can't shake off feeling low

[Ginnymarie]

hi
i know this should be a happy exciting time but I can't shake this depression, apart from feeling rubbish and being off work I don't feel excited at all. I have actually convinced and prepared myself for the worse so I am unable to enjoy any of it, I walk around feeling despondant and miserable.

I am normally a very positive person but I dont have any enjoyment in what life has to offer at the mo. I don't want to see people, eat anything, do anything except sleep until this baby is born. I feel unable to cope with what this pregnany has to throw at me from being sick to headaches and unable to consider managing work feeling so awful.

I can't even see the light at the end of the tunnel as I don't want to believe it as so scared of being disappointed.

Scared and confused and don't really have anyone except you guys to talk to (none of my friends in scotland have children nor want them at the mo).

Sorry for moaning, i wish i could shake it, I really do
xx

 

[Josephine_Beth]

Sorry to mention this but from your signature, I take it you miscarried this year?



Maybe you are feeling like this and it's understandable because of your past but you need to talk to someone. Can you call your GP tomorrow morning? It's always good to talk to someone and usually talking to someone we hardly know, feels even better.

You will feel better in time, maybe once you get into the 'safe zone' of the pregnancy, you will start to enjoy it more.

Do you have partner? Maybe telling him how you feel, see if he can do something to help, even if it's just a big, warm, hug! Or even your mum, I know she'd want to know and would have some vey good advice xxx

 

[Ginnymarie]

Thanks so much

yes, I will see my mum at the weekend...I worry people like my mum and her sisters will think I am a drama queen as they breezed through pregnancy.

I don't seem to one of those people that can 'just get on with things' although yes you are right I m/c in march and was back to work within a week and maybe it is hitting me now.

I am seeing my doctor tommorow and maybe they can help, I know hormones will be playing a big part.

thanks so much for respondingxxx

 

[Rosebay]

I think it's totally understandable and don't underestimate hormones and the effect that all the changes are having on you. I'm sure that once you're past this first trimester you'll start feeling confident about it all. It will come sooner than you think too. Don't feel that you have to feel like you're walking on air about it all or anything either. I think it's a bit of a myth that everyone loves being pregnant and that's not to say that we're all not very grateful that we are, it's just a fact. I am determined to enjoy it more this time although I think I might wait until I stop feeling sick first! I thought I wasn't moaning much but my OH says I am and I guess he knows. Last time I moaned constantly- I remember meeting some friends of ours when I was about 6 months pregnant and one of them asked me if I'd had any side-effects or symptoms and before I could open my mouth my OH had reeled off an incredibly impressive list not so much that he'd been listening more that I'd made SURE he knew!

Good luck at the Drs tomorrow


+++

 

[fifi211]

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this

It does seem that you have had a rough time of it, and it would do you good to talk to someone. Don't worry about what others think of how you are coping especially your own family they will want to support you as best they can and not everyone handles things in the same way.

Hope that things start to improve for you soon and you start to feel better about things, if you ever need to chat you know where I am

 

[Happybunny]

Awww Gemma honey, your feelings are completely understandable. Miscarriage is so terribly upsetting, of course you will be scared of it happening again. I know exactly what you mean. I feel my previous lsses have ruined my enjoyment of this pregnancy. I too am waiting for the worst. But, I have every confidence that one I reach 12 weeks and can see my healthy bub, I will begin to lighten up and enjoy the experience. Every now and again I begin to feel a little wave of optimism.
Hopefully this will be the same for you too.
You have been through a tough experience and it is only natural that you will relate those unhappy memories to your current pregnancy. You are not a drama queen, your feelings are real and important.
I don't know if it may be any help to you, but I see this great guy, a psychotherapist. I mainly see him because of my anxiety, however, he has been a massive help in helping me come to terms with my loss and focussing positive energy on my new baby.
we do a lot of meditation and positive visualisation. It is really helpful and helps me to feel calmer about my growing baby. (He has even cured my extreme flying phobia!! I flew all the way to Hong Kong and back with no medication!!! I managed my anxiety through meditation...it worked brilliantly!!)
I highly recommend this kind of therapy, it is non invasive and does wonders for your well-being. I get it privately, but I am sure your doctor will refer you if you asked him/her.
It may not be your cup of tea, but I thought it was worrth mentioning.

