Getting Harry to sleep....help!!

[First Baby White]

Since ditching the dummy a week ago Harry will not go to sleep on his own and when we put him to sleep he can fight by screaming for up to an hour and a half. He used to be so good at putting him self to sleep and we could leave him awake in his cot fine to do this. Once he is asleep he is fine its just getting him to sleep so what can we do, please help!!!!!!!!

 

[mum's the word]

Explain your evening routine in detail with length of time you leave him between checking etc, should be easy enough to sort out if he's self-settled in the past!

 

[First Baby White]

Thanks Hun, Bed time normall goes like this:-

Bottle at 5
Bath at 7
Bottle at 7.30
Bed at 8 or there abouts
We leave in cot for 10 minutes but gets ratty so at this point we pick up and start to rock to sleep and the screaming can last for an hour. He tenses his body and fights with his arms etc so its extremley tiring, he seems to calm down a little when you jump up and down but isnt practical and we would love for him to go down himself again.

This also happens with all his day naps as well he just wont feel asleep without a fight, we dont put him in his cot for his day nap as we are always out and about so its slightly embarrassing when he is screaming like mad in the middle of town etc..

Any help would be massively appreciated

 

[mum's the word]

Thanks Hun, Bed time normall goes like this:-


We leave in cot for 10 minutes but gets ratty so at this point we pick up and start to rock to sleep and the screaming can last for an hour. He tenses his body and fights with his arms etc so its extremley tiring, he seems to calm down a little when you jump up and down but isnt practical and we would love for him to go down himself again.

You're doing everything right except the rocking. Put him down, say goodnight/kiss him whatever and leave the room. Check on him every 10-15 mins without talking/touching/turning on light and gradually increase the length of time you check him, by night 3 I didn't have to check at all. Night 1 will be the worst until he starts to self-settle with less crying before hand (be prepared for no sleep at all!).
Well done on ditching the dummy-this was a good move, he will find his own way of settling if left alone which seems cruel but doesn't take long (we cracked it in 3 nights)
You will soon get to know a different type of cry as he's slowly settling, it will get quieter and there will be bigger gaps between outbursts of emotion. The arching of the back and screaming he's doing at mo is often a sign of extreme tiredness and wanting to get to sleep rather than fighting sleep (according to one theory-I know many will disagree)
If you'd rather not let him cry you could try the 'pick up, put down' method (let me know if you want more info) this method takes longer but some mum's find it less upsetting for them!



p.s I would (if you can stay in at dinner time for a couple of days at least) put him down for at least one nap during the day in his cot-this really helps. I had to do it as Ricky would scream when we were out non stop if he was tired. Wish I could say he doesn't scream now but he just HATES being in the buggy tired or not!

 

[sarah2807]

Awww..I know how you feel hun...violet is the same. She still has a dummy tho I am trying to wean her off it at night as she's better at night than during the day. No advice relly just sympathy cos I have a cat napping sleep fighter and know how much hard work it can be sometimes!!

Hope you get some good advice cos i'd be interested to see if any of it helps me too.

 

[Sherlock]

Hmmmmm

I'd be inclined to get a mobile that plays some soothing music, give him a muslin to cuddle while he goes off to sleep and take the softly softly approach.

I"d feed a bit later and let him start to relax while having his bottle. Put the mobile on, dim the lights right down and make sure its very calming. No talking, no real eye contact, just peaceful. I never feed Galen then put him to bed with a gap inbetween. I feed and then pop straight into bed, often he is more or less sleeping when he goes over to his cot, sometimes wide awake but he is calm and settled.

When he's had the bottle I'd cuddle him for a minute or two then gently transfer him to his basket/cot and keep some skin on skin contact for a bit. Place your hand on his head, stroke it gently but look away and don't speak. Have it almost dark. If he is calm then leave the mobile playing and the muslin in his hands and gently move away and out of the room. I'd lurk quietly outside and see what happens. Don't rush back in the moment he fusses, but listen to what kind of cry he makes. If its one that lessens he should be going off to sleep. If he sounds more agitated then go back in, keep it dark, more skin on skin, but don't pick him up and don't make eye contact or talk loudly. Soothe him for a while and then leave again. Repeat as needed.

I did this sort of thing with Galen and it worked for us. I always remove the muslin once he is asleep and if he stirs in the night I simply drop it into his hands and he settles with it again. Otherwise he loses it in his cot and I have to fumble around in the dark for it I at least know where it is (on my bedside table) and can put my hand straight on it.