Why do i feel like this? am i a bad person?

[~*Leanne*~]

last night OH's brother phoned up to tell us his girlfriend is pregnant....they already have a 2 year old. Anyway they said it wasnt planned but me and OH think it was.

It has upset me a bit because OH's parents and grandparents had time to enjoy their 2 year old and now we are expecting i feel like our baby wont get a look in because as soon as our baby is born their's will be due anytime soon after.

We were wanted OH's grandparents to look after our little girl once i return back to work, just like they had done with their 2 year old,but i was soo upset last night that that wasnt going to happen because of their new addition! we cant expect them to look after 3 children!

Anyway OH has spoke to his dad today and he said we have nothing to worry about and they will still look after baby when i go back to work but i cant help but feel a bit upset and mad and feel they are being selfish!

I dont know why im feeling like this, i should be happy our little girl will have a cousin around the same age, but i feel sh*t

am i such a bad person??

 

[Mrs_Jay]

id say its your hormones, wanting your baby to be the center of attention but i think once they're both here youll be really happy that they are a similar age and can play together. wish my brother would have one so my 2 werent on their own

 

[maybebaby]

Removed personal information

 

[xmcnickyx]

You'd hate being me then

My sister is 28 weeks, my sister in law is 4 days ahead of me and our good friends have just found out they're expecting! I am actually made up about it though because it means that Whitey is going to have loads of mates.

I know what you mean about the attention thing though. My in laws don't seem to give much of a toss about Whitey now that my sister in law is pregnant. Haven't seen them since we found out we were pregnant. They live in York and we live in Liverpool but if my son told me I was going to be a granny I'd go and see them and give them hugs. But no. They don't even phone us, my husband has to phone them.

 

[keelie_b]

I agree that maybe your hormones have amplified your emotions.
But i would be exactly the same, this is such a massive time for you and i would also feel like the spotlight was off me and my LO.

Its something that you will have to deal with though so i hope you feel better soon

Big hugs

 

[nori]

Im a bit confused hun.. they have said they will look after your baby when you go back to work but you feel they are being selfish? Blimey my mum and dad have turned round to me and said its your baby you look after it (in much nicer terms) which i do kinda agree with.

I think the others are right when they say your hormones maybe playing up so its not you being a bad person.

Hope you feel better soon,

Claire x

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

no your not a bad person, just hormonal and pregnant. I sort of see where you are coming from though as my cousin is due in july and my uncle's OH is due 2 weeks after me (should probably call her my auntie but I don't like her that much and she's only 2 years older than me!) all the family have been fussing over them and visiting them as they have both had a few problems with their pregnancy's but I don't get a look in! I'm quite a private person so usually it wouldn't bother me but at the moment I think do I not matter anymore? but it is just hormones and I remind myself that they do still care. Don't worry about it all hun, just concentrate on your own little family and you don't need to think about what you will do when you go back to work just yet, worry about that nearer the time. hope your ok

 

[~*Leanne*~]

well now i have had time to calm down i am fine about it, i saw them over the weekend and i am happy for them.....i am just p*ssed off because even OHs parents seem to think she got pregnant just because we are expecting

but tbh i'm just glad my baby will have someone to grow up with

 

[~*Leanne*~]

oh and you said about his parents looking after her when you go back to work ...you wont wanna go back to work

i would LOVE not to have to go back to work, unfortunately work have said that if i take the maternity payment they give (an extra few weeks, cant remember exactly) at 90% pay then i will have to return back to work for at LEAST a year otherwise i have to pay the maternity money back to them plus we wont be able to afford me to be a SAHM although i would love to

 

[~*Leanne*~]

Thanks Mid!

well work have said that, if i remember rightly, you get 6 weeks 90% of your wage and then the rest of the time, up to the 9 months when i will be returning, you get the SMP which is about £112 a week. BUT they said that they will give me an extra 6 weeks at 90% which i know will help us loads BUT if i take this i have to come back to work and work for at least a year!!!!

I havent told them what i am doing yet or when im taking my maternity leave so will have a talk with OH and that

thanks Midna - what would i do without you?

 

[~*Leanne*~]

Thanks Mid!

well work have said that, if i remember rightly, you get 6 weeks 90% of your wage and then the rest of the time, up to the 9 months when i will be returning, you get the SMP which is about £112 a week. BUT they said that they will give me an extra 6 weeks at 90% which i know will help us loads BUT if i take this i have to come back to work and work for at least a year!!!!

I havent told them what i am doing yet or when im taking my maternity leave so will have a talk with OH and that

thanks Midna - what would i do without you?

 

[~*Leanne*~]

Midna i wish i could, i hate the job i am in now and it makes me feel shite knowing i will have to come back to work for a year!!! i will have to have a big long think about it and discuss it with OH

 

[~*Leanne*~]

Will do hun

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I havnt had that happen to me, but i think ive done it too my sister in law i foubnd out she was expecting and i was really jealous and i dunno why! so she annonced she was expecting in may and I was even more upset when i found out she was having a girl! i always wanted to have the first girl! - i was so sad lol.
I planned my pregnancy though and was pregnant by november so the girls are 6 months apart and its brilliant cos we get the hand downs and they adore each other!