Feeling like a failure & Holly's only 6 days old

[Sunnyb]

I just wanted to share my experience with you all. I breastfed Joseph for 6 months without many issues (even after a traumatic birth & severe anaemia).
It was my intention to do the same with my 2nd baby. All went well during the birth & Holly went straight to my breast & fed straight away. I was kept in hospital overnight & she fed most of the first night (so I got no sleep).
The first 2 nights at home were the same - very restless, crying & feeding all night. Monday & Tuesday were better (feeding every 2 hours). But Tuesday was uncomfortable as my breasts became very hot & engorged & have been ever since. She struggles to latch on & so now my nipples are sore too. Today things have got worse as I have been diagnosed with a uterine infection so all in all I now have - sore stitches, hot swollen boobs, uterine infection & totally knackered. My husband really wants to help with feeding, but I've been told not to express until 6 weeks. I am now thinking is it better to move to formula & bottles so I can have help from others? I feel I'm letting Holly down & losing that bond if I do. But my hubby says I'm no use to her or Joseph if I'm tired & poorly. Can't stop crying & not sure if to give up or carry on!
Sorry to moan, but anyone else had anything similar happen & if so, what did you do??

Sunnyb xxx

 

[Esoames]

Awww you poor thing. I too was told to wait 6 weeks and Isla has never taken a bottle. Could you get the midwife to help you? Remember happy baby happy mummy so don't feel like you've let her down. Maybe give it a day or so and try again when your boobs are less painful xxx

 

[Maria1977]

You're doing well xxx I know they not to express so soon but my son was tongue tie and couldn't latch properly so he was mainly cup fed for the first week so I had to express to get my supply to come in - this took about 4 days - and then to keep my supply up and it didn't my supply any harm at all. My boobs have always managed to produce what he needs xxxxxx

 

[Minchin]

Hi Hon
Congrats btw!
sorry to hear you are feeling so crappy. And you are not a failure whatever you decide. I think you've put a lot of pressure on yourself?
What I would say is try and stick with it cos it'll be easier in the long run. Your milk's only just comign through now which is why the booby pain-hopefully that will help. One of the girls on here was talking about some pads from boots that you can cool or warm which help.

I had a really hard time bfing for first 4-6 weeks. Day 5 we went to see a bfing specialist who watched Owen latch on and gave me some tips. I had a lot of nipple pain and craked and bleeding nipples cos his latch just wasnt quite right. Lasinoh cream helped a lot. Maybe try and wait 2 more weeks to express then baby should be better established on the boob?

Have you got others around aswell as OH to help with your toddler? Cos in an ideal world you should be lying in bed, eating, drining, cuddling, bfing sleeping and watching tv.

Hugs. Hope it gets better xx

 

[Baby Bean]

Lansinoh was a godsend in the early days, you can also get nipple shields, a friend of mine had to use one. Why did they say not to express? it might help give you a bit of a break and let your nipples heal a bit, if its that or switch to formula anyway I don't see the harm. Well done for sticking with it hun, I know how you feel. I got mastitis quite a few times but refused to give up! Good luck hun, if you stick with it. Please don't feel like a failure tho, breastfeeding was the hardest thing I ever did!

 

[jodied]

Hey Hun

First of all whatever you decide is absolutely fine! You are not a failure you are doing the best you can for your little girl.

Personally I would express even if you freeze the milk for now - it will relieve your breasts and if you express a little before each bf it might make it easier for holly to latch on. I had to express to make my milk come in as Ella was in scbu and not able to bf straight away but after a few days we started bf and gradually built it up. From day 13 I have given her one bottle of expressed milk a day as she was established at bf by then. If you leave it too long she might refuse a bottle

Big Xx

 

[Sunnyb]

Thanks girls. I don't want to throw the towel in & that's why my hubby wanted to help & I wanted to express. Midwife is coming tomorrow so I'll seek some further advice from her. I've been prescribed Cefalexin & Metronidazole for the uterine infection, but have been told it may be undelivered placenta if the antibiotics don't seem to help over next 48-72 hours & I might end up back in hospital
I'm going to bed now after I've breastfed Holly as I'm shattered & in pain. Hopefully she'll be good for mummy tonight!

Thanks again for all your advice & support - you are all stars x

Sunnyb xxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Huge congrats on your baby - well done!

I was going to say exactly the same as Jodied!! I have one boob much bigger than the other and gets much more full of milk esp in the morning, and sometimes Devon still has trouble latching on to it when it's full and he is 5 months now! I choose to feed from the other side if too full and express from the big side. Or even if you expressed a little bit off , it will let the boob and nipple soften in shape so baby can latch on better.

I went to a health visitor run baby group (sure start centre) and they had a breastfeeding lady who was loads of help, and just running it by someone was great too.

