I am currently 21 weeks pregnant. It was an unplanned pregnancy and I’m all alone - I don’t have family I can rely on, really no friends, and the father said he’s not ready for this and has left me. I’ve had 4 miscarriages in the past, was told I’ll never be able to conceive or carry to term. I’m terrified to lose this baby. The first 12 weeks were terrifying but I made it through despite being really sick. Things haven’t gotten too much better. At 18 weeks I had a partial placental abruption due to a training accident at MMA class. I was put on bed rest for 2 weeks due to contractions, bleeding, and cramping. Since then I’ve started to go back to work (I work as a paramedic) but it’s rough. I have to rest during the shift if it’s slow (which thankfully my manager is good with and I have a phenomenal work partner). After lifting a patient or doing a call, I get really light headed, nauseated, sometimes vomit, and cramp for 1-6 hours after. Until the abruption I was running 3-5 miles daily despite it causing some spotting and cramping (doc said it’s ok). At my appointment last week my obs told me to be as active as possible and to keep working as long as I can. She’s also on leave for 2 months now so I’m seeing another doc until she’s back. I feel like I’m just a big wuss. Taking the dogs for a 20 min walk has me completely wiped out and cramping for up to a day, with bleeding. I can barely do any activity. All day long I’m trying to not throw up. I don’t know how other moms do it. I’ve been very active my entire life - I do lots of cardio, weight lifting, mma, horseback riding, etc. But it’s as if my body is saying no yet my obs is telling me to keep trying. I feel very discouraged