I hope you feel ok soon, but please don't worry, you will feel better in a few weeks and then you can begin to relax.

I am thinking of you
M
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Josephine_Beth]

Ginny,

Not a problem at all, I feel like I have been on a rollarcoster but the first 5months were very dramaic with the hormones. Your mum won't look down on you, she's your mum and will know exactly what you are going through.

Pregnancy, isn't made for every woman, I know I don't like being pregnant and I know my mum hated it too but the bundle of joy you get at the end of it, makes it worth while.

You're not alone, at all in thinking like this, so don't feel bad honey. There are plenty of ladies on this forum that will welcome you with open arms, the site ev en has a section so that you can ask for a pregnancy buddy, maybe this would be good for you? Least you'd have someone who knows first hand what youa re going through.

If you need a chat, drop me a PM sometime

 

[Steelgoddess]

I think its really natural to feel low in a pregnancy after a miscarriage because it hits you a bit more...

I think you need to take a step back and not be too hard on yourself, know you WILL have days where you feel really down but at the same time this baby needs you to be positive for it, is it possible that something in particular has triggered you to feeling so low?

Pregnancy is a massive rollercoaster and I believe it forces us to face a whole load of what ifs and maybes etc.

hugs
x

 

[DebbieM]

Gemma,

This is my first pregnancy and I felt exactly the same way you do now in the beginning. I had a few weeks of feeling great then got very low after some bleeds and those feeling didn't leave me until around 11 weeks.

I do still have days where I feel negative - yesterday in fact - for no real reason. I think a lot of it is hormonal and I do think you will feel better soon xxx

 

[Ginnymarie]

awh guys

thanks so much for your wise words.

I have spoken to my mum and she was so helpful, i am going to see her next week for a bit of TLC. The lack of sleep, food, people, being on antibiotics etc..although the nausea has subsided a wee bit (now somehting new for me to worry about).

Sharne - you are right to say has something triggered this. In my second year at Uni, I moved in with people i didn't know as all my friends had been 3rd years and left. I became ill with a terrible stomach virus that weakened my immune system and stomach for ...I would say years.

I spent about 4 days not leaving my room unable to move for being sick...and the other....eventually i got the health centre as one of the flatmates clicked on I was in my room (they thought i was out with other friends all the time, they were not a concerned nice bunch to be honest)..
my poor mum came up a week later and had to clean the stench that was my room, sounds daft but it traumatized me......being nauseous and ill alone is bringing it all back. I have faced other challenges in my life but something about that time in my life haunts me, so yes.....

Michelle I will ask about a counsellor or therapist to try and calm my anxiety about so many things.

thanks again guys....you are great and very supportive
xxx

 

[muppetmummy]

I'm sure it will get easier once you reach 2nd tri. By that time you'll feel more confident, and will feel a lot better physically too. I'm glad you've got your mum to talk too

 

[Steelgoddess]

Its brilliant that you have found the trigger because seomtimes that can be hard within its self.

I think the best thing to do and i know this might sound really hard is when you start to feel ill or naseus DO NOT stay cooped up in the house GET OUT!

Go for a walk to the local shops and get yourself a mag maybe read it in the park. If your feeling REALLY bad go for a lie down but keep the curtains OPEN hopefully draw in some sunlight, pop the radio on aswell light is great for when your depressed dingy spaces with not much light are not too good.

Also try to train your brain into thing, this sickness is a GOOD and a HEALTHY sickness its your babys way of saying hey Mum im doing ok in here and all the hormones increasing in your body to do a wonderful thing.

Start touching your tummy (even though its early i believe we CAN send nice vibes to our little ones like a plant growing needs water! and love and care). Send baby nice vibes, or tell it about your day.

