family

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Layla, Feb 22, 2006.

  1. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    i have had an eventful morning!!

    as lots of you know, i fell out with my nan and my older sister back in nov/dec

    we havent spoken since.

    this mornign i get a phone call from them, they both said sorry and wanted to make up coz they have been upset that i havent spoken to them. i figure lifes to short so i agreed and made up.

    and now, im just speaking to my younger sister on msn and everyone (3 sisters, there kids, nan and dad) are going to see my mum!

    the story there is, mum dumped us when we was little, there is alot more to it but id be here all day telling you about it. she now has MS, shes had it for about 120 years and from what i hear she is very ill with it.

    i havent seen her for 18 years, but have now been asked if i want to go with them.

    im not sure what to do! i figure if my sisters can go then maybe i should, but then the stubbon part of me says, remember what she was like!

    she doesnt know about my kids so i guess it would be nice for her to see them, plus even tho i havetn seen her for so long, she has always sent birthday and xmas cards for me, she didnt forget one!

    what would you lot do, im so confused!
     
  2. MrsG

    MrsG Well-Known Member

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    Hi Layla,

    Well I cant believe I am saying this as I havent seen my own dad for over three years now, but they say life is too short.

    I would say go for a visit with the rest of the family, without your children this time and then see how you feel when you are there. if you feel ok with it and want to see her again you can then introduce your kids to her gradually. if you decide that too much has past and you really cannot have a relationship with her again, your kids are non the wiser and therefore not hurt etc/ wont ask for her etc.

    maybe it would be easier if you are all going together, there no one on one pressure.

    Good luck in whatever you decide.
     
  3. rach

    rach Well-Known Member

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    hun its up to you nobody can tell you what to do here but maybe its gone on long enough now and you need to give her a chance to make ammends i dont know the full story obviously but if your feeling unsure about it all why not give it a go and see what happens good luck with whatever you decide im sure everyone will agree that we are all here for you if you need to talk xxxxx
     
  4. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

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    Different circumstances completely, but..... I was adopted at 5 weeks old. My birth mother was 19 and not with my biological father and not maternal in the least. I was adopted by a fantastic couple, and then 18 months later, they adopted my brother. The 4 of us are extremely close, my mum is my best mate, my dad is the one who knows the answers to any question I ask him, and my brother is who I go to to cheer me up.

    Anyway, I ramble...

    My point is that although I have this fantastic family, I still feel there is something missing occassionally. I have to admit to shedding a tear on New Years Day when I got my BFP that my biological mother is out there somewhere (hopefully) and has no idea that she already has one grandchild and another on the way. She is missing out on so much. I have tried to find her on many occasions, but never successful.

    I don't hate or blame her for giving me up for adoption, I would just like to meet her and give her the opportunity to get to know her grandkids. Does that make sense that I am telling you this? I'm not 100% sure what my point is really, except that you have a mother out there who is ill, will you not regret it if you leave it too late to see her? Tell me to butt out and mind my own business if you like as I don't know the reason you fell out, but I feel life is far too short.
     

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