Don't give up, I bottle fed 3 kids and sooo badley wanted to breastfeed my last one Devon, it's the only thing that kept me going, but god it's so much easier in the end isn't it - hang in there for these tricky weeks and you can both reap the rewards in the longer term.

I was having huge confused boob issues, so was told to stop expressing and bottle feeding the once a day like I was from week 1 , (while they settle down), and so I waited a few weeks, and now littl,e Devon will not take a bottle at all!!! He has to have milk in a beaker now if I'm not there, so I express for the freezer for that incase!)

Your own milk is great for using when weaning for food too

I also agree Lansinoh, don't need it now, but god did I ever those first weeks, apply loads after every feed!!! love the stuff.

Your doing great, so don't feel bad, your deprived of sleep , in pain, ill, and bringing up kids and a new baby - wow to you super mum X

 

[Elfs Mummy]

Demand to see a bf adviser they are fantastic hun and should be able to help you xxx

 

[bidsy]

yes my little boy also Joseph, fed well but was constantly on me every couple of hours, boobs hot n massive, uterus infection sore stitches n knackered crying loads every night. I put him on the bottle after 4 weeks and it was the best thing I did. I was also in hospital with gall stone problem when he was 3 weeks and was expressing n putting so much pressure on myself. Everyone told me to put him on the bottle and it was so much better all round x

 

[isobel84]

Lansinoh is Good hun, have u tried it? Igott some test pouches that I can send u if u want? Xx

 

[Esoames]

Lansinoh is Good hun, have u tried it? Igott some test pouches that I can send u if u want? Xx

It's also half price at sainsburys too xx

 

[frankie707]

I was told to hand express a bit off boobs when they were hard and full to make them softer so G could latch better. Savoy cabbage - stick one in the fridge and then stick the leaves down your bra, sounds ridiculous but feels AMAZING on those hot boobs.

 

[Minchin]

morning,
hope the night wasn't too bad and you have a good chat with the hv today. Seems maybe expresing a bit will help?
xx

 

[Sunnyb]

Good morning girls. Had a good night with Holly (not sure if she sensed my illness) but she fed at 11.30, 1.35, 2.40 & then slept until 5.50!!!
Thanks Isobel84 for offering to send me some samples, that's really kind of you. I have some Lansinoh & it is brilliant stuff, I think it was engorgement & frequency of feeds not latching on properly that's caused the soreness
I also bought some of the gel packs from Mothercare that you can heat up or put in the fridge & then put in your bra, stuck them in the fridge yesterday & had them on last night. The engorgement pain does seem to be easing, but still drained & in pain from the uterine infection, hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon. Midwife is coming first thing this morning, so going to discuss breastfeeding advice, expressing etc with her. Don't want to give up just yet, so I'll get as much information as I can & then make my decision based on how I feel in the next week or two.
Your support & advice is very much appreciated & it's great to have people who can relate to you & understand/sympathise with you. I'll keep you posted once I've seen the midwife today xxx

Sunnyb xxx

 

[Maria1977]

Glad LO had a good night hun, and glad you're feeling bit better this morrning. I think sleep deprevation plays a big part, if you can get a good amount of sleep then everything doesn't seem 'too much' xxxxxxxx

 

[rbryan0205]

i mixed fed from day one by suggestion of the midwifes on maternity ward because amelia was small and paedetrician wanted her to have so much formula but i wanted to breast fed i started expressing on ay two so i would say express and try it but i did have to stop breast feeding at 11 weeks as amelia wass filling up so wanted feeding every 40 mins x

 

[bethx]

Ive been expressing one bottle every morning for about 2 weeks now. Alex has deiced to refuse the bottle the past few days though so sometimes that doesnt help. I hope your feeling better and manage to sort something. Alex fed hourly until he was 5 weeks he finally gone to about 2 hourly and 3 hours at night so i know how draining it is.. especially with another child who wants my attention to... stik with it a bit longer and if its not working dont feek guilty about formula feeding. im sure baby would prefer a happy mommy to anything else.

 

[munchkin1982]

Hey hun. I'd say definately try and express. I was expressing milk for Layla the day after she was born! They told me to in hospital to keep my milk supply up. The more you feed/express the more milk you will end up having. I actually stopped breast feeding Layla a month ago (wanted to keep breastfeeding but she just wasn't taking to the breast anymore and I couldn't express anywhere near what she needed) and switched to formula. Even though I was struggling to express for her in the end... I STILL haven't dried up! I still leak when I have a hot shower/bath, when I do the washing up/housework etc, when I go to sit down, I have two massive wet patches by my nipples lol. Funny how our bodies work huh? xx

 

[JJ Mum]

Oooh yes your sounding really positive today - well done, sleep when you can X