fussy bf'er - thinking about giving up

[badgergirl]

I posted a couple of weeks ago about how Sprog was being a pain when feeding - 5-10 mins max, then thrashing and screaming. I got some fabulous advice, and we worked through it. He put on 12 ounces last week, and I've never been happier.

I did get diagnosed as anaemic, though, which may have affected my milk supply. I'm taking iron for it, and I think that's helping too.

Yesterday, Sprog had appalling colic all day and ended up screaming, sobbing, etc. He hardly fed and hardly slept. Today we're back to him pulling off my nipple and screaming. Each time he does this I wind him, and he's fine...until I suggest to him that I'm going to offer him my nipple again.

I'm as close to giving up as I've ever been. I don't see an end to our sleepless nights when he's like this because I can't see that he's getting enough calories when he's feeding so little to get him through the night - he's up every 2 hours at the moment. And I know that's great compared to what some of you are going through - but he was a good sleeper up until 4/5 weeks ago - he used to go for 5/6 hours. I've spent the afternoon so far fighting with him, and in tears.

In the end, I rang the health visitor. She's told me he's probably teething, and his gums are too sore to suck - basing it on that he sucks his hands and he dribbles. I just can't see this as "right" - though I'll happily apologise if a tooth suddenly sprouts. I thought he dribbled because babies do, because he was experimenting a lot with his noises, tongue and his raspberries. I thought he sucked his hands for comfort.

I just feel that I'm not getting any support in the "real world" to continue feeding. I'm desperate to continue, but I'm not sure that working either of us up so much is going to help. And so much of his fantasticness - how vocal he is, his lovely smile - is getting overcast by the fact I'm so worried about feeding. And I don't know what to do.

 

[purple13]

you've done soooo well getting this far. 12 oz in one week is awesome weight gain and you should be very proud.

i'm so sorry that you aren't getting more support from people in the 'real world' is there a breastfeeding support group near you that you could go to??

if its colic that's causing the screaming, there's no promises that it'll get better with formula i think it just feels more personal when they're screaming at your boob though

can you sleep when he's feeding at night? or does he fuss too much then too? connor feeds at 2.30am, 4.30am and 6.30am and if i didn't co-sleep and let him feed whilst i doze, i think i would have gone insane by now. lack of sleep is a real killer.

it does sound like teething could also be a possibility - connor sucks & dribbles a lot (has done for about 2 months) and his first little peg finally came through last week. you could try some baby bonjela/ashton & parsons powder and see if that helps him settle a bit?

i'll post again if i can think of any other suggestions... it must be really hard for you when you're anaemic oo, just another thought - try fenugreek, fennel tea and/or blackthorn juice to boost your supply if you think you might be running low

 

[DebbieM]

Hiya,

Luke sucks his hands and can dribble for England and has done for weeks and weeks now. As far as I can tell, he isn't teething and doesn't seem to be in any pain from his gums/mouth whatsoever.

It might just be a phase. Luke has gone through this numerous times and it has been really stressful. I think that if I had given up every time I would have given up about 347 times by now LOL.

Try and stick with it. His weight gain last week was amazing so you are doing well and he is obviously getting exactly what he needs!

You do need to do what's best for you though. These phases do get better xxxxxx

 

[charlie84]

Oh hun have some

Your not alone hun with a fussy baby. Calleigh has recently started to wake during the night for feeds when she used to go through the night.
And during the day she will have a quicky feed then pull off and decide she doesnt want anymore by screaming when i offer her more.
Calleigh is also too interested in whats going on around her so feeding is not always top of my nosy madams priority
She feeds much better in the evening and throughout the night.

He could be teething hun, which i have found lately that Calleigh occasionally likes to clamp down on me using me as a teether Your LO seems to be showing signs of teething.
He could maybe frustrated with your flow. I have found Calleigh to get frustrated and pull off before i have my let down then a little happier when the milk flows.

From one breastfeeder to another i advise you to try and perservere with the breastfeeding hun, whos to say he wont be fussy on the bottle.
Its so incrediblely hard at times, and i am sure others will agree. But i think it is so worth it.
Also hun have you tried talking to Breastfeeding advisors or the Le Leche League, they may be able to offer more advice for you.

 

[clarey]

The lack of 'real' support is shocking I think for breastfeeding mums, considering the pressure the midwives all put on you to do it in the first place, but please dont give up, I too would have done many times but I just kept saying, one more, one more and then the fussy phase would be over and I would get my confidence back before the next bout of silliness. HVs are so quick to blame teething or the need to wean for virtually everything, but it sounds like you are doing a fab job, 12 oz is brilliant! It doesnt sound like you need to worry he isnt getting enough but it is stressful I know.

 

[loz]

Have you tried expressing a bottle for the evenings? Might help a bit. Even if you find it a bit difficult to BF some of the time, you can still carry on some of the day. You dont have to give up completely. The weight gain seems brilliant, he might just be having a bad week? Emms had that about 3 weeks ago and I was seriously tempted to add in some formula but didnt in the end.

Do what you think will be best for both of you. If he gets some breast milk that is better than none.

 

[sarah2807]

hi hun, i have just gone thro exactly the same thing and posted a few days ago with a similar thread. she is still fussy but has calmed down a lot over the last couple of days. i think it was maybe a growth spurt cos at the time she started feeding more too. my lo is gaining weight well like yours, i think that's what kept me going. it felt like she wasn't getting fed when she was screaming and thraahing around, but i knew deep down she was cos she was putting weight on. every time she does it i take her off the boob and calm her down then leave it a few mins before trying again, or sometimes i swap her to he other side..sometimes it work.
hope it calms down soon.