Feel guilty for being so happy!

[x_larlybelle_x]

Not sure if any of uadies remember a post I had in tri 1 about my brother and SIL announcing their pregnancy the day after me (we had been trying 2 and a half years and nearly referred for ivf - they had only been together 5 months when baby was conceived and they had a miscarriage 2 months into their relationship). It really upset me that they announced it the day after me (they day after her missed period so she was very very early on) and felt like they stole my thunder and the attention I should've got and my baby deserved. I was really emotional and totally focussed on me.

I knew deep down all would be fine and neither me or my baby would be left out, so to speak. I know I was being irrational but I was very upset.

After my thoughts about this calmed down, I started hoping that our babies would be different sexes, just so there was some difference between us (she is due only 3 weeks after me). All along, I hoped for a boy and therefore that they were having a girl.

At my 22 week scan, I was told Pip is a boy lol! They had their scan today and was told their baby is a girl

Now I feel guilty! Think it's a combo of me getting what I wanted after them "stealing my thunder" and relief. I know it sounds terrible but now I don't mind their baby is due so soon after mine.

It's such a horrible thing to say but I can't help it. I'm so relieved. Pip will be the only boy out of 3 grandchildren on my side and I feel so happy that although I didnt have the first grandchild (I'm the oldest of 3), I'm having the only boy.

All sounds really petty and stupid but a huge wave of relief washed over me when I got the call from my brother half an hour ago.

Sorry for the rant, dont need replies (especially ones telling me how stupid I sound, I already know, lol!!!!) just needed to say it all xx

 

[BabyBrain]

To be perfectly honest I would feel exactly the same as you. One of my sisters always manages to pee on someone's fire one way or another, whether it's through happy times or impending doom she is determined that all light shines on her.

Some people are just like that. But you know that your Pip is unique in your family being a boy and I would be over the moon too lol.

Don't waste time feeling guilty, am sure they didn't at the time. Just make sure you show everyone all the nice blue bits you buy xxxxxxxxx

 

[l_maclean]

I dont think you sound stupid at all. I was gutted when I found out my SIL was pregnant in the run up to their wedding - a second unplanned child. They already had a girl, and I really wanted them to have another one, even though I knew they wanted a boy, simply because they'd already given my parents their first grandaughter, i wanted one of my kids to be "special" too. (yes i know all kids are special - dont shoot me)

Its daft, but i think its just human nature.

xxx

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

Glad I'm not the only one! Lol! Feels so much better getting it all of my chest

 

[TORino]

I'd feel the same too hun.

It's nice to enjoy the limelight yourself for a little while. You shouldn't feel bad about it.

I am just waiting for my SIL to get pregnant again, though I feel a suitable amount of time has now passed that she won't be stealing my thunder anymore. Lol. But seeing as she already has the first grandchild and it is a little boy... I'd be fibbing if I said I wasn't hoping ours is a girl.

 

[hugsy]

Dont feel quilty at all hun, I would be the exact same, My SIL is always stealing my thunder too, Got engaged 6 weeks after we did ( out of jelousy in my opinion lol) and when we said we were pregnant she started saying oh i cant have kids and making it all about her ( its not true she was never told that she was just being dramatic cos she read on the internet about pcos and endometriotis and decided her self she has one or the other ) made us feel like we couldnt talk about the baby or she would run out of the room crying agin

Pissed me off so much cos I was told I might not be able to and luckly I didnt actually need any help wasnt able to enjoy that miracle cos I would upset her talking about it

Im sure your little boy will be spoilt rotten

 

[CARNAT22]

My sister and sister-in-law (brothers OH) had babies just 5 weeks apart.

Whilst it is lovely for the babies to be so close in age and for my sis and SIL to have had that bond through-out pregnancy, I think they both would have preferred a slightly bigger gap?

It was my sis's 2nd but SIL 1st baby.

Both ended up having boys.... It was an amzing time for us lot having two litlte bubs come along but I think they both secretly would have liked a bigger gap?

The race is now on to give my parents their first granddaughter

 

[Lilelephant]

My sil is 16 weeks and I was gutted when she told us, selfish I know

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

Cheers ladies - made me feel better

 

[Jess1979]

Your not being stupid.

I would have felt the same. In fact im suprised my sil hasnt get pregnant so she can have some attention

 

[hellywelly]

I feel very lucky to be the only one on either side and at work to be expecting so am getting lots of attention and won't lie - it's really nice!!!

But one of my oldest friends of mine tried to organise her wedding for a month after mine even though she got engaged 9 months after me, and it sounds pathetic but I wasnt happy!!! In the end all her venues were booked so she had it 11 months later - karma comes round and bites you on the bum eventually!!!

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

It does feel very much like karma. They "stole my limelight" and now I'm having the first and only grandson

I'm chuffed to bits that our babies can no longer be compared to one another

 

[leannesxb]

I have to agree!!! I would be the same. My SIL stole my thunder and her and my brother never have to struggle for anything!!!! She desperately wanted a girl both times but its a boy again this time. My brother has told her this is the last. I am keeping everything crossed for a girl now!!!! lol. I'm such a bitch.

 

[Zoeox]

I think I would be the same if I was in your situation. I wanted a girl so I could be different from both of my cousins who have babies, but hey ho, I have a healthy little boy in there. x

 

[winnie89]

hey hun i was in exactly the same situation as you my SIL got pregnant a few months before me and i felt like i hated her and i didnt ever want to speak to her and now she's nearly ready to drop (her words not mine) and we're actually closer i've said to her if she ever wants anything she knows where i am and we're having one of each i'm in a better place now than what i was this time last year and we're going to have two beautiful children out of it! dont worry hun you'll appreciate her help when you need it! xxx

 

[Lulabell]

I have a step sister (dads wife's daughter from previous relationship) who seems to do everything I do a few months after me. Altho flattering and prob not intentional, still rather annoying... So now I'm waiting on the "I'm pregnant" announcement. I feel like a bitch for saying it. She is a lovely girl and I will think of her as my child's aunt even tho we are not blood related. I guess it's all part of human nature and we are all entitled to want a bit of limelight once in a while!xx

 

[katietateypot]

I'm the same as the other, i don't think there is anything wrong with what you say or what you felt and still feel!
I think when big things happen in our life we want the limelight for a while and when others take it it can feel as though they are being selfish for stealing it.

When i was pregnant with my first daughter i told a relative of mine pretty early on who didnt seem happy but i then found out she was pregnant, i think it turned into a bit of rivalry, every name i liked she liked ect.... Sadly she lost that bean but the day i found out i was being induced i told the family only to get a call an hour or so later with the announcement she was pregnant, needless to say i was totally annoyed and couldn't see why she couldnt have waited until 2 days later to tell everyone.

BUT then again my cousin announced she was 7 weeks pregnant the week i found out i was pregnant this time around, i wanted to keep it a secret until 12 weeks but ended up in hospital around 5 weeks with a cyst and a lot of pain needing an early scan so some family found out, i felt guilty for taking attention away from my cousin but i really couldn't help the way it came out although i didnt tell cousins and aunties until i was around 10 weeks but my nan has a bit of a blabber mouth so i wouldnt be surprised if they already knew