feeling so low....

[mushy1]

I feel so low at the moment with every month turning out to be a BFN. I am also having alot of trouble with family at the moment. I recentlyhave fell out with my mum and to cut a very long story short she is basically asking me to pick between her and my husband. She says he is a control freak and he is making my life a misery but I cant see it. She says she hopes shes still alive on the day i finally see it and want a divorce !!!
The thing is......... I cant see it...........Ive always found my mum to be thecontrolling one in my life and surely making me pick between the two of them is doing just that ??

She is very good at what she does though and now because she has pointed out all hubbys bad points, I find myself being really off with him ....... basically incase whats she says is true and i 'cant see it' for myself. Im in a no win situation. So sorry to bang on but im so down about it all. I feel like my world is in turmoil . xx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

The only experiance i have had with this is when i met my OH, i was living at my nans at the time and when ny OH asked me to move in with him, my nan hit the roof, she told me i was going to ruin my life, that i could do better. She started to point out all of his bad points (and the 12 year age gap kept coming into it) and i did what u did mushy, i started to pick on the points my nan had pointed out and we argued like mad over the age gap. Im still with my OH and we have a little boy and my nan now has finally changed her mind.
Can u not speak to your mum mushy, let her know that u understand her consern but u love ur husband? Everyone has their bad points and yes they can be so annoying at times but just think of their good points and the reasons why u fell in love and married ur husband, surely these out weigh the bad points. Hope this helps.

Hope you get ur bfp soon hun, baby dust and hugs coming your way x x


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[clairebear22]

Mushy your Mum sounds just like my Mum and my Step-Dad! We fell out almost 2 years ago because they didn't want to give my OH the time of day. They tried to tell me I couldn't have him staying over in my house, they said he couldn't be trusted (just because he's a man!!). My step-dad even took it upon himself to drive past my house in the early hours of the morning to make sure he wasn't staying over!!!

Now I wouldn't have minded them being like this if I was 16 but I was 27 living in my own house and running my own business!!!!!!!!!!

Any way I let him stay over coz it's my house, my body and my life so they dissowned me!!

2 years later i'm still with my fantastic OH, we're now living together and TTC a baby!

I can't tell you what to do/say to your Mum because she's your Mum but if I spoke to my Mum now and she tried to control me she'd be out the door faster than lightening!!

If you love your Husband, which i'm sure you do then stick with him!

Good luck!!

xxx

 

[LouiseB]

Aw Mushy, try not to let BFNs get to you You're not alone.

As for your mum vs your husband, it doesn't matter how he treats you - it all comes down to if you feel happy with him or not when he treats you that way.

No one knows what your relationship is like more than you and your husband.

If your mum is keen on picking flaws, maybe it would be better to not talk about him around her. Even if you are upset with him at that time. Don't give her any fuel.

Love is what makes you not see his flaws - and love is a good thing to have in a marriage

 

[xshauna_bazx]

mushy im so sorry hun, don't let the BFN put you off you will get your BFP soon its may not feel like it but one month you will get the shock of your life when you see the 2 lines . As for your mam its is your life and EVERY man and everyone has bad points my man has loads lol but you love them for who they are and if you love him then i don't see the problem thats just someone elses opinion. Your mam shouldnt be trying to make you choose give her a few days and go and have a chat with her shes your mother im sure she will come round. Good luck to getting a BFP next month we are all here for you xxx

 

[mushy1]

Thankyou so much ladies for all your advise........... its such a boost just to talk about it. Ive tried talking to her a few weeks ago, basically she is selfish and she is more concerned about how she feels rather than anybody else. xx Anyway on a positive note going to buy some more ovulation sticks this week and get cracking xxx thanks again lovely ladies... it means the world to talk, dont think anyone realises how much xxxx

 

[Princess81]

aw hun, even if your mum thinks she has your best interests at heart shes not going a very good way about showing it. Ultimately, it's your life and if you are happy with your o/h that's all that matters. When you are frustrated by him (having had his bad points pointed out constantly) take stock of his good ones, I'm sure you'll sum up with a smile! x

 

[cherelle]

aww i know how you feel mushy, every bfn i get gets me more and more disheartened but we must crack on!!

Ive also had hard time with family, not so much with men etc but i have a very disfunctional family to say the least and at the end of the day you have to know what you do with your life and who you decide to have in it is your decision - nobody can every truly understand all the choices we make, but thats what makes us individuals and family members should respect that!

Good luck ttc and enjoy your OH - only you know how lucky you are!! x

 

[Binzy]

You chose your husband but you can't choose your mum. She just has to lump it. I don't like all of my friends' ohs but I would never dream of telling them, you married him so it's not like she's just met him! You just have to tell her that you've made your decision and no one is perfect but she can't expect you to choose between the two. Anyone that made me choose between 2 people I love would be in my bad books.

 

[mushy1]

I tell you what the comments from everybody makes me see things a whole lot clearer!!!! You have all been great and I now know that I have to stand up to my mum, even if she turns out to be right in the end ..... its my life.......my choices xxxxxxx Thanks again ladies x

 

[xshauna_bazx]

aw hun good luck in your future you will get your little bean soon hope to see your BFP on here shortly! xx

 

[mushy1]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Thanks xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hopefully it will be a good month for all of us !!!!!!! xx

 

[cherelle]

fingers crossed! x