better.

And also I could just do with someone's take on how I should feel because I actually feel very guilty

 

[Kaffee]

Ah poor thing, that's a traumatic experience for her, esp' as you weren't trying so a bit of a shock too. The very fact you've posted this shows how caring you are. Dont feel in any way guilty for it, you weren't to know. All I can suggest is just to do what you can for her, looking after her and letting her talk about it as much or as little as she needs.

Just seeing how my other half was with me after my miscarriage last month made my love for him grow even more , little things like checking I was ok and ringing me after an hour when I'd gone back to work to see if I was ok made me feel better.

Hope she recovers quickly from it. We booked a holiday to have something positive to look forward to, maybe book a hotel for a weekend away in a few weeks time?

 

[CD08]

Ah poor thing, that's a traumatic experience for her, esp' as you weren't trying so a bit of a shock too. The very fact you've posted this shows how caring you are. Dont feel in any way guilty for it, you weren't to know. All I can suggest is just to do what you can for her, looking after her and letting her talk about it as much or as little as she needs.

Just seeing how my other half was with me after my miscarriage last month made my love for him grow even more , little things like checking I was ok and ringing me after an hour when I'd gone back to work to see if I was ok made me feel better.

Hope she recovers quickly from it. We booked a holiday to have something positive to look forward to, maybe book a hotel for a weekend away in a few weeks time?

Hey thanks for the reply.

I feel guilty because we started having sex maybe 2 or 3 days only after she started the pill, we were just too excited to wait as we are usually long distance and were seeing each other for the first time in a while.

On reflection we took a risk and this is what happened. She's less experienced with these things than me so I feel like I should have been the one to say no, let's wait, but instead I just took it for granted that when she told me "she had started the pill" she'd been taking it long enough for it to be effective.

Just the feeling seeing your girl lying there in a hospital bed knowing that if you could go back in time you could have stopped her going through all that... Fills me with guilt

And I'm just unsure whether or not as she gets back on her feet, which is gonna be just a day or two as she's doing really well and the operation went perfect and she didn't bleed much etc., that even though it was unplanned it's going to cause her to feel the same as if it wasn't and feel like she's lost a baby and becomes afraid of sex and pregnancy in the future etc.

I guess the universe punished us the first time we ever didn't do things 100% by the book, I just wish I could have been the one to go through all this in her place My poor babe..