Funeral advice please.

[NIE]

My hubby's cousin has passed away and I am unsure whether or not to go to his funeral.

I hate funerals but always make an effort to go.

I only have 5 weeks left and I am feeling so uncomfortable and finding walking difficult. I have nothing suitable to wear, it's about an hours drive away and I will probably end up being a taxi for relatives that are unable to drive.

If I'm honest I would rather not go but I am feeling pressured into going as the family keep going on about how my hubby and I are the only ones left to carry on the family name, so I feel obliged to go.

Hubby wasn't at all close to his cousin, in fact he wouldn't recognise him, and said that he is not going alone.

What should I do? xxx

 

[emma28]

If it were me I would just go, but then I'm soft and always give in to family stuff. I think it's easier in the long run, saves all the snide remarks later about why you didn't go.

 

[Sherlock]

I'd be inclined to go also as it would probably save lots of family tension in the future. But it depends on the family and how you think they might all react. Some are not as forgiving as others. And also how you would cope if things got awkward because of not going. Do you need possible long term stress and worry over this for the sake of a few hours now?

You could always make it a short visit, attend the funeral and then if there is something to attend afterwards, make it a short visit and plead tiredness etc due to baby bump and make your excuses and leave. I think your hubby could back you up on that and not mind too much.

And don't become a taxi service for anyone this time. You have a good enough reason to refuse to drive other people this time. If they expect you to thats taking the piss. You want to be able to come home sooner and not have to wait around for them. Your health is more important at this time. Stick to your guns on that. And make that understood with hubby beforehand so he knows also. If you and he are in agreement it'd be good.

Or your hubby really could get sorted and go alone and give your apologies and explain you are due in a couple of weeks and really are not able to get about so much etc right now. I am sure people would be understanding in that case and at least happy he made an appearance.

 

[NIE]

Well as expected, the family have arranged for us to take 2 other relatives.

I'm not happy. I can't leave when I want to and what if I start to feel ill.

My hubby and I made the decision to attend the funeral but not the tea afterwards. After all it's the actual service that is the important part.

We have made it quite clear that we will be going on our own and will meet everyone at the church as 1 hour is too long for me to sit in a car without a streatch or a toilet stop.

As you can guess, this has not went down well. Hubby is so angry at his family as they are the ones that keep going on about how we are the only ones left to carry the family name on, and yet they are not thinking things through.

Looks like we might have a difficult few hours ahead.

Wish me luck. xxx

 

[Sherlock]

Aww hang in there

I think it sounds like you have your hubby's support on this so I'm sure it'll be fine.

Really, I think what you have decided on is a good course of action for all concerned so stick to it. The other family members can make other arrangements to go to the funeral and the tea I am sure.