feeling down and depressed - whats wrong with me?

[LittleL]

Hi all,

im nearly 14 weeks pregnant and for the last few weeks i have been feeling so down and depressed and i don't know what to do....

I know pregnancy is a big life changing process (this being my first baby aswell, so its all new to me) and all the hormones etc arn't helping but its getting worst for me. Most days i haven't got the energy or willingness to do anything.. all i want to do is curl up and cry!! I've even been scivving work some days and even my bf has said how negitive and down i've been lately and he is getting abit concerned

Truth be told, This baby wasn't planned but when we found out , me and bf were really happy and excited but as i say, the last few weeks i've just been feeling like crap and asmuch as i hate to admit this, i've started doubting everything and worrying about every tiny little thing - money, what to expect, worry about the labour, worry about when the baby arrives and if i'll be able to handle it, worry that me and bf's relationship might suffer etc etc.... I hate feeling like this but i can't seem to get back to the happy and excited feelings i once had about this pregnancy

im not sure if i'm just going through a 'funny' phase and whether its all normal to being having such negitive feelings about this all or whether its possibly something more serious and maybe i should speak to someone?!

maybe i've been niave, as i always thought that when i got pregnant, it would be all happy and cheerful and a moment to enjoy for 9 months but so far its been nothing like that - all the nasty symptoms dragging me down and now these negitive emotions - whats wrong with me? am i normal?

thanks
laura xx

 

[flexilexi394]

I can relate to that word from word. I feel excactly the same. im going to PM you if thats ok. x

 

[Countrybumpkin]

I think we all have major questions run through our head, whether good or bad, whether planned or not planned, as it is a very exciting time, mixed up with fears and the unknown. I have to admit i did go through a bit of a depression time, about 13 /14 weeks (it did pass), and so tearful it was beyond a joke.

Just feeling like it a little again this week, but i think a lot of it is i am very tired, and have so much to do and not enough hours in the day and tiring myself out.

Don't worry your not a lone and if you still feel like this, have a chat with your MW at your next appointment.

People go on about loving being pregnant and don't get me wrong the out come is lovely (even though i am scared), but i hate the changes going on with my body and feel so negative about myself.

I know this doesn't really help, but maybe you won't feel a lone and that it is completely normal to be feeling like this at different times of the pregnancy.

 

[flexilexi394]

I know people are always saying that the hormones have a great part to play, and no matter how alone you might feel, quite a few of us are in the same boat at some point! Im sure it will all pass and everything is ok, but i guess one cant help feeling like shite and feeling a little worthless. amazing how much a womans body has to go through, it just seems like males are nowhere near as challenged physically or emotionally as we are. x

 

[jennilisanne]

I've been feeling really down too over the last couple of weeks. Spent yesterday in bed, and when hubby came home he barely spoke to me, so i cried all night. Only to find at 10pm that he wasn't in the big strop with me like I thought he was!

I'm glad (although not quite teh right word) that I'm not the only one feeling like this, and that it's probably just hormonal. I was such a bitch last week at work shouting at people in meetings (with my bosses just sitting there not wanting to get involved!!).

Fingers crossed we'll be in the happy stage soon!!

 

[flexilexi394]

im intregued to know when the blossoming beautiful glow takes over cos so far, not so good. lol! some people absolutely cant get enough of being pregnant, but quite frankly, id rather be in labour right now rather than about to live another 5 months of this! sorry for the ranting xx

 

[ashtonsmum]

hey i thought id add to this as i felt exactly the same as u but let me reassure you, you will pick up after 13 weeks and onwards your body settles down, as the first few weeks your hormones are crazy, you dont eat as well due to sickness you feel you cant get enough sleep and your body is coping with major changes to breathing, blood etc as they all working twice as hard to get to baby too, so no wonder we all feel tired sick and have no motivation.

but do try keep positive you will have better days your body will start to settle down, especially when u start to feel baby kick sometimes you just wana sit for hours and hold ur belly its amazing, for now get plenty of rest, eats high fibre foods for energy and eat little and often, also lots of water, this does make a difference to your energy levels then give yourself the odd treat to keep happy.

i know its easier said than done i still get my nights i just feel awful but this is my 2nd pregnancy so some days when i watch my son do the cutest things i just remember why its all so worth it.

chin up hun you will pick up soon xxxxxxxxxx

 

[titch]

I was about to crash the 2nd tri to tell you exactly what ashtonsmum just said. It couldve been me writing this when i was at your stage. Partly its hormones but also its such a huge unbelieveable life changing thing. Its totally normal to feel anxious about how your life is going to change. I did! But now Im waiting on the baby arriving and I just cant wait. Ive learned so much through the pregnancy, mostly through this forum. Just as well pregnancy goes on for as long as it does.

