Emotional Wreck Right Now!

[PeanutButter]

Well today my Girl cousin had her first baby, and this im not bothered by, well Im jealous obviously. She has alot of problems and doctors gave her a 40-50% of the pregnancy going smoothly and dont get me wrong im so glad it did! She lives with her BF with my aunt her mom.

Now we come to my Boy cousin and his GF who also lives with my aunt his mom (same aunt)... They had a baby which was an accident in April, shes lovely! Today I found out that his GF is pregnant again and she is due on 9th June 2016 which was my due date before my M/C. This baby was planned because my girl cousin was pregnant and my boy cousins GF was no longer centre of attention, you might think im being abit dramatic, but seriously this is the only reason. Shes always talking about not having a life already with the baby she has, so why have another? When ever anybody talked about my girl cousin she'd always make a dramatic scene and walk out so people will run after her. So thats the person she is.
They all live in a tiny home, with 3 bedrooms, a massive dog and another normal dog... So theres my aunt and uncle, Girl cousin and her bf and new baby, boy cousin and his gf baby and one on the way, there is also my 2 other cousin who live there who are younger. So 10 not including the one on the way, so why would you plan another baby while living like that (no offence just dont understand). My girl cousin has to live with my aunt as she needs help with the baby and her bf also has alot of learning disabilities.
I don't mean to sound so bitchy or anything, im just upset, we have everything, we are married, have a fairly large house with a spare room, we're financially stable, yet i'm the one that had to have the M/C I mean i dont want that to happen to anyone!! It's just so unfair. I finally got over it and wasn't angry anymore and as soon as I did i got hit in the face with the news shes due on the same day i was supposed to be. Just spent the last 5 mins crying, I feel bad for feeling so angry thats she has that due date, i know it cant be helped. I hope you won't judge me by this, just needed to vent a little.

 

[Rhelen91]

Aww no, peanut, you're bound to be upset. It is always hard when you're ttc and desperate for a baby to see other people getting pregnant. Just take a deep breath and deal with it all when you're ready. It will happen for you! xx

 

[J9nine]

Oh that sucks. Sounds like a really difficult situation for your aunt, she must be tearing her hair out with all those bodies to look after!!
The jealousy thing is something I'm struggling with too. My best friend is pregnant and I'm super happy for her esp as she miscarried earlier this year. I still find it really hard though as I keep thinking when will it be my turn. I know I've not been trying for long but I'm 36.5 and very conscious that time is running out.
Anyway, I've got off the point. Like Rhelen said, your time WILL come, just try to stay positive and not dwell on it xx

 

[J9nine]

Ps I love this fiorum. Seems weird that you can share your emotions with random strangers but it's lovely to know that there are people out there that listen and give E-hugs! x

 

[fairyprincess]

*hugs* easier said than done but just let them get on with it hun. You know when you get that BFP you'll be 10 times a better Mum x

 

[MrsS15]

I really feel for you PB. I had a similar thing on Sunday with my SIL (wrote it all out in my ttc journal) and I cried for about 2 days. I beat myself up so badly for feeling the way I did so it's reassuring we all have feelings like this at times. I find it really hard to accept that we have everything and more to offer a baby yet we m/c and aren't pregnant. Yet people in pretty shit circumstances fall pregnant so easily and get their take home baby! It is making me very bitter!

Also, I cannot fathom where all those people are sleeping? That just sounds like chaos. Sounds like your aunt needs to be putting the son and GF out. Having a second in those circumstances is just irresponsible. If they're big enough to make babies they should be big enough to go get their own place! Madness xx

 

[PeanutButter]

It is chaos! We go round for xmas parties every year... The house is tiny as in you can only fit 2 sofas and a table in the living room and the telly had to be hung on the wall...Went round, now with the baby stuff really cant move at all lol! They've been offered alot of places to move into from council but turn then down, because they dont pay for anything living with my aunt, like she buys everything even the babies stuff...I found out last night that even my girl cousin is looking into moving out, but they'd need to move into assisted living and the baby need to sit up by herself for them to move out, because she only has control of one arm/hand shes got Cerebral Palsy and epilepsy... But im actually really proud of them for doing it! She 2 years younger then me and basically spend everyday together growing up, it is a really big step for them, and that has cheered me up lol!
It's just like everytime I go on facebook someone else is announcing that they're pregnant, and to top it all off no one actually understands how much its hurs after having a M/C ...Yesterday my brother called me and told me she was pregnant, then said shes due on the 9th june i was like oh...he then said when was you due i replied, the 9th june he said 'devod' (devastated). Which i was like wtf and so was hubby, he got really angry saying no one should say stuff like that! But my brother really isnt the caring type, when i was at the EPU and they said something might be wrong, he said 'how'd you feel if something was wrong with your baby and her baby turned out fine. You'd be devod' (her referring to my cousin who had a really low chance of pregnancy lasting. And my mom wasn't really caring didn't even call me, just a text while in hospital saying sorry... Anyway, after sleeping I feel loads better, still obviously pissed off but at least im not crying anymore! I know it'll happen one day just wish sooner rather then later!

 

[J9nine]

I read this on a website that I am clinging on to. I think it is probably slightly different if you are older (like me) but I am sure that the odds are still fairly good.

38 percent were pregnant after 1 month.
68 percent were pregnant after 3 months.
81 percent were pregnant after 6 months.
92 percent were pregnant after 12 months.

If the % is that 92% of women will be pregnant after 12 months of trying there is a very very good chance that it will work out for us xx

 

[Eryinera]

It's hard gun. My cousin had the same due date as my first mc and it was hard I was so pleased as she was told she couldn't have kids but at the same time I was like why that date!