edinburgh scale

[leanne1b]

Hi,
I posted the other day about PND. I was looking it up online to see if reading about it made me feel better, and I found the edinbrgh scale test on DirectGov. It is a scale made of 10 questions, with results ranging from 0-30. It says if a score is higher than 10 you are likely to develop PND, and above 13 is probably have it..
I have a GP appointment tomorrow made for me by the MW about PND, it's just, my score was 26. Now I'm scared to tell the GP the truth incase he thinks I can't manage my children and I'm scared they will try to intervene? I have no negative thoughts towards either of my children, but am worried to be honest
Im sorry for this. It's just I find it really hard to talk about this with people who know me if that makes sense
x

 

[Toonlass]

Hey hun, I also always score very high on this test but it's not suprising as I have a long history of depression. I think you should deffinatley seek help from your HV or doctor. Don't e ashamed of how your feeling, it's very common and with the right help you can and will overcome it. Let me know how you get on and if you ever need a chat or a rant I'm always here xx

 

[Toonlass]

Oh and I forgot to add that no one will intervene with your children unless your a danger to them which your clearly not. Last year my OH had to call a crisis team out to come see me because I was so bad and there was never any mention of intervention. As long as you are taking good care of your children they won't bother you in that respect xx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

i've never spoke to anyone (doctors or anything) about how i feel, but just wanted to say toon's a wise old bird and speaks a lots of sense (she's gona kill me for that haha!) i hope you get on well at the doctors xxxxx

 

[Toonlass]

Oi wenchy, less of the old!! xx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

how does ancient sound?? *hides*

 

[Toonlass]

Ggrrrrrrr!!! Lol xx

 

[leanne1b]

Hi,
Thanks to u both for your replies. I had Doctor today.. and basically feel worse than I did before. I got there and couldnt get my words out,and just spoke about my anxiety being a lot worse and crying a lot etc. I had a list of things but nothing could come out. He asked if I was eating/sleeping, and said he could see I was a bit unhappy, but he didn't think I was depressed. To which I burst out crying, which he was clearly uncomfortable with, and just said don't worry, depression isn't an illness. He then gave me a questionnaire (basically the scale) and said fill it out in reception, leave it out there and he'd phone me later.
I just feel really stupid, I feel like everything is in my head now. I know I always put on a front, I hate crying, I hate talking about feelings and stuff, but now I feel like I should just be able to snap out of it as if I can put on a front can't I just make myself normal?
My sister and bf keep telling me to go out somewhere to try an act normal and maybe it will help, but they don't understand, I don't want to. I can't do it. I can't even explain why so how can they understand. I just want to cry all the time. I've cried about 6 times since half 5, and I don't really know why about any of them.
I just so want to be happy. I go back to uni in 5 weeks and its killing me that as much as I feel overwhelming love when I look at my baby, I'm just so unhappy. I want to value this time and enjoy it, not remember it like this x

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

oh hun i'm exactly the same with talking about feelings and stuff! i just cant do it! did your doctor ring you back? have you thought about writing everything down so you can just hand it over and you dont have to actually say anything? well done for making the first step and actually going to the docs tho, i cant even get that far xxxx

 

[Toonlass]

Oh dear! Your doctor should have realised you were upset and offered you more help. I must admit I get more help from my HV than my doc xx

 

[FebMum2Be]

You have took the biggest step hun, just going there was HUGE! Well done I think writing the things down is a great idea.. Have you made another app? xxx

 

[leanne1b]

No, he never phoned back. My f suggested the writing down thing too actually, so think I might try and do that tonight and give it to the MW who is coming again tomorrow.
The HV turned up today too...
She said she'd basically be surprised if it was depression because my baby is only 11 days old and said its not until 5-6 weeks really. Now I kind of feel like its all in my head and that I'm just exaggerating, or that this is normal and I'm just taking it worse than others. I just wish I could explain myself. I hate myself for this. I just want to be normal or for them to understand me, but I, I don't know what I'm trying to say.
x

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Oh hun I can't believe your hv said that!! If you get chance, write it all down for your mw tomorrow! I've not gpt much time now, but il come write a proper reply later!!

 

[Toonlass]

At 11 days PN it could well be baby blues but I honestly think it's leaning more towards PND from what you have said. Xx

 

[titch]

hun, its not a case of this is 'normal' and you're not coping. The way you feel is very real, noone can tell you that you dont feel this way. Just because a textbook says something should happen at a certain number of weeks doesnt mean you have to fall into that system. We're all individual and healthcare professionals should recognise that.

 

[Toonlass]

very well said tiny xx

 

[leanne1b]

Thanks for all your spport. I spoke to the MW today and shes going to phone the GP and HV and speak to them for me. Shes really nice so can talk to her a bit easier.
I go back to uni in just under 5 weeks, I just really want to enjoy some of this time. Sorry, I know I just keep repeating things. This might sound bit odd, but do you think I'm safe to drive? I drove myself to the GP on Monday, the only time I've driven since my son was born, it's just, normally I'm a very safe driver and am really aware of the roads around me, but on Monday when I got home I realised my driving was still ok.. but that I kept zoning out and kind of just blankly staring at the road without actually looking? Now I'm too scared to drive incase I kill someone by glazing over. I'm sorry, it's just everything is getting on top of me. x

 

[Toonlass]

This happens to me sometimes chick. I still drive but i have to really concentrate on what i'm doing. I imagine your LO is having night feeds so you will be tired as well. Just be careful hun. Let me know how you get on at the docs hun xx

 

[leanne1b]

Just an update, one month on, and after my MW made many phone calls to the GP, we still never recieved a call, so we agreed I should swap doctors surgeries. I asked her what kind of thing they can do, she suggested possibly drugs to control the depression and to calm the panic attacks down, until they can get me a referral with a therapist or something since I've had anxiety to some extent since I was a child.
I had an appointment on friday with a new doctor (turned out to be a locum) he paid no attnetion whatsoever to me feeling depressed etc...
Regarding anxiety... He said avoid situations that start a panic attack (however, anything can set me off... ie. bad weather, even if im safe at home... so not sure how I avoid situations) and if a panic attack starts.... get a paper bag... helpful. I left, and decided to make another ppointment for next week for a dif doctor. so, doctors... take 3. I wonder how that will turn out
x

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

hope it goes well with the next doctor hun! i cant believe how crap they've been! huge xxxx