Getting cold feet

[Heatherb]

Hi everyone,

this was a very unplanned pregnancy, and when the baby is born we will have 4 children under the age of 5 (dd only turned 4 this july).

I have always wanted 4 children, but I think it was really just one of those pie in the sky dreams and deep down it wasn't really a good idea.

I am now beginning to really think about how this baby is going to affect our lives. It is going to be so hard. Apart from the fact that our parents are going to find it very difficult to come to terms with, I am going to have friends and acquaintances at school/pre-school who I am sure will look at me as if I am mad.

This, I know, is all psychological, but then we get to the fact that I will have 4 children under 5 years old. This is going to be really hard. I already have 3 under 5 and it is hard work as it is. How on earth am I going to cope with a little baby plus the 3 I already have??

It's starting to get me down now. I am only 8 weeks, and sometimes I think to myself, well perhaps it's all a mistake, but then morning sickness, lack of af, 2 positive pg test (one just last week), and a starting to show bump, all really tell me that there is no getting away from the fact.

My OH is being wonderful and telling me that we will just ignore anyone that thinks badly about it, but that will just make it worse as I will need as many friends/family as I can get.

Sorry for the moan, no-one else to talk to at the moment.

Heather x

 

[mum2be?]

Hi

Who cares what other people think, Yes it may be hard but as long as you want this child and will love it and give it all it needs i see no problems.

Good Luck and dont stree too much

 

[sarah113]

hiya hun

im in the same situation as you, i also will have 4 children under 5, my oldest will be 3 next month, i am so scared as to how i will cope but im sure we will both be fine, im here by myself with the kids most of the day as oh does all different shifts, if you need to talk hun pm me.
talk soon
sarahxxx

me-23
oh-23

 

[Emma22]

hi heather
personally i think as long as you are happy then it doesnt matter what other people think, its what you and OH want and think that counts. Who cares if people think you are mad. Im expecting my first so I have no idea how things will be when the baby arrives but surely you learn to cope, like you have learned to cope with the 3 you already have? you adapt your lifestyle to suit your needs if thats the correct saying?
i think everyone goes through the stage of worry about how they will cope and it probably isnt helping you that at the back of your mind you are worried how your family will react let alone other people, your family should stick by you no matter what. x

 

[Amanda]

Sod what anyone else thinks hun. It's your choice.

I'm 36, and my daughter is 13. When I told people that we were trying for a baby, they looked at us as if we were mad. Especially people who had children Kayleigh's age. I kept getting the 'but you're only just getting your life back' comment. What the hell is that supposed to mean?? Yes, I wasn't running round after a LO, but it was hard in different ways having a teenager.

Now we have Charlie, I could not be happier. It feels so wonderful being a mum again.

Enjoy your pregnancy hun, and forget everyone else.

And we are trying for another already, but keep that quiet because we've not told anyone yet!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

I agree with all of the above, as long as your happy hun!
Who cares what others think! Probably would be jealous of all your beautiful children!

 

[Cat&Noah]

Like the others say it really doesnt matter what others think.
I know a little of how you feel though. Even though this PG was planned, I have been thinking all the way through 'what the hell am I doing, Im happy as we are, how will I cope etc etc. Its only now Im starting to feel positive about it all again. Its so daunting even if you have been through it before. But it sounds like you have a supportive partner and your family and friends are there too.

I hope all goes well for you hun.

 

[andreag]

Hiya
I'm one of 4 (with the last three all being close together) and people used to think my Mum was mad, but I though it was great and am planning 4 myself (fingers crossed). The closer together the better in my opinion. I was never short of someone to play with or go out with and we were much better at keeping ourselves amused.
I'm sure it was hard work, but you are already coping with 3. Forget other people opinions and enjoy your pregnancy.
A

 

[Peanut]

the four of them will be so close and have each other as contemporaries and mates, so I think you're doing a agreat thing for your children. I'm sure everyone will be thrilled, and it's just your hormones playing silly buggers.

oooh tankett you little monkey!!! How exciting!

 

[Icecream]

Hi. this might sound weird, but with 14 children and 5 close together at one stage, my OH has at least some idea what he's talking about. He said to me some time ago that 2 children are hard work, 3 are even harder, but once you get passed that it's easy. Don't ask me how. I'm hoping to find out the hard way.

 

[xSuzx]

Hi there,

My advise is don't worry what other people think just look after you and your little ones, which I'm sure you do a great job of already.

the way I would think about it is although it will be hard at first it will get easier after a couple of months, your eldest will be about 5 so will she be at school next sept at least part time right? so for aleast part of the day you will still only have 3 little ones at home at that time, also you second will be about 4 and your now yongest over 2.

Also you might find it helpful to get the eldest 2 involved as much as poss I'm sure your daughter will love helping with her little brother or sister.

I would also voice my concerns with the midwife and ask if there is anysort of help you might beable to get once the baby is born.

I'm sure you'll do really well and surprise yourself.

xSuzx

 

[Heatherb]

Thank you all so much for your replies. I feel like a bit of a weight has lifted, and you have all given me quite a lot of hope now.

I am really really looking forward to having this baby, it's just the baggage that comes with it (ie the hassle from friends/family).

Xsuzx, my little girl started school this september, and my ds1 will be going to school full time next september, so when next september comes I will in fact only have the 2 little ones to look after. But before that, I will have the 6 week holidays when I will have all 4 of them. Hopefully the weather will be kind and they can all play in the garden.

Thank you all again. I am so glad that I have you all to vent my feelings at.

to you all.

Heather x

 

[xSuzx]

I know what you mean about the six week hols

I felt like that this year when I had my daughter in june although I just have 3 but my eldest (ethan 6) is a handfull as he had a understanding problem and is hypo lol, But strangly enough it wasn't too bad they played outside quite abit and because I involved them through my pregnancy ( with the help of a good pregnancy book) they were very helpfull and loved doing stuff for their little sister.

xSuzx