Guilty

[pinkyprincess]

This is going to sound strange but sometimes I feel guilty about having LO.

My aunt had a miscarrage over Christmas last year, and I fell pregnant in March. She was the hardest person in my family to tell and the one I was dreading, but she took it really well and has been really supportive.

She's 40 and was due to start IVF (paid for by herself) in September. A couple of weeks a go she found out she was pregnant again, but I got a text today saying that she's lost it again (the good thing is the Doc has told her not to have IVF as he's reffering her to a miscarrage specialist.) I feel really guilty as I have a healthy little baby (bar all the probs we had at first) coming, and it all happened to easily and quickly whereas she's had this struggle! I felt like I could actually talk about the baby with her when I found out she was pregnant again whereas I feel bad talking about it when shes not!

She said to me when I initally told her about the baby and that I was worried not to be and that she was happy but I still feel guilty!

 

[ISH]

You are just being a thoughtful, lovely niece I'm sure the fact she is going through these problems is not preventing her from being happy for you!

 

[1986princess]

I know what u mean hun, a girl i work with desperately wanted a baby and it just doesn't seem to be happening so when I found out I was pg I was wary around her. She has asked loads of questions and really takes an interet but I'm mindful not to keep going on about things around her. Must be harder for u with it being it aunt tho, let's hope she gets a baby of her own so everyone Is happy! But don't feel bad about your baby hun, I'm
Sure ur aunt and all ur family are ecstatic for you xx

 

[Lilelephant]

It's a weird feeling when u have probs when someone u care for tells u they r pregnant or they have a baby after my 2nd mc a friend had a baby boy and I remember the overwhelming saddness I had for myself and my two babies that I lost but extreme happiness that my friend had her baby. It's a very odd feeling but I have no doubt she is happy for you, and u should not feel guilty it is not ur fault that she has had problems just be understanding if she seems quiet etc xxx

 

[Princess81]

It must be a tricky situation and theres not much you can do about it is there? Just be sensitive towards her, if she wants to talk about babies then do participate but maybe just try to be subtle? You shouldn't feel guilty though and it's nice that you care so much I hope she has her own wee baby soon x

 

[pinkyprincess]

Just got this text from my aunt -

been in gynae unit for hours and finally had a scan. It all looks normal for my stage/gestation still, so no op until it looks more like a miscarriage. But he said he has seen such heavy bleeding with a healthy baby at the end. So it's a waiting game now... Another scan in a week unless it kicks off more than this between now and then. So slight chance it's ok but more of a chance I have all the hideousness of last time to come yet :-/

So she might not've lost the baby yet!

 

[Lilelephant]

Fx for her x

 

[positivity :)]

everything crossed for her.

i always think about other people now that i'm preggers. i think having been in the ttc section of this forum for so long has been one of the reasons i feel guilt. when i got my bfp i felt a terrible guilt and sadness to be leaving some behind who i know are desperate for their own little ones and will make great mums one day. but even when i'm in the street with my bump im conscious of who is around me and when i speak to ppl at work.

there is a girl in my building at work who miscarried her twins at 5 months, now everytime i bump into her i feel so much guilt. she has never said anything to me about my pregnancy and i find myself even trying to hide my bump in front of her xxx

 

[pinkyprincess]

I'm glad it's not just me! Sometimes think I'm going mad since becoming pregnant!

 

[Lilelephant]

The worse I had was when I went epu at 10 weeks wen I had some bleeding I was talking to a lady in the waiting area she was 6 weeks and she had the same symptoms she lost her bean and mine was ok I didn't know what to say

 

[1986princess]

Fingers crossed all is ok and baby is a sticky for ur aunt Xx

 

[BabyBrain]

everything crossed for your aunt xxxxxxxxxx
We were trying really hard when my sister fell pregnant and nothing happened except cyst after cyst. When she had Theo I went to see him and then cried my eyes out all the way home that he wasn't mine......but that wasn't his fault or my sister's and he's like my little shadow, follows me everywhere. It is an emotional rollercoaster when everyone is falling pregnant and you're not but even my time has come now....sometimes we just have to wait a little bit longer xxxxxxxxxxxx