Finding out the sex

[HappifeetJo]

Hi ladies,
Hope you are all good.
I am currently 16 weeks and have just got the date for my 20 week scan... its the day after my Birthday which is lovely!
After chatting with some friends of mine this evening, (some who are also expecting and a couple that have little one's) the big question was whether I am going to find out the sex of the baby... My partner and I have decided not to, I didn't mind either way but he really wants it to be a surprise so I'm happy to go along with that. Plus the hospital I'm with don't tell you so we'd have to pay for a private scan to find out. My friends were really shocked and kind of eyed each other as I said this, they "cannot believe" I am able to wait and said how am I going to plan the nursery, buy things etc if I don't know the sex. This kinda left me feeling a bit uncomfortable... surely I'm not the only one who wants to wait and have the surprise??
Is there anyone else who is not finding out? And those of you who have chosen to - do you get why some people choose to wait?
I completely get why you'd want to know as it's such an exciting time.
I felt it was a real shame that people close to me didn't get it...
Xxxx

 

[erimela]

One thing I have learnt during this pregnancy, is that EVERYONE has an opinion and strongly believe their opinion is the only right opinion.

At the end of the day, this is YOUR & your OH pregnancy. The decision has to be yours and his alone. Do what is right for you and him. You aren't the only person who chooses to wait.

As for the clothes, there is alot of white and yellow

Do what your need to do and your friends will come around

 

[tinytoes]

People are so rude ! We are not finding out , we didn't last time either and it made it all the more special for us . I find my friends and family are so rude about it , saying I'll never have the right clothes ..such waffle . They also keep at me to find out so they will know if they can dump their old baby gear on me , my cousin went so far as to suggest I get the sobographer to write it down so my family could know and I wouldn't have to ! Stick to your guns hun it's nobodies decision but yours and at the end of the day all tat matters is that your baby Is healthy . Just keep telling them it's going to be one or the other and that's it

 

[Kay1987]

I never found out with my son but i did this pregnancy, and as happy as i am that i know im having another boy, its practical and convenient 2 know but thats it! if we ever have anymore we will wait and have the surprise again, i think its kinda taken some of the excitement away, which in my opinion is much nicer than being able to buy blue/pink clothes!! x

 

[Constantstar]

I always said I would wait and not find out but now I'm preg I want to know!! A) cause I'm curious and b) I can start getting things in suitable colours etc rather than lemons and whites etc xx

 

[Tracey M]

Im not gonna find out!! Im like you, I can take it or leave it but oh Dont want to know so Im happy with that. Never did last time either but was not offered at hospital anyway. I Dont get many surprises in life....Im waiting till he/she pops out!! I personally Dont like baby colours pink, blue, yellow or mint lol....i like bright colours and beige, creams, white so shopping is easy for me....

 

[spice]

i personaly dont mind if we find out the sex or not, our scan is in just over two weeks . . . my OH and myself have decided that if they can tell us we will, but if not, thats not a problem my OH would like to find out so we can forward plan, but unlike most people we're not to bothered with buying blue/pink clothes anyway, we will buy what we like, no matter the gender prefrence of the items! i personaly would like to wait, but as we are having two extra scans anyway its likely that if we dont find out at the 20 week scan they may let it slip at either of the other two!
its your decision in the end, youve made it, and if your family/friends dont appricate it then thats their problem! tell them to get creative with things for the baby!!! good luck xxx

 

[Franna75]

I'm still five weeks away from my 20 week scan and my mind could change between now and then, but at the moment i'm not going to find out either. As Tracey M said - I don't get many surprises in life...x

 

[Alexandra84]

Sorry to poke my nose in from 1st Tri but I agree with spice, what's the big deal with the clothes? You don't have to dress girls in pink and boys in blue and it's not like the babies really care about whether it says boy or girl on the front . We're not planning on finding out the sex (if I get that far) and I'll just buy whatever I like the look of, boy or girl stuff and whichever I end up having, that's what they'll wear .

 

[Froslass]

I don't want to find out the sex, but OH and I are going to. I think it's really rude when people try to enforce their opinions on you! They do the whole "So...*wink* *nudge* what you having" As if it's their god given right to know! The only reason we are finding out, is because our money is VERY tight, and I would feel a lot more comfortable knowing I had bought a lot of things in advance. Although, in saying that, if they can't see what it is, i'll take that as it's meant to be x

 

[Alexandra84]

...They do the whole "So...*wink* *nudge* what you having" ...

I think my answer to that would be "Umm, a BABY!"
Sorry, just couldn't resist lol!

 

[Froslass]

...They do the whole "So...*wink* *nudge* what you having" ...

I think my answer to that would be "Umm, a BABY!"
Sorry, just couldn't resist lol!

Lol I am SO going to say this! x

 

[LuciaLeek]

We had our scan on Tuesday and didn't find out. Although I'm curious, of course, I'd rather wait and have the surprise.
I know it's not quite the same, but did you ever snoop for your Christmas presents as a kid, find them and then feel disappointed that you knew exactly what you were getting? I think I'd have that same feeling.

I think needing to know so you can buy the right colour to save money in the long run is silly. Everyone I know who has found out has spent more as they see gender 'appropriate' items they just can't leave the shop without.

I find that most friends and family members buy you the pink/blue things as a gift as soon as the baby is born, so it's not like you have to wait that long anyway.

Of course, it's all personal preference and hate it when my colleagues push for me to find out! They too joke about calling the GP/Ultrasound place to ask them what I'm having. It's ridiculous really!

Don't let anyone pressure you into anything. I think your friends are just jealous that you have more self control than them...maybe they are secretly disappointed that they found out! Ha ha!

 

[songbird]

I didnt find out with my dd as the hospital wouldnt tell us and i could not afford to go private and i didnt see it as that important as all i wanted was a healthy baby.
Im going to find out with this one because the hospital will tell me but i think the most important thing to find out with a scan is if the baby is healthy

 

[snr1982]

Almost everyone I know who is pregnant has found out what they are having, and they can't believe I'm not. I'm happy that I haven't & I do not want to know until the day. It makes it all that more exciting I think. I never found out with my first either.

 

[nmf1987]

i found out but was quite happy not to if they couldn't tell us.

i found out just because i know i wouldn't be able to go for scan knowing they could tell me and not ask. i say i want to be prepared but to be honest i would of been fine if we hadn't of found out cos the nursery stuff is white and grey and so far i haven't bought anything blue and find myself looking at white/cream stuff more than i did before i knew. lol


xxxx

 

[almeria]

I can definitely understand anyone not wanting to find out, family must get really frustrated not knowing though, but that's there problem, not yours!

In my case, I am going to find out next week at a private scan, because I really really want to start planning and thinking of a name, and feel personally that I will start bonding more with my little 'him' or 'her' rather than 'it'.
Am very excited, and as this is my first, just having a baby come out of me at the end will be suprise enough for me! lol

 

[Katie21]

I understand exactly what you mean as i want to keep it as a surprise too and all of my family say that its lovely to have a surprise at the end of it. My other half really wants to find out because he really wants a boy but we cant change that anyway, it is what it is! All my work friends keep saying you have to find out so you can get ready, all i am buying is white baby gro's, vests, etc, then when he/she is born all my family and friends will go crazy and buy pink or blue! Im also looking forward to going out after and choosing clothes once he/she is born!

I just think if i find out then once i know il wish id never have found out even though it is going to be tempting at the scan when they ask you if you want to know!