Family :S

[minxies]

Really starting to feel like this baby or pregnancy isnt mine? or that i have any say in it!

my OH and all his family and all my family dont want me to find out what we're having, BUT I WANT TO! there all literally bullying me! sitting me down and giving me 20 minute lectures on how its better for it to be a surprise and how there so glad they didnt find out! 'well good for you that was ur baby and you didnt find out' this is mine so surely its my choice!

and i know if i did find out they wouldnt be happy but more look at me as if id just punched and old lady or something!

then the labour .. thinking of maybe having an epidural im not sure yet but my pain thresh hold is zilch and i want to enjoy it ... 'oh no tash you cant have an epidural' you have to feel it all , it all has to be natural'!

breast feeding! you have to do it for at least the first 6-9months ... (OH would want me to do it till it was 3!) okay well i will try breastfeeding and see how i get on 'no thats not good enough you have to do it and keep trying!

i just literally wanna scream! this is my baby! im the one carrying it! the one going through the aches and pains and still throwing up every morning! surely its my decision and they should jsut respect it either way?

urgh rant over sorry girls xx


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[nikki8092]

Totally agree with you hun, i have always brought my babies into the world how i wanted to. Me and hubby didnt find out what first 2 were but did with number 3 and it seems people are dissapointed with us finding out.. As for feeding, play it by ear, BF isnt for everyone so give it a go and see how you feel. My MIL is trying to get us to change our new babys name as she doesnt like it and keeps going on about other names. Take it all with a pinch of salt hun xx

 

[minxies]

thank you nikki oh names is another thing, almost everything i like they cringe at ... just got to try and ignore them. when i comes down to it it'll be my decision xx

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[nikki8092]

Yeah when we told MIL what we are calling baby she looked at me as if i had just trodden dog poo through her house lol, she then tried to convince hubby of another name. Cant please everyone so you should just please yourselves! x

 

[winnie89]

Oh hun I wouldn't worry about any of it, it's ur life and ur baby I was told by my MIL that she wanted to be in the delivery room with me and hubby and I was like as much as I love u mel I don't want u seeing all my lady bits then hubby started on how he wanted to hold the baby first and feed him first and I was like it's my bloody body I've got to bloody give birth to this LO and u wanna take away my first special moment with my son no way in hell is that ever gonna happen and hpw can u feed him first if I'm gonna BF??

 

[Bee7]

Minxies! So pleased to see you here

Sorry to hear you're having a stressful time. Have you tried sitting your OH down and having a chat with him. I'm sure his family mean well but it must be very overbearing being told what to do all the time. Politely remind them that this is your pregnancy and your baby. You don't want to offend them but you need to be firm or they'll be like this when baby arrives too. xxxxx

 

[Lulabell]

Your choice hun. Don't listen to them. Be open to listening to their advice, but don't accept their bullying. This is your experience and your baby! And if you want to find out, then do it!xxx

 

[Mrs.s]

Just stand by your decisions! My inlaws were like this they didn't want us to find out but they soon learnt that it's my body an I do what I want! As for epidural MIL made a big deal about it and to be fair I actually didn't want it but ended up needing after 3days of labour then being induced on the third day because I wasn't progressing! And breastfeeding is not something you can decide until you try it!!

 

[minxies]

thanks girls... i felt a bit unreasonable as i know there only trying to help but its just like im being told and not advised?
aw winnie i wouldnt have that either, haha i dont really want any one im planning to see again down that end when im giving birth lol.

thank you bee its good to be here xx

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[mustard]

Aww I know exactly what you mean. I have taken to listening politely to everybodies opinions and then doing exactly what I want anyway (the only person's opinions I have taken any notice of are my hubby, because it is his baby too). I don't discuss any decisions we make with anyone (OH is sworn to secrecy over our possible name choices) and we didn't tell anyone that we were going to find out the sex until after we had found out.

 

[JoS]

Families can be such a pain! I think Mustard is right, I do the same listen politely and then do what I want. But its still so frustrating Minxies I can relate to what you said. I have 2 very opinonated sisters in law, who constantly tell me what I should be doing (neither of which have children!). One of them told me that I shouldn't have stop going to the gym when I was being sick as it would help to keep my weight down in pregnancy! I was feeling so sick I was in bed by 7 every night not running on a bloody treadmill!
I've also been told how I need to breastfed, give birth and even a long list of names I can't have as they might want them one day! That one I did argue with, my baby, my name choice!
I know I'm ignoring all there 'advice' now but I can't help laughing as I think that once baby is here and I've had 2 hours sleep I'll probabley rip their heads off if they try and be 'helpful'!
Sorry for the rant, didn't mean to take over from your rant!!

