Feeling low and can't shake it off..

[Nomad]

I had a mc almost 4 weeks ago at around 6 weeks. I know it's possible to get pregnant again soon after a mc and I'm wondering if I am... I've been exhausted the past few days and had a couple of moments of feeling queasy. I've no idea when I ovulated (or even if I have!) and we've only dtd a couple of times since the mc. I haven't had a period since.

I don't really know what the purpose of this thread is - but my head's a bit all over the place at the minute and just feel like I need somewhere to vent!

I'm not sure that I've really 'dealt with' the mc. Me and hubby have hardly talked about it. Close family know but no-one mentions it - which is understandable. I don't feel like I could get excited about another pregnancy until we were a long way down the line as I'm in such a negative frame of mind thinking it'll happen again. To make matters worse hubby finds out today / tomorrow if he's being made redundant so I don't want to talk to him about how I'm feeling as he's got enough stress at the minute.

I know how lucky we are to have our beautiful daughter and I know so many people are much worse off so I feel like I shouldn't be complaining.

Sorry for the pointless post!

 

[cocosherbie]

Not a pointless post, thats whats its here for
Are you planning to test soon? Its natural that you will worry non-stop when you next get your BFP. Im going through the same right now.
Just try to take each day at a time, and think that you WILL get your sticky bean soon but also take some time to grieve for your loss,
Hope you feel better soon
xx

 

[RhondaLou]

Honey it's not a pointless post if you are low its better to let it out than try and bottle it up.

First of all of you think you might be pregnant have you done a test? It's difficult if you don't know when you ovulated. It's very common for women to fall pregnant again before a period as your body realises it's missing something and tries to replace it.

People deal with loss in their own way. I needed to talk about it. And shout and cry and scream and validate my anger because I was angry. i found it easier to "deal" with it by talking and remembering the baby I had lost. We have a pot in the garden in remembrance it has bright colours and windmills and figurines. To anyone else it's a pretty pot but to us its a memory and I often sit with a cup of tea and let the baby know I will never forget.

What I found hard to deal with was how others would try and guess how I was feeling and they thought they knew how I should act. people don't know what to say and do they either say what they think you want to here (which is usually the wrong thing) try and let you know that you can't possibly be feeling as bad as them (how do you think I feel I have to leave my children all day when I'm workin. Yes that must be hard but at least their children Are ALIVE!!!). Or they just avoid the subject because if they don't say it then maybe it hasn't happened after all and the world will continue to be a fluffy ball of cotton wool. Acknowledging your loss and pain is a good thing and if you feel you need to talk about it then do. Many people on this forum have experienced a loss so you are not alone.

I hope your husband gets good news about his job. Financial uncertainty can be hard. But maybe he doesn't realise how you are feeling. It might be good to talk to him and get his support.

As for getting excited about another pregnancy I have had very mixed emotions this time round. I was excited and then scared. And then in awe when we had an early scan and all seemed good. And then I went through a stage of feeling so guilty at being happy. How could I possibly be happy when my first child isn't here?! I felt I was forgetting the one we lost and was moving on too easily. So I sat by my pot and told them all about their little brother or sister and it helped.


Sorry for such a long reply hun I got a bit carried away there lol. The main point is if you are now expecting again you will find a way to feel excited when you are ready to. It doesn't mean you love and miss the one you lost any less. All the best xxx

 

[Nomad]

Thanks for your replies. My daughter was rushed in to hospital on Monday because she had a fit. She's had a seizure before but it's the first time she's actually convulsed and it was horrendous! She was kept in overnight but we're home now. Going back in this afternoon for an EEG to see if they can find out what caused it. While we were there I was waiting for my husband to call to tell me whether he's been made redundant - he called but I couldn't answer as I'd sat on my phone and the screen was broken!! He has been made redundant.

So it's been an awful couple of days basically! I still haven't come on my period. Did a test last night which was negative.

I think I probably need to talk to someone about how I'm feeling because I really don't think I can cope with much else.