Ectopic pregnancy resulting in laparoscopy and removal of left tube :-(

[twinkletoes87]

I just don't know what to say to describe how I'm feeling.

As title says, I was diagnosed with a suspected ectopic pregnancy, which meant going for a laparoscopy, where they discovered the pregnancy in my left tube. My numbers were increasing too quickly for a viable pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby, so the decision was made. I had the laparoscopy done on the 7th Feb, spent the 8th sleeping and eventually came home yesterday evening. House was a tip, have spent today doing washing up, laundry, cleaned the bathroom, tidied the playroom. If I sat down I would break down in tears.

I feel like my body has failed and I know I shouldn't but why did my sprout not make it down my tube? Why did it attach there? Why is life so unfair? I know I should be grateful I have two wonderful children whom I do love so dearly, but I feel I've failed. I want this feeling to end xx

 

[laurat]

Im sorry for your loss and having to go through such a traumatic time! Xxx

 

[Lou1103]

So sorry for your loss hun xxx

 

[millielaura]

Im so sorry for your loss xx

 

[Kim1]

sorry for you loss x

 

[Rose83]

Oh twinkletoes I remember you getting your BFP, it's so devastating to see people go through these things when you know how hard they've been trying. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, I know there is nothing any of us can say that will make it better but just know that we are all here to listen to you vent your feelings. Big hugs xx

 

[megsmeadow]

Twinkle toes that's sad news, busy is good but try to find things to keep your mind busy that will allow your body to rest. Smile when you can and cry when you need to xx

 

[lisey]

I am so sorry to read this xx

 

[georgie20]

So sorry to read this. I know exactly how you feel , I had this in 2013. Please try not to think of yourself as a failure, its not your fault that this happened. It hurts so so much but I promise you that you will eventually start to feel better. its not easy but you will get there and if you ever want to chat im a pm away xxx

 

[twinkletoes87]

Thank you my darling, I'm really uncomfortable today, my lower back is aching loads and my tummy keeps cramping and having shooting pains...but I know it is my fault, I did half a food shop in preparation for my daughter's birthday this Sat and it was a big trolley which ended up full...I shouldn't have been pushing it but no one else will do the prep so I have to do it all sister arrives tomorrow evening to come help for the weekend and I've been told that it's a holiday in my own home cos I'm going to be on my arse, not lifting a finger!

My kids head teacher called me yesterday to tell me not to worry about bringing the kids in until next weds, bless her, but tbh I get more rest with driving the kids to school lol.

I'm healing physically and OH is trying to help me recover emotionally but I'm kinda lucky that I'm able to turn off my emotions and go into zombie mode so I don't feel the pain for a while, a nice numbness, to escape emotionally for just a brief spell. It helps xx

 

[georgie20]

i hope that you feel better soon hun. take as long as you need to recover xxx

 

[Selina13]

I'm so sorry for your loss, please know that it's not your fault and you haven't failed.
Sometime life throws sh** at us and we overcome it somehow! Like you say you have zombie mode to get you through. Do what you need to do and with regards to the physical house stuff- do as little as possible!
Get your feet up and recover physically, it's really important. Emotionally recovering takes time but you will find your own way. I'm sad to hear that you have gone through this tragic situation.
Sending you hugs and hope for the future.
Look after yourself. x