feeling down

[Tineke]

I am sorry you feel so down and are put in this situation. Either way life has a way of working things out in time.

YOu are having these feelings because you care and you are obviously aware of why things have come to a head in this way. If the issue is with your Nan, then it is with her. It is not for anyone else to get involved and they need to know this. You are setting the example right now that you have higher expectations of your family and this includes all those around you.

If you find this is eating you up and making you more sad and too emotionallly draining, then kill with kindness, Nan would be shocked and you will be the sister to the others who is beyond the crap that is going on.

You have survived so much at this point on your life, what's to say you won't come above this?? think positively, send flowers and love them unconditionally, you will rise above all the issues and feel better for it.

I'm not sure if this made sense at all. I am sleepy right now, but I really do hope this all works out somehow.

My thoughts are with you,
Tineke oxox

 

[Layla]

there is no getting away from it!

i just got a 4 page letter of abuse through the post from my nan, basicly saying what a bad person i am and how i dont care for my kids and how i cause trouble and what a bitch i am etc.

i cant belive she took the time to sit down and write a 4 paged letter and then say she feels sorry for me coz im not happy unless im making someones life hell?!

im crying so hard at teh mo that i dont know what to do with myself, getting alot of braxton hicks too
dont want to call jase home from work coz its really busy there this time of year for him.

im at the point where i just cant be botherd with anything anymore

 

[Rosieroo]

Hon calm down, rip the letter into little pieces and throw it away.

Sit down with a cup of tea, give Jason a call and see if he can come home for some lunch and a hug and give yourself lots of belly rubs and think about the baby.

I know if I was in your situation I'd have probably already wrote and sent a letter back (not that it's the right thing to do but I am impulsive ) telling my nan that I do not appreciate nor think it's appropriate for someone of her age and who is supposed to be family to be writing such things to a heavily pregnant woman and that she should be ashamed of herself.

Grrrr I feel angry for you!

{{{hugs}}}

 

[Layla]

she said i have lost everyone and im going to end up on my own.

she sister died hateing her, she sister son and wife hate her and want nothing to do with her, i moved out with i was 16 coz i couldnt stand her, all my sister have moved out coz they couldnt stand living with her and now she has lost me, my kids and jase, and yet she thinks its me thats loseing everyone??

 

[Tara & Liam]

Layla that is horrible. i am sorry to say that your nan is evil and twisted. if i were you i would copy the letter and then send a copy of the letter to everyone else in your family stating that you have now decided to cut your nan out of your life, unless she apologised.

How dare she say heartless and cruel things to you, especially in your condition. i challenge anyone to say to my face that i dont care for my children. Just the posts that you put on this forum tell me all that i need to know about what sort of parent you are, and i know that you are a brilliant, caring, compassionate and well grounded mother, person and wife. and i have only known you for a short while.

You really do not need negative people in your life. cut them out before they bring you down to their level. i know it must hurt, especially as she is nice to the others but think about yourself, your baby and the rest of your wonderful family. to me i think that your nan is jealous of the success you have made with your life. you have a husband that loves the ground that you tread on and your kids love you unconditionally. what has your nan got.

hun you just take care of yourself and try to let it all go over your head.
sorry if ive rambled on but i am fuming.
x

 

[Layla]

also, her husband cheated on her and had a child with someoneelse before divorceing her coz he couldnt stand her! i think its about time someone reminded her of all these facts, then if she still wants to tell me IM loseing everyone she can

 

[Sarah W Baby Belly]

I can't believe you are going through all this. What a nightmare!

Families are a nightmare, quite a lot of the time. I don't connect at all with my dad, my brother and my Sister in law, but I'm not having anywhere near the time you are having.

Women of a certain age. i.e over 70 do not think before opening their mouth, don't let her bring you down babe.

 

[Tara & Liam]

My nan wasnt very nice (on my mums side). She was a bit sharp and bitter.

My mum told me that my grandad had another woman on the side but in the end he had to pick and he choose his children.

My nan wouldnt have liked my hubby as he is just a builder, she wouldnt have even given him the chance. she would have been nice to his face but then she would stab him in the back.

This is what she was like, she was looking after her next door neighbours plants and because they were horders and had loads of things everywhere she took pictures of all their clutter and showed them to people. i mean whats that all about.

i hope i get struck by lightning if i ever turn like that.

x

 

[*saulino*]

Hi Layla

Sorry this is so late havent been on much lately.
I'm so sorry to hear about your nan and your other family members.
I know how shes been this last while and it must be so hard, and you dont need this stress right now you need to relax and take care of you and baby. I think everyone has family battles i didnt talk to my aunt for a year until Thanksgiving when she apologized to me and we still only see eachother when at my dads.
Talk to the sisters that arent mad and ask them to help you explain to everyone else what is happening, and maybe they will come around.
It always sucks cuz if half the family isnt talking you have to see evryone seperatly so there are no fights which isnt much fun.
Maybe send the letter back to your Nan and i dont know her but maybe she'll read it and realize how foolish and rude she was??

I know with my aunt she has a medical reason with her brain which is why she has out burst she had called me a slute and said im gonna be a horrible mom and that bernie will leave me as soon as shes born, but now shes talking medication cuz she felt so horrible and the doctor found some kind of chemical imbalance in her. Do you think possibly she might have somehting like this???? or is she just plain rude.

Well i hope all goes well and big hugz as well and try and relax you deserve it.
Katrina

 

[Layla]

just giving an update on this suitation.....

in the letter my nan sent she basicly said we were greedy to accept her £40 argos vouchers as the wedding gift.

so Jase sent her £40 back and a note telling her to leave our family alone coz we want nothing more to do with her.

my dad is also not talking to her coz of what she did.

My nan got the money and letter this morning, my dad gets a phone call on his mobile, he ignores it coz its her, she left him a message, he said she was crying asking him to go round there as she doesnt see that shes in the wrong.


now, i know i shouldnt, but im very pleased and smug right now over this, silly woman basicly disowned me first so why shes now upset that we agree with her is beyond me, but for now i have taken great pleasure in knowing the shoe is now on teh other foot and she feels like shit.

sorry, i know thats evil, but its how i feel.

also wanted to say thanks for all your replies, it kept me going

xxxxx

 

Hi mate i'm so sorry I missed this thread I hope you're okie.

Mark's nan is a spiteful bitch and has spent years trying to upset the family and is succeeding. I now don't hold my tounge (sick of playing nice now) and give her a mouthful when she needs shutting up. She forced us to move out before we had enough money saved and put us in the financial messy sh*t we are in now and I really don't like her for it. If it wasn't for her I'd be able to afford to buy my baby a car seat to bring him home from hospital in, but as we don't have any money, I'm gonna have to risk buying a second hand on the cheap or soemthing.

Families aren't always there forever. I dont speak to my Nan or my Gran now due to the rifts they caused whilst I was growing up.

Your main focus is Jase and the kids, they are the ones who matter and hold you together.
Family are the people you chose to have a round you, not the ones you are born with.

Hope you're okie sweetie - sorry you've had a rough time since the wedding xx