Feeling Discouraged

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Gallop17, Mar 15, 2020.

  1. Gallop17

    Gallop17 Member

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    I am currently 21 weeks pregnant. It was an unplanned pregnancy and I’m all alone - I don’t have family I can rely on, really no friends, and the father said he’s not ready for this and has left me. I’ve had 4 miscarriages in the past, was told I’ll never be able to conceive or carry to term. I’m terrified to lose this baby. The first 12 weeks were terrifying but I made it through despite being really sick. Things haven’t gotten too much better. At 18 weeks I had a partial placental abruption due to a training accident at MMA class. I was put on bed rest for 2 weeks due to contractions, bleeding, and cramping. Since then I’ve started to go back to work (I work as a paramedic) but it’s rough. I have to rest during the shift if it’s slow (which thankfully my manager is good with and I have a phenomenal work partner). After lifting a patient or doing a call, I get really light headed, nauseated, sometimes vomit, and cramp for 1-6 hours after. Until the abruption I was running 3-5 miles daily despite it causing some spotting and cramping (doc said it’s ok). At my appointment last week my obs told me to be as active as possible and to keep working as long as I can. She’s also on leave for 2 months now so I’m seeing another doc until she’s back. I feel like I’m just a big wuss. Taking the dogs for a 20 min walk has me completely wiped out and cramping for up to a day, with bleeding. I can barely do any activity. All day long I’m trying to not throw up. I don’t know how other moms do it. I’ve been very active my entire life - I do lots of cardio, weight lifting, mma, horseback riding, etc. But it’s as if my body is saying no yet my obs is telling me to keep trying. I feel very discouraged
     
  2. WinterWolf

    WinterWolf Well-Known Member

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    Bleeding means you are way overdoing the exercise. If your doctor didnt warn you that bleeding is a sign you might have an abruption if you don't take it easy, I'd get a new doctor. With regards to exercise, you're meant to do whatever your body will let you. "keep active" doesn't mean train for a marathon, it means go on a brisk 30min walk a few times a week. Last pregnancy I went from 2hrs at the gym everyday to nothing at all by about 12 weeks.. by 25 weeks I could barely get through walking around at work let anyone going for a run. Pregnancy is a massive strain on your body. Your doctor even said keep as active AS POSSIBLE. That could just mean a 10min walk around the block everyday if that's all you can manage. I spent literally all of tri 3 on the couch.. My baby was healthy and I got back to being fit afterwards, don't worry about it. You're not a wuss for struggling. Take it easy and if your body is telling you to stop, listen to it xxx
     
  3. Gallop17

    Gallop17 Member

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    thank you! I know bleeding is a major sign to take it easy.. even little walks can do that to me. I was frustrated when I brought it up to my doc and she brushed it off. I get she was feeling super sick and all, but I also know what’s not right (at least somewhat). The other doc I saw briefly after the abruption due to my doc being on holidays (that other doc will be my doc for the next 2 months now), put me on bed rest until the cramping stopped, not just the bleeding. She said if the cramping happens at work she doesn’t want me to work - but my Obs told me to go to work... I’m half anticipating being told in 3 weeks at the next appt that I can’t work anymore
     
  4. WinterWolf

    WinterWolf Well-Known Member

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    Cramping is tricky as it doesn't always mean anything. I had cramps everyday from conception to birth last pregnancy even if I did nothing all day. If you're in a position to stop work, I would. Once you've had one abruption you've got a high risk of another and you've got a long way to go xx
     
  5. Gallop17

    Gallop17 Member

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    At that point she meant cramping from the initial abruption, but she did say if it got worse than just minor cramps that she doesn’t want me working. The cramps at work after heavy lifts are bad enough that it’s noticeable to everyone around me. Sadly part of it is that I need to keep working for an income.. I’m on my own and the father isn’t of any financial support, nor will he ever be. I want to keep baby safe but I also can’t really afford to go off work right now yet
     
  6. Jac2019

    Jac2019 Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry you are having to go through this all on your own without family friends or Other half. I am 21 weeks just now and use to love walking but after 10minutes now I am puffing for breath so take it easy as to me i also had losses and want to get this baby to full term if possible. You have time to exercise and long walks when baby is safe in your arms. Are you due in July / August? I am due July but in August group. Join our August group and we can support you as much as possible. You aren't alone with us. It is daunting time and with your previous worries that is understandable. If you have to work for income I could only recommend stopping the high amounts of exercise and rest between work as much as possible. It will be worth it and when baby is here, they will have you on your feet again all day.
    I just want to say how amazing and strong you are and don't need the babies dad. He will miss out on so much love. :hug: <3 xxx
     
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  7. WinterWolf

    WinterWolf Well-Known Member

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    Oh I'm so sorry the father doesn't want to help. He is missing out though. Children really do bring so much light into your life. If you need to work to survive maybe you can talk to them about going on light duties? I'm not sure what light duties for a paramedic would be but I think they legally need to find a way to accommodate you if your doctor has said so xx
     
  8. Gallop17

    Gallop17 Member

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    I am due in July thank you so much! Right now I’ve been doing next to nothing for exercise. Pretty much just a short (5-10 min) walk with the dogs every other day IF I’m feeling good. Thanks again!
     
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  9. Gallop17

    Gallop17 Member

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    I’m sure they would have to accommodate light duties but my station is one of the outlying ones. So it means I’d have to drive an hour each way to do light duties daily. Plus it would be at a station that isn’t great mentally for me
     
  10. Jac2019

    Jac2019 Well-Known Member

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    That is all you can do I walk the dog that's is about it now but we will be here for you also... Go onto August mummies and join in with us... We will help with worries or just to chat... Xx
     
  11. Jade jones

    Jade jones Well-Known Member

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    couldn't of said it better we all care for each other and look out for each other your more than welcome simply message the group with your due date and blue yellow or pink and i can add you to the main page im due 2nd august x
     
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  12. Rose83

    Rose83 Well-Known Member

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    I’m surprised they are still allowing you out in the field. My cousin is 22 weeks pregnant and is a London paramedic. They put her on desk duties as soon as she told them she was pregnant (10 weeks).
     
  13. WinterWolf

    WinterWolf Well-Known Member

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    Doesn't sound ideal but better than putting yourself at risk by doing physical work. You might have to just suck it up for the sake of both of your heath I'm afraid xx
     
  14. Gallop17

    Gallop17 Member

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    thank you!
     
  15. Gallop17

    Gallop17 Member

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    It’s very different out here. I’m sure if I pushed real hard they’d give me light duties but they’d rather keep me on truck running calls. I’m also the highest level care provider out here, which there aren’t too many of us with that training
     

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