Starting to doubt finding out the sex..

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Em91, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. Em91

    Em91 Well-Known Member

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    Hello, Just looking for your opinions really. :)

    From the start of this pregnancy i've been desperate to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. Now i'm getting closer to my 20wk scan in 4 weeks i'm actually starting to doubt if i want to know.

    On one hand i want to start calling the baby by it's name and feel prepared buying things in the right colours etc...
    Now i've started thinking but actually wouldn't it be such a lovely thing to wait and find out when the babys born.

    My OH isn't really fussed either way, he says it's up to me.. My family are pretty torn some think i should find out some not..

    Know i have a month to decide just wandered what you had all based your decision to find out/not on? & if you've had other children do you regret finding out etc.. .

    x
     
    #1 Em91, Feb 15, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2012
  2. Kirsty.Y.84

    Kirsty.Y.84 Well-Known Member

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    We are staying team yellow. For us, it's all about the surprise when baby is born. I like surprises, and the wait just makes it even more special!
    Plus, if I knew the sex, I would have bought soo much stuff by now, whereas I have bought almost nothing so far, and will only buy the things we need.

    Also, if you know the sex you tend to buy everything in boy or girl colours and nothing unisex, which means they can't be used for next baby if next one is nt the same sex.

    Of course there are perks to finding out, like you say, being able to say he or she! But for us, those were the reasons we have chosen not to find out :) x x
     
  3. Loula

    Loula Well-Known Member

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    I think its a decision you make on thw day as i ummed and arred for a couple fo days before.
    I found out so i could be more organised get her what she needed and start looking at names, thinking boys and girls names wasnt getting me anywhere. It is true you do tend to go for either girls or boys clothes once you find out dnt think my LO has got anything unisex yet apart from a hooded towel whch is grey.
    Hope you figure it all out xxx
     
  4. x_larlybelle_x

    x_larlybelle_x Well-Known Member

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    When we found out we were pregnant, DH said from the start he wanted to know. I wasn't sure and t took me a while to think about it. In the end, I decided I wanted to know. I feel it has helped me bond with baby a bit better, not that I wouldn't've done if I didn't know, but it has helped me come to terms with it a bit more. I'm also one of those people that has to plan and be prepared! I hate all the neutral stuff, I find it so boring!

    I'm glad I did find out, it has helped us sort his nursery, buy clothes, pick a name (we only had a girls name and couldn't think of a boys name we both liked) and get prepared for the little man arriving in our world.

    Ultimately, u r the only one who can make the decision, and u can leave it right up until u go into the scan to decide.
     
    #4 x_larlybelle_x, Feb 15, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2012
  5. hellywelly

    hellywelly Well-Known Member

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    We have decided to stay team yellow. My husband loves surprises and I suppose I wasn't bothered either way when I first got pregnant, but now we are so pleased we decided not to find out, as we are getting sooooo excited for when baby arrives. Lots of our friends have also said they are excited as well as most people find out nowadays so it's all a bit of a foregone conclusion! Even the midwife seems chuffed we don't know!!

    I won't lie, it is getting VERY boring only buying beige and white stuff, but we have managed to decorate the nursery with all nice neutral but bright stuff and I'm really pleased with it. Also, the name thing has been difficult - we are seriously struggling to agree on anything, but I have to say, I think even if we knew the sex we would still be stuck as we just can't agree on ANYTHING, male or female!

    I would argue strongly against people who say you don't bond as well when you don't know the sex - that's rubbish (not that anyone has said that on here!) - women didn't know for hundreds of years before scans were invented and it never hurt them! The only thing I would say is that if you have a real preference for one sex or the other it might be a good idea to find out in order to give yourself time to prepare if it isn't the outcome you hoped for. Also if you love to be well prepared then it is an advantage to know!

