Just had a SERIOUS chat with husband dearest - where I basically spelled out that, despite his soapbox moments of telling me just how much he was bending over backwards to support me, he was, in fact, doing most things to please himself.
It transpires, as I suspected, that he is actually more upset about the whole situation than he lets on and is dealing with it in the best (and probably most unfortunate) way he knows how which is to spend time on his own and throw himself into his work. He feels that nobody is really asking him how he is coping and doesn't have a lot of support locally.
I have made it quite clear to him that he can't keep saying on the one hand 'I'm a closed book, I don't like sharing my emotions' but then complain that nobody realises he is upset or that he even gives a damn (which half the time it comes across that he doesn't). I also pointed out that when all you hear from a person is 'oh well we'll have another one' - you can't be expected to realise that they are internally saying 'but I won't ever forget this one and actually I'm really sad'.
I have no issue with the fact that he needs to deal with things in his own way (although obviously would prefer that his way of dealing with it was cuddling up at home with me and having a nice long chat) - what I have an issue with is him yelling that he's doing everything possible to support me, and then blatantly doing the opposite because it suits him. Now he admits that he needs to be at work in order to work through it himself I can deal with being left alone a little better.
I have also pointed out to him, and he now admits, that he often puts work above family and that if we are going to have children he is going to have to change this balance because family should ALWAYS come first.
Thanks all for your support girls - I have cried til I was almost sick this evening and my head is pounding but I guess it's all part of the healing process and at least we both know where we stand now.
He wont feel what you feel babes but if he doesnt try to understand a bit more you will end up really angry towards him. I dont know what you can do to make him understand how you're feeling, I think men just react differently towards things than we do 
Oh my dear Lord. 
) starting as you mean to go on is very good and getting him to open up is really important - you will make such lovely parents! Also most (not all) men struggle to understand how emotionally attached we become to "our babies" from the minute we get the positive result - our bodies and mind kick in in a way they simply struggle to comprehend which explains why he can't compare your baby to your dog. I hope you're feeling better today and remember this is a trauma and it will take time to get over and you will have good days and bad days. I hope I haven't gone on too much! 
