Feeling down

[TORino]

I don't think I'm adjusting very well to being a mummy

I've done nothing but cry the last few days and for no good reason (well the boiler thing was good reason I guess).

I find it really tough to settle Matilda at times and I get frustrated really easily. It's almost like she can sense how much it winds me up. I'm feeling bad more than good ATM.

I know it's early days etc and we are still finding our feet but I'm starting to wonder if I should talk to someone? How do you know when you need to get help?

 

[ZMD]

I felt extremely emotional in the early days and cried at the drop of a hat! I managed to melt the breast pump in the steriliser and rung OH at work telling him I was useless crying my eyes out like it was the end of the world lol.
Hope you feel better soon xx

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[leannesxb]

hun I know how you feel. When I mentioned it too the midwife she said by all means see the gp but if you know you are doing it, can recognise that you need help and don't have any feelings of dislike towards baby then its all normal hormones etc. SHe said crying, low self confidence, irritability etc etc is all normal and is very frequent in new mums. xxxxxx

 

[VikkiR]

I was very tearful, good tears though but tears all the same. I know it can be overwhelming much of the time. I made a conscious effort to tell myself not to try and be perfect, pretty hard for a perfectionist. I take each morning, afternoon and evening as it comes. I let my LO lead and I just do the necessary to look after her. If she sleeps great, if she doesn't I do what instinctively I feel I need to do knowing at some point she'll sleep. I have no fixed picture what a new mum looks like therefore I have nothing to live up to and no stress or feelings of failure. I know I love her beyond belief and make sure she feels that too. It's perfectly normal to feel as you do, dont doubt yourself and be kind to yourself. I'd say when you get feelings that your LO would be better off without you for more than a week then that's the time to see your GP. You want to do your best I know but don't make the mistake of trying to be perfect, you're perfect for your LO already xxx

 

[BabyBrain]

I know how you feel hun. Sometimes it seems like nothing I do is right for Bertie, and trying too hard sometimes makes it even worse. I have to keep telling myself that I'm not wonder woman and not everything is black and white with babies. Last night he was warm, clean and fed and was still unsettled....he just wanted a cuddle but omg did I wind him up doing everything else. That led to him waking up fully and refusing to go to sleep.

If you feel the need to talk to someone then by all means do so. You need to do whatever you can to look after yourself as well as Tilly. Just because you are now a mummy it doesn't mean you have ceased to exist. But it sounds to me like you are doing an amazing job. Feel free to pm me if you need to sound off sweetie xxxxxxxxxx

 

[pushca]

Aw so sorry to hear this hun. I think it's very normal to feel a bit emotional in the early stages. You still have hormones raging through your body & if you're not having a decent amount of sleep that just aggravates things. During pregnancy you're treated like royalty & then during / just after birth you're fussed over & pandered too - & then whoomph - you're back home & on your own & I think a small element of holiday blues kicks in! It did for me anyway. And I had the same when hubby went back to work on Monday.

But if it's really getting to you, or like someone else said, you're feeling you're not bonding or resenting baby, it's best to speak to someone.

I'm sure you're doing a fab job though, Hun so try not to doubt yourself. You & Matilda are still getting to know one another. I really hope you feel better soon xxxxx

 

[Samsgirl]

i felt exactly the same hon....i have never cried so much as i did the first 3/4 weeks of being a mum!!

 

[TORino]

Thank you ladies.

I hate the volatile feelings of one minute being calm and relaxed to crying the next and super stressed the next. It's wearing me down

I hate hearing her cry, which I need to get over quick sharp cos that's what babies do right?? I don't like it when I can't stop it. Which does happen a fair bit. I get panicky when I am on my own with her and I can't settle her and then the ringing in my ears starts.

The bloody boiler breaking down is adding to my stress levels massively. I need to have a tidy house to relax and I have piles of washing to do and it's cold and I need to keep my stitches clean so I'm off to my folks of an evening to get a bath. I've even had to boil the kettle to get my bits clean this morning.

Today has been a better day for me though. Every day I learn something new about my darling girl and this is helping me cope a bit better. I don't have feelings of resentment or anything like that, mostly just helplessness but it is slowly subsiding.

Thanks for your kind wishes, and sharing your own experiences, it seems I am not alone xx

 

[wannabmummy]

Hun I feel the same! I spent pretty much all day yesterday crying about everything and anything! I cry at least once a day at the moment! It's so normal, because it's so new and your hormones are all over the place, but you obviously adore your gorgeous baby girl and you don't resent her! I think that's the main difference between baby blues and depression, if you get upset and cry but still look at your daughter and love her to pieces you have the baby blues and that is 100% normal. We are all here whenever you need to vent/talk and the majority of us feel exactly the same xxx

 

[Nurse 26]

i feel the same hun, many tears over the past 2 weeks. Harry can be terrible to settle sometimes so know how you feel, its a very steep learning curve but we will get there xx

 

[Maybe_mummy]

Dont be so hard on yourself its hard work adjusting to having a new baby in your life, I spent so long worrying about being pregnant I never thought im gonna have a baby at the end of this, Stupid I know!! Ive panicked and cried plenty with dispare and not knowing what to do and think its a perfectly natural thing. In time things will come to you more naturally its like a getting to know you process, I hated when Alyssia cried and wanted to stop it and sometime I couldnt. But hated it more when she cried with someone else just wanted her back!

Have you been out with her much or to see friends? XX

 

[JoJo79]

we all feel like this at some point i think especially when its your first baby, no one can prepare you for that time when your left on your own with this tiny bundle and literally have no clue what your supposed to do!

Like the others have said it's a good thing that you realise you may need to talk to someone about how your feeling, and we are always here for you too,

Trust me tho it does get easier, it just feels like forever while you get through the first few weeks of learning what this little bundle needs and getting to know each other, top that off with everything else your dealing with and the lack of sleep i think your coping brilliantly!

(can i just add, ive had this feeling too tears/hopelessness etc in the first few wks after Jaiden was born and he's my 3rd!) xxx

 

[l_maclean]

she's still brand new, it takes a while to get used to everything.

I managed to have a proper shower this morning while G lay wriggling on her mat on the bathroom floor - and for the first time in 7 weeks I actually thought "wow - I can do this"

Your not alone. There's always someone here going through the same thing. Xxx

 

[Jess1979]

Bless you Hunni x x Im 6 weeks on and I still cry at anything and everything.

Like you our boiler broken last Wednesday and was then condemned on the day snow arrived in Sheffield. Then my husbands van which he needs for his work as he is self employed broke down.

Hopefully things will get better for us. Big Hugs Hunni

 

[My1stBaby]

ohhh i think its clear to see that we all go through this!!! its a massive change and a massive shock, during pregnancy all we want is for our LOs to be here n then they get here n we feel like were not doing it right etc. stress levels are at an all time high along with the hormones and no sleep so im sure it will just get better

id say keep an eye on how you feel for a couple more weeks n then maybe speak to GP then, or you can ring your HV??

hope you feel better soon xxxx