I started to feel better in myself by about 15 weeks. I had a good 10-12 weeks then. I was telling everyone how much I loved pregnancy. My bump was small and didnt really restrict me and my hormones were really settled and I didnt have periods

Dont be afraid to just have a good old cry when you need to. You wont feel like this for the whole 9 months, that thought used to make me cry even more back then! And tell your OH that this is unfortunately normal, and you just need lots of support and hugs, and it wont last long

 

[flexilexi394]

I was about to crash the 2nd tri to tell you exactly what ashtonsmum just said. It couldve been me writing this when i was at your stage. Partly its hormones but also its such a huge unbelieveable life changing thing. Its totally normal to feel anxious about how your life is going to change. I did! But now Im waiting on the baby arriving and I just cant wait. Ive learned so much through the pregnancy, mostly through this forum. Just as well pregnancy goes on for as long as it does.

I started to feel better in myself by about 15 weeks. I had a good 10-12 weeks then. I was telling everyone how much I loved pregnancy. My bump was small and didnt really restrict me and my hormones were really settled and I didnt have periods

Dont be afraid to just have a good old cry when you need to. You wont feel like this for the whole 9 months, that thought used to make me cry even more back then! And tell your OH that this is unfortunately normal, and you just need lots of support and hugs, and it wont last long

its good to hear it from someone thats due any day practically!! lol im sure grateful to know that it gets better from a point of view from someone that has felt like that. xx

 

[isobel84]

i had a hard time beginning of sec trim, i think for me it was alot to do with that i didnt "feel" pregnant, i just felt.. nothing.. and everything that was said to me i took to heart. I was so worried about money and OH and where are we gonna live and so on.

I think the last few weeks to, when kicks are regular, bump is big and you know ITS GONNA HAPPEND i feel more ok with everything, We might have to move when baby is only a few weeks old, but atleast we got roof over our head, money is very tight but Noa will be just as loved sleeping in secondhand cot and wearing second hand clothes.
Im still scared but not worried as much as before.. Now its more then real, with hips that are killing, back that are aching and clothes that are way to tight i dont enjoy it, but i love it.

 

[JJ Mum]

This is totally natuarl, you are at the end of the realy rough feeling section of pregnancy and with all the worrys that go with that, along with the added shock of the suprise prnegnancy.

You really will start feeling better, remember to talk about your worjrys, find out as much info as you can in Trimester 2 and reading /posting ahead in Trimester 3, as the more info you have , the more confident you will feel that you know what happens or could happen, and that should help you feel more in control.

Why don't you make a start getting some baby bits, and then you will feel more prepared etc that helps too, or write a list of things that you feel would make you feel better about it all, eg a hospital tour so you see where you might go, or antenatal classes, to talk face to face with others at the same stage, like us, but also to learn all about it etc.

My first was a shock, and I felt it was such a change of life, that I got down and scared too, don't worry, that is all outweighed by that gorgous bundle of joy that you get, and you don't have to give up all of you or your current life, baby only adds to it after!

 

[Stunned]

Oh love it will pass! I had a pretty rough time at abt 14 -16 weeks too. Problems with OH, not 'feeling pregnant', being sick and worrying about finances etc left me feeling quite depressed and thinking "oh s*** what have I done!?" even tho this baby was planned, tried for for 2 yrs and is very much wanted. It was after staying at mums for a bit and having a good cry and long chats, I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It's important to talk about it, either to family or friends or on here and remember you are not alone!

 

[Annie050408]

Hi hon, I think even those of us who have planned the pregnancy and spent hours symptom spotting and fixating on ovulation times and peering at sticks to see the hint of a line have had moments of feeling a bit down in ourselves.

I am generally a very upbeat person and have never really suffered with any depression of any kind but I have found myself bursting into tears for no reason at times and clinging to DH for a feeling of security as I go through so many physical and emotional changes. Then there are the feelings of guilt where you think to yourself 'How can I be feeling down about anything at the moment when so many women would give their right arm to be in my position now?'. I think you need to straighten it out in your own mind that this is the hormones and that it will pass. Eat lots of fruit and food with fibre in it and that alone should help to improve your energy levels.

You'll be fine hon. xx