Feeling rubbish :-(

[jenni16]

Pointless post but I just needed to write it somewhere as I can't talk to anyone until this evening.

My mum has no idea about my miscarriage nearly 4 weeks ago. She has no idea that we've been through hell these last few months. Our relationship really isn't great for a number of reasons lately so I absolutely do not want to tell her what has happened.
She rang this morning and asked me to take her to her gynae apt at the local hospital this afternoon (she only ever rings to ask me for something lately), I agreed and she's now here much earlier than planned.
It's just dawned on me that the gynae department is in with the EPAS. I've had so many visits to these depts this year, the last was when I had MM of the mmc then returned with suspected infection.
So it's hardly surprising that I cannot bear to go anywhere near this place, especially when I am still bleeding and getting faint positives after so long. I thought I'd got over the worst of this and avoided having to tell her. she will somehow turn it into a sob story about her if she finds out and will tell everyone. I just can't be doing with that. I don't need the sympathy. Not off her. I hate her right now. I know none of this is her fault, but I hate the fact that k feel I can't tell her, that I don't want to tell her. I'm hurting. I want her to go home. I just want to hold my baby boy and cry

 

[lisey]

Oh I am so sorry, I also had a miscarriage recently and got an infection afterwards, my erpc is 4 weeks ago now, its all still so raw, I have some days that are worse than others, I feel incredibly angry at the world and with some of my friends. I can't tell if the anger is rational or the grief.
I totally understand you not wanting to go to the gynae department as its associated with the pain and heartache that you have been through. I am so sorry your Mum is not more supportive and you feel you can't speak to her about what you have been through. We are all here for you though to let it all out xx