Fed up of 'me and I'

[TaffyRose]

Just needed a bit of a rant really. I'm getting really fed up of my OH referring to everything as me or I, is it really too much to ask he see's things as us or we. It might sound really stupid but he can be quite a selfish person by nature and it really gets to me he just thinks of himself rather than us, and soon to be family. It's also silly things like I will ask him to do something and because I've asked he won't deem it that important so won't do it. For example I have asked that the nursery door stay closed to keep our cat out of the room. A simple request you would think, however every morning I have to close the door after he's left it open, I've so far kept my cool but I can see me just losing it at some point as all this is building up.

We had agreed I would change my name to his by the time the baby was born as I didn't want my son to have a different name to me. However at the time he was having quite a few angry outbursts all directed at me (not physically) and I told him one more and the deal was off. He promised faithfully and then like clockwork he went mental at me and I told him I was no longer changing my name. The problem is now I'm against changing my name and with his current selfish attitude it just enforces me to not want to commit if you see what I mean.

It's probably just because I'm tired, etc but it's really getting to me xxx

 

[Xcitedmum]

sorry u are going through this, none of what you are saying is unreasonable at all!

I do however find it strange that you have committed to 'changing' your name to his? Do you mean you are just going to change it or you both intend to get married so that this happens naturally? If it is that you intend to change it with no marriage then I would suggest you rethink! Why can't the child have your name with the promise to change it to OH's surname when you marry?

 

[Jayjay027]

He sounds like he's just trying to wind u up on purpose for some reason.
Why would he keep opening the nursery door? Its not a small thing because u have good reason for wanting it kept closed, and yet he keeps opening it? What for?!
I don't know why, but I do think he's trying to annoy u or to get a reaction.

I have to admit, I also find it strange that u would agree to just change ur name. If I was having a baby with a man who was acting this way, I'd tell him that the baby is having my surname and if he doesn't like it, he better get his act together.


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[CARNAT22]

To be honest hun, changing you name or not isn't going to make a blind bit of difference to the situation!!! Baby is going to be here soon and there are more pressing issues!

I know this is not the first time you have posted here about issues with your OH?

Is he doing anything to tackle his anger?

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Beeble]

*hugs* All this stress can't be good for you but I know where you are coming from with small things not getting done. It is frustrating and really annoying when you find yourself trying hard to get things done and then the OH is not even doing the simple things to make life easier.

My OH is lovely as a person but sometimes I wonder about his ability to actually help me out when I get further along with this pregnancy. I am such a worry and I hate fire hazards, I have asked for days if he could make sure he shuts the kitchen and living room door before bed - does he?...nope. I have asked for help with the housework, he does things like the dishes but doesnt seem to realise that the floors need swept and mopped and the bathroom needs cleaned and bed sheets changed etc...I have asked him so often to use his initiative and help, but no...I still run around the house keeping it clean. Frustrating.

I hope you guys can sort this out, maybe go for a meal or something so you are in a relaxed environment and discuss what is really going on here? It could just be stress and worry manifesting between the two of you causing you to be arguing more and having these problems. Anyway, I hope you get this sorted somehow and work things out with the OH for the babies arrival xx

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Don't nag him about things but don't bottle it all up either. Explode hun - it'll give him the message that your no pushover and he might ease off then.

Don't understand all about the name change tho.