 

[TaffyRose]

Don't you just love how everyone loves to give you their opinion when they find out you're pregnant. Only 3 people know I'm pregnant because we're waiting until the 12 week scan and thankfully they know me well enough not to push their views on me, but my SIL is also pregnant and everyone knows and she's getting it full force. She's been really poorly with hyperemesis and for some reason people thought it would be helpful to tell her all their horror stories. I've made it clear to my OH that although I appreciate people want to help decisions we make will be our decision no one elses and they can like it or lump it xxx

 

[l_maclean]

:Hugs:

That doesnt sound like fun. Maybe you should sit ur OH down and explain how all of this is making you feel. I guess with some bits he is entitled to put his view forward (not so much the bits about ur body) - but like with knowing the sex - but then you need to come to to an agreement that you both stick to - there's not really a compromise in the middle.

Families on the other hand are another matter - yes ok everyone has an opinion, but they def should not be bullying you about things, and ur OH should be making sure of that. you dont need to be getting stressed out.

Be blunt with him.
xxx

 

[setdse]

ignore them hun! i think everyone goes through this! i had a lot of people trying to talk me out of the name dylan and yet when he was born they were all like "oh i love the name" and i chose not to breastfeed mainly because he had no sucking reflex and i didnt want to express and he was in scbu. Im actually really glad i bottle feed. yes its more expensive and yes its more hassle with bottles etc but my oh gets the bonding time and all the family and if i wanted to go for a nap the oh could take over and it wasnt any hassle.

Stick to what you want! this is your baby not your mil's.

 

[setdse]

Just stand by your decisions! My inlaws were like this they didn't want us to find out but they soon learnt that it's my body an I do what I want! As for epidural MIL made a big deal about it and to be fair I actually didn't want it but ended up needing after 3days of labour then being induced on the third day because I wasn't progressing! And breastfeeding is not something you can decide until you try it!!

Mrs.S!!!! Omg! i didnt know you were pregnant again! congratulations! wow its weird to tink we were having our babies at the same time last time!

 

[natashateale]

I say ignore them hun
I found out with my LO and it was so much better, we got more and more excited because we could go out and by dresses and skirts, pinks and purples. Also decorating, you dont have to stick to neutral colours if you didnt want to. It adds to the excitement i think finding out. And its still a suprise just a few weeks earlier.

Hope all is well hun
xxx

 

[minxies]

I say ignore them hun
I found out with my LO and it was so much better, we got more and more excited because we could go out and by dresses and skirts, pinks and purples. Also decorating, you dont have to stick to neutral colours if you didnt want to. It adds to the excitement i think finding out. And its still a suprise just a few weeks earlier.

Hope all is well hun
xxx

Thanks hun i totally agree! u can buy for the gender and pick a name and they get there own identity ... i really think i will find out :S lol

everything is good hun .. pregnancy had been not the best experience lol still got bad sickness and everything else. but i am so excited and just cant wait for me next scan

hope everything is good with you hunni xx

 

[natashateale]

When is your next scan?
I hated being pregnant but its all worth it. I was sick all the way throughbut had a fab labour so hopefully fingers crossed so will you

I am ok, we have stopped trying for abit technically but really were are just trying not to around OV as we would still love another but we cant be doing with all the stress of it. We have been trying for coming up to 9months so we just want to relax about it and get xmas over with.
xx

 

[minxies]

When is your next scan?
I hated being pregnant but its all worth it. I was sick all the way throughbut had a fab labour so hopefully fingers crossed so will you

I am ok, we have stopped trying for abit technically but really were are just trying not to around OV as we would still love another but we cant be doing with all the stress of it. We have been trying for coming up to 9months so we just want to relax about it and get xmas over with.
xx

AW that sounds like a good idea rest for a bit and see what happens ..

next scan is the 19th of december and i think i have actually persuaded scot to let us find out wooo!!! xxx

 

[angie84]

My mother in law is a nightmare.
My hubby is her baby!
SHE dosnt want to find out the sex of the baby
SHE wants to buy the baby cot
SHE wants a copy of every scan photo
SHE wants me to brest feed (was planning on doing but i hate being told what to do)
for the last few yrs she has been way to involved in our lives (long story)
im just gonna flip and say bk off, its my child i will do what i want.