found baby book.

[nds]

moving out in a couple of weeks so i'm boxing what i can up - starting with ella's room as obviously we won't be using any of it - lost my girl after labour at 40+2, she was just eight hours old.

as i'm boxing up i'm already in tears, even though were moving and it's needed i still feel guilty for putting all her things into a box.

we have all her memories in her cot at the moment photos and footprints etc all laid out so that set me off more.

then i find her baby book, we filled in most of 'before you were born' and didn't even get to 'welcome'. came across this section and now i'm full on bawling, snotty, almost being sick, the whole works. the daddy bit just made my heart break.

just needed to get that written down really. i miss my girl so much but i'm not regularly emotional about it, i think i've been a strong one about it but looks like i'm having a bad day!

 

[laurat]

Oh honey!!!! Xxxxx

 

[linxminx21]

im sorry your having a bad day... I have no words to comfort you and I know if I tried it wouldn't even touch the surface! im sending you lots of love and hugs hunny and I hope after a good cry you can carry on doing the necessary packing x x

don't feel weak or any worse of a person for crying... everyone needs to cry sometime!

 

[nds]

i managed to pull myself together thankyou! was just emotional and needed to get it out. thankyou xxx

 

[charli_]

i did the same thing, got past my first trimester and thought, like a naive woman, that everything would go well so i filled out some of the baby book, now all i can think is that i will never fill the rest of the pages in this beautiful book. ive hidden the book away, but i know at some point i will find it again.

 

[nds]

i'm sorry charli
that's exactly the same as what i did. it just shows anything can happen at any point. i'm not suprised you have hidden it away, it's not something i would intentionally go looking for xxx

 

[charli_]

maybe one day when i get my baby ill be brave enough to look through it!

 

[nds]

i hope so
have you read the airport story charli? theyre still waiting for their flight over. take care x

 

[Corrinne37]

thats so sad, have tears in my eyes for you.

you know i was the opposite, i feared my whole pregnancy that something would go wrong at the birth and i d never bring my baby home, i really could not get it out of my head, was quite an issue for me that i couldnt really talk about.
but luckily for me it never came true, it was just my stupid head, and i did bring her home.

I guess thats why it makes me feel so emotional reading your story, i imagined it in my head so many times.

i think it is a good sign that you are crying, get it all out, it has to come out at some time, and maybe cos you are moving - moving on , moving forward , it s all very positive i think.
a quote i once read
' sometimes when things are falling apart, they areactually falling into place'

love and hugs, xxx

 

[charli_]

i have read it. made me cry like mad!

 

[nds]

thankyou. that's lovely. she was obviously too special to stay here, as much as i wanted her to, and she had to go somewhere else.

now i fear i'll never enjoy a pregnancy again. i hope they are falling into place, and that this baby i'm currently PG with will be my rainbow baby and will be here for keeps. fingers crossed as i really don't think i could go through anything like that again xx

 

[nds]

i have read it. made me cry like mad!

i definitely welled up at it. it's beautiful, sad as obviously we can relate but it's sort of a nice (not the right word) way to think about it. more positive not "nice" x

 

[Corrinne37]

thankyou. that's lovely. she was obviously too special to stay here, as much as i wanted her to, and she had to go somewhere else.

now i fear i'll never enjoy a pregnancy again. i hope they are falling into place, and that this baby i'm currently PG with will be my rainbow baby and will be here for keeps. fingers crossed as i really don't think i could go through anything like that again xx

congratulations you are pregnant ! thats wonderful. def all good then.
lightening doesnt stike twice xx

 

[nds]

i hope not! xx

 

[megsmeadow]

Oh nds, moving is stressful enough. Have you got somewhere special to keep all those special things in your new place? I've made a keepsake book for Oirrinn, just like my mum had made when my ds was born. I've had to hide it away as my oh isn't ready to see all those things again.

 

[nds]

aw it is difficult though.

i'm sure we will find somewhere appropriate to have them yes even if we tuck them away somewhere i know theyre there for me to pull out at any point x

 

[charli_]

awww congratulations! I'm so happy for you, I've got fingers and toes crossed that everything goes well for you!

 

[nds]

awww congratulations! I'm so happy for you, I've got fingers and toes crossed that everything goes well for you!

thankyou so much xx