    I'm sure the next 4 weeks will fly by and by the time your scan arrives you'll have made up your mind what to do! Good luck. xxx
     
  6. leesey

    leesey Well-Known Member

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    We are staying team yellow, although I can totally understand why people would want to know. I'd say the worst thing about not finding out will be whittling down the names, we have at least ten for each and can't agree on anything!! We'd be much more decisive if we knew what flavour it was, but I'm really excited about finding out once the baby's born.

    I do actually refer to the baby as 'he' but wouldn't care a jot if it was a girl after all that :) We just want a happy healthy baby, we won't be sticking to gender stereotypes anyway so if we buy jeans and trainers then our wee girl could wear them too!

    I think it's easier when the whole family is on board with not finding out, so there's no one leading you astray!! xx
     
  7. Lou12

    Lou12 Well-Known Member

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    Personally I've always wanted to find out what we're having. Even before we started trying for a baby! It's not really so we can buy more stuff, and I still want to do the nursery in neutral colours - I just really want to find out.
     
  8. lyndsey_28

    lyndsey_28 Well-Known Member

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    with my 1st baby you couldnt find out, so i spent money on neutrals etc then it cost me a fortune after as iwanted lots of blue boy things instaed of neutrals all though for 1st baby i didnt want to know anyway as i was not fussed, 2nd baby i wanted to know but they couldn tell me as he was hiding, and did exactly the same as 1st all neutrals then spent loads after...this time i know im having a boy and feel so much more organised and excited that i can actually boy blue things and boys clothes and i cant wait for him to here to put him all this lovely stuff :)

    i think you will be excited either way, for me it was about being organised adn able to buy for the right sex as i find most neutrals boring :) xx
     
  9. tinkerbell86

    tinkerbell86 Well-Known Member

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    With my ds we stayed team yellow and the surprise was fantastic! But now I'm pregnant again until we can afford to move or maybe do a loft conversion they will have to share a room and I want to really decorate before baby is here. But we are still unsure whether to find out but I would like to I think!
     
  10. TaffyRose

    TaffyRose Well-Known Member

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    It is completely up to you hun, to start with I wanted to stay team yellow and my OH agreed. But after the 12 week scan we both started to change our mind. I have quite a bit of neutral clothing and intended on decorating the nursery in quite neutral colours anyway as I'm not really a 'blue or pink' person but I must admit it is so nice to buy little boy outfits. We haven't told that many people we know the sex so for most it'll be a surprise on the day and are keeping names secret. I think you'll know what you want to do when you get into the scan xxx
     
  11. x_larlybelle_x

    x_larlybelle_x Well-Known Member

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    This was another reason I decided I wanted to know. Both our families have a long history of girls being first born (7 generations on my side and 6 on DH's). Pip is our first. I was therefore expecting him to be a girl, but both DH and I really really wanted a boy. My younger brother has a daughter with another daughter on the way, so it still carries on to our generation.

    I would've been happy if he was a girl, but I'm over the moon he is a boy. If I hadn't've found out I think I would've been a bit disappointed when he was born. I know this sounds really bad!
     
    #11 x_larlybelle_x, Feb 16, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2012
  12. Karate Kid

    Karate Kid Well-Known Member

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    Hubby and I are staying team yellow we are so excited about labour day and finding out about the sex of our baby. I feel it will be something for me to look forward to and focus on during labour. As adults we don't get many suprises in life and this definately has to be top of the list.... We would like to have more than one child if possible so the neutral things can be re-used regardless.

    My SIL has had two children said they bought enough neutral clothing to last them through the first month but didn't end up using alot of it because of all the gender specific clothing gifts they recieved (we have big families), so she advised me not to go overboard and some of the newborn things they bought didn't fit as he was a big baby.

    Like Hellywelly said I would disagree with people saying you don't bond as well when you don't know the sex, I am already in awe and wonder of this little baby growing inside me and I am very much in love.

    You and your OH have enough time to figure out if you would like to know or not hun. It's a completely personal choice and your OH will be happy either way..... you could always get the sonographer to write the sex down and hand it to you if you are still unsure on the day xx
     
    #12 Karate Kid, Feb 16, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2012
  13. EmmaN27

    EmmaN27 Well-Known Member

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    We are going to find out as we would like to plan and buy the right colour stuff (not a fan of neutral clothes) and also so we can decide on a name. I understand that some people like to leave it as a surprise on the day, but for me, I don't know how much more excitement it would add to the day as it will be super exciting to meet our baby for the first time anyway seeing what he/she looks like. See how you feel at the scan and go with your gut feeling. x
     
  14. FirstBabyEek

    FirstBabyEek Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    I found out purely because I am nosey and I'm also a planner, I have been all my life. I like to be organised. I also was convinced from day one that I was having a girl, I mean I would have bet my house on it I was that sure. So to find out it was a little boy was a surprise, definitely not a disappointment however.

    I had been calling Pickle 'she' for a few weeks as I don’t really like 'it' (personal pref) and I think I would have continued to have grown attached to the feeling that it was a girl, so if I had left it to delivery to find out for sure and had a boy I think I may have been more disappointment.

    Don’t get me wrong, any disappointment wouldn’t have lasted as I would love Pickle very much whatever, but I personally would hate anything to detract from the magic of his arrival, no matter how small.

    Its completely your choice and I admire those that have the will power and discipline to hold out finding out until their LO is born, its just not a gift that I was blessed with :)
    xx
     
  15. Daydreaming

    Daydreaming Well-Known Member

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    We're team yellow - but it is down to you at the end of the day.

    We are going to buy minimal baby clothes before Sausage comes and then go wild!
    Just means a neutral nursery and neutral pushchair for now.

    I think the day the scan comes is the day you know if you want to find out or not. For us it was a non-issue but I've heard many others get there and suddenly change their mind once they are in that room!
     
  16. Butterflykisses

    Butterflykisses Well-Known Member

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    I was really indecisive about whether to find out. I said to DH one night "You have 9 days to decide whether we are finding out whether we're having boy or girl" He told me I had 9 days to decide. He was going to be happy as long as baby was ok and developed properly. It wasn't until basically the day before the scan that I decided I would like to know. It's exciting buying blue stuff now instead of neutral. Although I'm still not going overboard as I know how many clothes I will get as presents for LO. I just can't wait to see him now and that will keep me going through labour.
     
  17. Kirsty.Y.84

    Kirsty.Y.84 Well-Known Member

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    I hate neutral clothes, but don't want to k ow the sex so I am literally going to buy the basics until baby is here.

    Its handy not knowing when it comes to buying things like buggy and nursery stuff as i really want a nursery full of bright colours and not just pink or blue.

    xx
     
  18. Em91

    Em91 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for all your replies :) I am so torn. But like everyone says we have plenty of time to decide yet :) xx
     
  19. kanga86

    kanga86 Well-Known Member

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    This sounds like me just a few weeks ago, I was really doubting my decision to find out or not. In the end I got to the scan still unsure, had the sonographer ask me if we wanted to know and I said ask me again in a bit. She asked at the end and I still wasn't sure but got her to look and not say. Then just as we were leaving the room I asked her to tell me :)

    I don't regret my decision to find out at all, in fact I'm am so excited to be able to say my lil boy, my son and hear my sister say nephew :love: But I think next time we will stay team yellow as I think the excitement to find out at the birth would be so amazing too, if not better :)

    I also am glad we found out because money is really really tight with getting married in 2 weeks, that knowing the sex will help us get a little bit organised, plus we have family who are willing to give us stuff from their babies xx
     
  20. Em91

    Em91 Well-Known Member

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    We've decided after much conversation we are going to stay team yellow, and wait for the suprise :) there's so many pros and cons to both. In the long run we decided we want to wait. (hard as it will be because i will just want to go, is it a boy or a girl?!!) But certainly going to try ;)

    Thanks for all your replies, you really helped me to see both sides :) x
     

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