breezee1984 said:
I have to say I'm still really concerned about the way information is being presented to you. My GP agreed with me that my odds of keeping this pregnancy were about 60% - the same as you suggest. BUT that was for THIS pregnancy not a end percentage of ever having a child. For other reasons I know TRYING to concieve is not for me, it's one thing to come off the pill but that's it, because of age and general likelyhood the chances of a second pregnancy aren't great either, after all it was a year before I conceived this time!
But here's the thing - if you start with the same odds as me for a pregnancy, you also have time on your side, time for them to figure out what's happening, time for your own body to change (getting fitter etc?), more to the point time for a further pregnancy.
I used to work on a stud farm (horses), we dealt with making baby horses on demand - only nature doesn't work that way! In MOST cases we had to help nature by using hormones on the mare, altering the sperm (adding food and antibiotic to the sperm to prolong sperm life) BUT sometimes the answer was to send the mare back and suggest owners forgot about it for a year or two. that last solution OFTEN worked. The mare would mature a little more, fully adult but add in maturity and mares can calm down alot and cycle better. That was what I was talking to the midwife about and she said most ALL of the things I remember we did with horses are done successfully with people.
You obviously concieve fairly easily, at least in comparison to those who need alot of help getting that far - perhaps your body works a little too well in that respect, meaning more of your eggs are given a chance (albeit a slimmer one) than some women's? Who knows but these are things you need time to talk about accurately and openly with someone who can give you information in a usable form.
Giving yourself a year off, your body chance to recover and keep changing (I'm in my late 30's but my body still matures), take the pressure off yourself to succeed, enjoy your partner and the value in what you have, be ABLE to take what happens as it comes without feeling like all is lost are all VERY hard tasks but all significant in seeing the future in a more positive light.
I am in no way trying to pretend I understand the grief for a lost pregnancy - I DON'T but I'm listening to what you say and how YOU feel and about how you feel regarding continuing to try.
What I pick up on is that right now you want to stop, but you're upset not just over what's happened but also with what that might mean in the future - is that right? Unfortunately for all of us the future is something which may hold grief, but it holds wonderful things too and being able to keep hold of the good times is just about the only way to get through the rough.
I do know what it's like to live with a dangling sword over things people take for granted and although I never imagined I'd get to the place where I could say this; while I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I also wouldn't trade it with anyone because it has taught me to open my eyes and see life differently. Something I believe is uniquely precious.