It will take time so give yourself a break for that, get out the house for a treat.

I agree about seeing a councellor you will great through this hon

x

 

[Ginnymarie]

thanks sharne

i did try and chat to the baby and touching my tummy and then I get scared of getting attached. I have a bump already, a teeny one as I'm petite and have lost half a stone anyway so it is good to see I am actually showing evidence of being pregnant.

I will try and just ride through this time, I'm going to walk to the shops like you said and get a mag and some more non-sick foods...noodles and white bread...how unhealthy!!!

thanks again for all your help and support...I know you will know how it feels
xxx

 

[Josephine_Beth]

A good few years back I was 4 months pregnant, only found out I was pregnant 3 months and 1 week in, by the time I told the need-to-know-people, I lost the baby. During that same week, my best friend had died due to choking on her own sick, I was made redundant from work and was kicked out my apartment.

So, when I first got -pregnant, I couldn't talk for nearly 2days, I was so worried. Mainly because 1) I was told I could never get preg 2) if I was told about number 1, is that why I lost my first baby? If so, would it happen again?

If it wasn't for my hubby and my parents support, I would have gone cookoo but they made me realised, that even if I am the one pregnant, I am not alone.

xxxx

 

[Steelgoddess]

A good few years back I was 4 months pregnant, only found out I was pregnant 3 months and 1 week in, by the time I told the need-to-know-people, I lost the baby. During that same week, my best friend had died due to choking on her own sick, I was made redundant from work and was kicked out my apartment.

So, when I first got -pregnant, I couldn't talk for nearly 2days, I was so worried. Mainly because 1) I was told I could never get preg 2) if I was told about number 1, is that why I lost my first baby? If so, would it happen again?

If it wasn't for my hubby and my parents support, I would have gone cookoo but they made me realised, that even if I am the one pregnant, I am not alone.

xxxx

Thats awful!! im so sorry!

 

[Steelgoddess]

A good few years back I was 4 months pregnant, only found out I was pregnant 3 months and 1 week in, by the time I told the need-to-know-people, I lost the baby. During that same week, my best friend had died due to choking on her own sick, I was made redundant from work and was kicked out my apartment.

So, when I first got -pregnant, I couldn't talk for nearly 2days, I was so worried. Mainly because 1) I was told I could never get preg 2) if I was told about number 1, is that why I lost my first baby? If so, would it happen again?

If it wasn't for my hubby and my parents support, I would have gone cookoo but they made me realised, that even if I am the one pregnant, I am not alone.

xxxx

Thats awful!! im so sorry!

 

[Josephine_Beth]

Sharne, with me, when it rains, it pours! I was only 22 then, now I am 25.

I just think it wasn't meant to be, they say that some miscarriages can not be explained but it is a way that your womb is preparing you for pregnancy one day.

I thank my lucky stars for my LO now, even when he is kicking the cr@p out of my ribs and tummy

 

[Steelgoddess]

A good few years back I was 4 months pregnant, only found out I was pregnant 3 months and 1 week in, by the time I told the need-to-know-people, I lost the baby. During that same week, my best friend had died due to choking on her own sick, I was made redundant from work and was kicked out my apartment.

So, when I first got -pregnant, I couldn't talk for nearly 2days, I was so worried. Mainly because 1) I was told I could never get preg 2) if I was told about number 1, is that why I lost my first baby? If so, would it happen again?

If it wasn't for my hubby and my parents support, I would have gone cookoo but they made me realised, that even if I am the one pregnant, I am not alone.

xxxx

Thats awful!! im so sorry!

 

[Josephine_Beth]

Sharne, with me, when it rains, it pours! I was only 22 then, now I am 25.

I just think it wasn't meant to be, they say that some miscarriages can not be explained but it is a way that your womb is preparing you for pregnancy one day.

I thank my lucky stars for my LO now, even when he is kicking the cr@p out of my ribs and tummy