following on from "my dads side of the family" thr

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by leckershell, Jan 7, 2008.

?

Would you visit?

  1. Yes

  2. No

  3. other... (if there is an other to yes or no?? - LOL)

Multiple votes are allowed.
Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. leckershell

    leckershell Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2006
    Messages:
    6,947
    Likes Received:
    0
    We are hoping to do a Sun holiday to South Devon this year. May still change our minds but if we do go to South Devon......








    The afore mentioned gradparents live in Torquay, and if we were going anywhere near, they would want to see us at least to say hello and meet Nat and Ryan.

    It's unlikely I would ever otherwise be down that way... and they wouldn't be nasty to my face (they would be snidy and call my dad the second we left to complain -something probably like that my purfume interrupted the smell of their lunch, and Nat's beard was 1mm too long and looked ruffian not smart). There's a high chance my Grandma will be the next family funeral as she's got some sort of skin cancer (as far as I understand it).

    Would you visit/have lunch or dinner with them?

    I think I might, for the sake of them meeting Ryan and Nat and seeing how well we are doing without them and their University+Wealth lifestyle. Also because Grandma won't last much longer I feel it's only right to.

    Or do you think I shouldn't?

    I know I don't like them and in usual circumstances I wouldn't bother going out of my way to see them or contact them... but would being in their town make it really rude to not see them?

    I know it's my choice, and I'm verging on yes at the moment, but what would you do if you were me? I feel like it would be the right thing to do but at the same time don't want to ruin a lovely family holiday if it all goes boobs up...
     
  2. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2005
    Messages:
    5,570
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know you are verging on the yes and are probably of a more forgiving nature but people like these I just cannot waste my time with. Life is too short to be around and visiting people who cant be nice back to you.

    Sure, they would be lovely to your face but if the smell of ones perfume would ruin their lunch then I wouldnt bother.

    Sorry, Im a stubborn goat.
     
  3. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    6,817
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'd say yes, life too short and it would only be you left feeling guilty (i'm assuming you may feel a bit of this from you even considering to visit) once you've visited you can get on with a fab holiday. Don't worry what they say afterwards. Its quite obvious from all your posts your a lovely sweet caring person :hug:
     
  4. sam96031

    sam96031 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    2,423
    Likes Received:
    0
    im inclined to agree with Sweetcheeks24 id go see them and then forget about them for the rest of your holiday or you could ask them if they want you to call in and if they say no then you dont need to feel guilty :hug:
     
  5. NickyB

    NickyB Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2007
    Messages:
    2,072
    Likes Received:
    0
    It depends how you feel about where to draw the line. If this is your idea of their 'last chance' then yes, I think you should go. If you don't think they appreciate it, or upset you for any reason, then at least you tried.

    I've got some problems with my mum, and that was the approach I took when I got married. And I was pleased I made the effort because I could never take back not inviting her. I hope that makes sense.
     
  6. Squiglet

    Squiglet Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2007
    Messages:
    8,899
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'd say no... personally...

    But having been in exactly the same position (my Granny lives in Southampton, and we went to visit friends in Andover up the road) my mum MADE me promise that I would at least go and say hello to her.. As life was "too short"... and plus we thought she was on her last legs but that was two years ago :roll:

    I grumbled and capitulated and went to see her... but all it did was remind me how much she doesn't consider us an important part of her family... she had no pictures of me or my daughter on the wall, just of my half sister/cousins/aunts/uncles.. everyone else basically...

    But at least she couldn't say I didn't bother. :roll:

    Go see them... have your time with them, cup of tea.. be civil... so that in the future you can say well I did come and see you... Its would just be for an hour or so... so it wouldn't ruin your holiday... it didn't ruin mine.. just reminded me why I don't get on with them... felt vilifying tbh.. :)
     
  7. Sammystar

    Sammystar Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2007
    Messages:
    2,877
    Likes Received:
    0
    yes, but only becasue I get the strong feeling that it's what you want to do, deep down.

    If that's the case, do it for you, not for them.

    :hug: :hug:
     
  8. Tangerinedream

    Tangerinedream Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2007
    Messages:
    6,378
    Likes Received:
    0
    I said yes. If it was me I would do it for my own piece of mind so that I could be confident that if their behaviour/attitude continued I would know I tried to reach out to them to build a relationship. Im very pig-headed like that though. Whats 2 or 3 hours of akwardness at the end of the day?
     
  9. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    13,599
    Likes Received:
    0
    i'd say go, JUST SO they cant throw it at u "well, u stayed near us and didnt visit" etc.
     
  10. Slinky Sarah

    Slinky Sarah Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    0
    id go...only to rub it in their faces that you are doing great without them like you said. Will show them that you are happy and ryan is doing well....and if she phones your dad straight away complaining then you know where you stand and dont have to do it agian. Obviously if you werent going then i wouldnt bother going out of my way to see them cos they sound spiteful and horrible (sorry lol).
    Good luck what ever you do hun!!!
     
  11. HappyAlice

    HappyAlice Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,230
    Likes Received:
    0
    i agree with Sarah, just go along and show them how happy you are, it doesn't matter what they think. I bet you'll be glad you did it :)
     
  12. mamichuli

    mamichuli Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1,674
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would go, but that is because I am the sort of person that if I didn't, I would feel bad. It is a very personal decision, but if you decide to go, its best to have no expectations, just go, visit and when you leave, forget aaaaaaaaaaall about it and go and enjoy the rest of your holiday!

    :hug:

    Lisa
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice