Back from more tests and need to rant

[reallyoldmum]

I apologise in advance because I am using this to rant!!!

I had to go back to the hospital this morning for more blood tests and they hadnt told EPAS that I was going - the receptionist was vile - she said that they hadnt got my notes and didnt know what was going on - as if I would choose to spend my Thursday morning trying to get my bloods taken!! Anyway she rang gynae and they told her yes I was supposed to be there and they would bring my notes - when they arrived she read them and said well you have a hcg level of less than 1 that means you are not pregnant so you shouldnt be here!! She was really loud and I just had to look her in the eye and say the reason I am here is that my baby is dead in my tube and they are waiting for me to loose it naturally and so are monitoring me every two days for infection. She didnt even apologise just said well go into that room then.

When the nurse arrived she said much the same thing - but in a nicer way ie this is a unit for pregnant women so I had to repeat to her that I had been pregnant and that my baby was still in my tube - she went off to get my full notes - when she came back she was very apologetic and said that in all her 12 on gynae she had never seen anything like it!!

All I have heard since Tuesday is how amazing it is that this has happened but I dont think its amazing I'm scared to death and cant help thinking about my poor baby being dead inside of me I just wish they would realise what they are saying- I dont want to be interesting, or amazing or a freak of nature - I would much rather be either pregnant or not - I feel so low now and this morning I was much brighter - I know I must be brave and people dont want to see me crying all the time but I still feel so shocked about it all.

Sorry to go on girls but writing it down makes me feel at least I am talking about it to people who understand....

 

[Sammystar]

you rant all you like........

 

[Fluffy Bunny]

- I know I must be brave and people dont want to see me crying all the time but I still feel so shocked about it all.

If you need to cry don't apologise for it or be brave, you are going through a traumatic time.

I'm sorry you were treated so badly by the receptionist

 

[sarah113]

 

[Babylicious]

 

[tracey 2]

hun please come on here and rant as much as you want hun, im so sorry you were treat so badly by them and im so sorry for everything that has happened im sorry i havent seen your post before this.

If you ever need to talk about anything or just to get it out or need a shoulder PM me anytime hun always here

 

[x Naomi x]

You rant away hun we are all here for you

 

[babydust]

rant away there is always someone here to listen

but im so bloody angry with the staff in that place they have just made a bad situation much worse, i honestly think these people become robots after a while, and switch off all emotions, i know when i was a nurse sometimes you had to or you would never be able to do your job for being upset but a bit of compashion from them wouldnt have hurt, i really think the nhs need to rethink the way women are treated after m/c they really should have specialised staff and departments and wards rather than mixing us up with mums to be, well i seemed to have ranted here sorry

did they say what the next step would be for you? i now emotionally you are going through hell but how do you feel physically do you have much pain?

Take care and get plenty rest

 

[reallyoldmum]

To be honest Babydust they dont seem to know exactly what will happen - I have another scan on Tuesday afternoon - they said that if it has reduced we will just monitor twice weekly until it all goes but if it hasnt reduced then we will look again at surgery to remove it but then I will also loose my right tube. I have been in lots of pain just on the right hand side the past couple of days but it seems to have eased this evening. My tummy is very swollen - I am usually a size 10 but I have had to buy a pair of size 14 leggings today along with some big pants!! What is worrying me is that my bleeding has stopped again so I am not sure what is going on - I just hate this limbo land.

I am just sitting here and I cant help worrying that if my poor little bean has been dead for some weeks then it must be doing some damage to the tube anyway - I feel a lot like a medical freak - it doesnt help that everytime I go students are dragged in to meet me and ask me about my symptoms - apparently they are no typical and this is why it was not picked up on - I also keep on thinking I am so lucky to be alive.....

In some ways I sort of wish they had just operated on Tuesday and then it would be over - but then if they can save my tube it will be better in the long run.

 

[babydust]

it must be horrible waiting not knowing hopefully tuesday will bring slightly better news

 

[gypsy]

you rant all you need to, we are all here for you.

They are treating you really badly and if it was me I would have flipped there and then at the.Well done on keeping your cool with them

 

[CB23]

ROM

Your treatment has been appalling. It is disgraceful that some NHS staff believe that this is the way they should treat women who have experienced a loss.

 

[tots hope]

Rant all you want x

 

[Rosebay]

Outrageous!

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and of the continuing stress of it all. I tried really hard to be all stiff upper-lipped about it in hospital with my m/c but in the end I was just putting off the inevitable and it felt better to have a huge several day cry about it. If that's not how you feel then ignore me but really there's no shame in letting the grief for your loss affect you .

Please go on ranting if it helps. I just wish these nurses/receptionists etc could understand how much they can affect the whole way that this awful experience happens for a woman.

Thinking of you and sending you huge hugs (())
+++

 

[jenna]

Sorry your having a bad time

 

[Mildly]

Only just seen this ROM, I can't believe the their attitudes. How much time does it take to throughly read a patient's notes - surely this should be done with every patient. I'm so sorry you were made to feel awful

I really hope that you continue to release the rest of your bean over the next few weeks as opposed to the surgery option, obviously neither situation is ideal but it must be horrible being in limbo Fingers crossed for better news on Tuesday

 

[trigger]

I'm sorry to hear you have had to go through all this.

 

[happy-chick]

 

[Trudyscrumptious76]

Only just read this ROM. So sorry to hear about the awful way you were treated at least the nurse was a bit nicer. Don't feel that you have to be strong. You cry all you want. Take care of yourself and hope it goes well tomorrow.