Dunno if i have done the right thing RE facebook

[Jo]

Before I start I know that 13 is the age for a FB account
Now I have stuck to my guns for ages in regards Em having a FB account (she is 11)
Now I was having a huge think about it and we have discussed all the dangers and weirdo pretendting to be someone who they are not, she knows all about personal and private info and to never give anything out, to people who she thinks she might Know.

Well I have given in and set her one up, on the understanding that I have full control over it, I will log her in so she won't even know her own password!, therefore she cannot accsess it with out me knowing and friends houses etc...

I have done it so she can play games with her friends, If she pays say Yoville will it just be her friends though or a lot of randoms? I'm not sure about that one TBH

I have made it so no one can add her or even find her on a search, I will have to add them.
Even if they search her email, she won't be found.

Do you think I have done the right thing?

Now I've done it I feel a bit odd, still not 100% sure she should be on there, I've made my feelings known before about this subject and under teens having it, but I have tried to make it as secure as possible.

Oh I dunno I can always delete it I suppose

 

[Tonks]

It sounds as though you've done the right thing, especially making her profile offline so people have to ask permission to add her.

With games, it depends what one it is. I've never played Yoville, but I know on FarmTown you play with other people who are not on your friend's list.

I think if the computer is in a public place, and she understands that you have access to it at all times then it sounds fine.

 

[Jo]

At the minute the desk top is knackered so she has to go on mine or Ants laptop, and she never leaves the room with it, learnt that lesson after she joined twiiter when I told her to take it to her room when she was listening to music and I was trying to watch Corrie

I think I'll have her sat next to me when playing so i can get a gist of what it is, I'm not too fussed about farm town as you don't really interact on that do you?

If I don't give her the password she can't upload photo's etc with out me knowing.

 

[Tonks]

You have a chat box thing on farm town where you can chat to other people not on your friends list if you go into the town bit.

Yeah, and you can also hide the photos too for certain friends groups.

 

[Mamafy]

I think that all sounds ok hun, Cara is the same only msn

 

[Jo]

I suppose time will tell girls, I can't make it any more secure can I?
The only other option was to let her play games on mine, but I really didn't want her to have acsess to my stuff
Plus say you guys were playing something it would look like me but could be Em and thats not fair on you

Mamafy she has MSN too and that gets on my nerves, she was tallking to this lad from school the other night and it was really getting on my wick, he was replying to her with .............. all the time Grrr I called him a dick and told her to block him

 

[Mamafy]

 

[Caitlyns Mummy x]

My 11 year old niece has Facebook and I can't believe some of the things I've seen on there. One boy answered a "social interview" (that's an application on there) question about her. The question was "if you could buy _____ anything, what would you buy?" and he said "a hotel room." She replied "ahh I love you!"

I was so shocked I had to tell my brother! Obviously he doesn't watch her on there. I think you're doing the right thing though. Atleast if you're protective over it she knows it's dangerous x

 

[RAFMrs]

I think you are doing the right thing, you have full control over it and made it as secure as you can, but letting her still use it to play games with her friends so she doesnt feel left out.

 

[Mervs Mum]

so long as you keep a very close eye on her then you can try it.

MSN, FB, Bebo and all that is banned here. She's 15 next week. I once let her have MSN reluctantly and ended up banning it again from the fall outs. I cant tell you the shit we have at school from FB and MSN. They leave the building best mates and the next day their meeting out side for a fight. Emily goes to a very 'nice' school compared to the ones me and OH work in and the one time we did allow it there was crap with falling out every other week. Girls are worst for it and while I dont think MSN and FB are to blame per say, they definitely make it easier for them to carry on like girls do only it doesnt stop when they get home!

I really wanted to let her recently have FB. I let her have Twitter because she can look at celebs and talk to her friends on it and I can see what's going on there easily but she says it's not as popular as FB etc. TOUGH! She's a model straight A student at school but we've still had problems with her being very naive and she once ended up passing her phone number 'innocently' to a friend of a friend who turned out to be a 22 yr old man. All that stuff scares me so I just wont go there.

Keep a very close eye Jo and maybe have her password so you can check it randomly. I cant even do that here - she's too savvy and 'tidied up' in case I looked.

Girls! They are a nightmare!!

 

[Jo]

Thanks MM
Emily doesn't know her password, I set it all up for her and haven't told her it.
She has MSN and it isn't too bad, i keep all her convo's saved I'm always looking over her shoulder to see what she is up to, she can have like 9 convos going at once, I can barely concentrate on 1 .

I think you are so right about not leaving stuff at the school gate like we used to, all those years ago
We haven't had the fallouts as such, but the same as on here, stuff can get taken the wrong way which I am so aware of.

We had another big talk tonight about her not giving out any info, I likened it to telling the person who drives the bus her full name, school where she lives phone number etc...

She was all " muuuum why would I even do that?" then " oh I get ya!"

Must have been a nightmare when Your Emily handed her number out eek.

I understand what you mean about the schools as well, girls will be girls but I hate the thought of my Emily going to a certain school, in fact makes me feel sick but don't have much choice at the moment with the new proposals that are flying about

 

[Mervs Mum]

is she Y6 or Y7? You're doing the right thing though trusting her. I trusted my Emily and she cocked it up BUT if she hadnt she might be still enjoying MSN and the like. Hubby didnt want her to have it but I said no we have to try and trust her. So fingers crossed she'll be absolutely fine

 

[Jo]

is she Y6 or Y7? You're doing the right thing though trusting her. I trusted my Emily and she cocked it up BUT if she hadnt she might be still enjoying MSN and the like. Hubby didnt want her to have it but I said no we have to try and trust her. So fingers crossed she'll be absolutely fine

She is Yr6 in middle school.
Thats the thing with us trust, she thought I didn't trust her but its the other people I don't trust, she knows if she cocks up it gets deleted, I've just checked through Ants as they have a mutual friend LOL and she doesn't show on the friends list, so she is well and truly hidden thank goodness.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Is she going to be busy on the first saturday in December IYKWIM?

 

[Jo]

Not that I know of love, but I think I am being dense

 

[Mervs Mum]

no you're not - PM you.

 

[Jo]

 

[scaredmum2be]

kids can pick up on things really quickly to do with facebook keep an eye when they pester you bout the passwords as they'll eventually find the settings.

Im 20 an ive gt my profile on private an im not on th search engine wahoo. cant be bothered with wierdo's but simply if you dont know them dont add them xx

 

[ria__x]

Mervs Mum,

"FB, Bebo and all that is banned here. She's 15 next week. I once let her have MSN reluctantly and ended up banning it again from the fall outs. I cant tell you the shit we have at school from FB and MSN."

so true!! i'm only 19 so should probably still be facebook obsessed but i got me and my OH to delete it as it just causes trouble with family, friends and even makes me a bit paranoid over NOTHING.

it really does ruin things. if you can use it in moderation and don't take stuff as serious as i do it's fine i think and just keep in touch with people. but arguments and stuff start out it really is pointless. there is a study on how facebook can make people depressed!!!

so i would just say be careful! it's the in thing at the moment but they'll love something next week and not even ask to go on fb! haha. i love coming on here now instead of facebook it's so much better for me

xxx

 

[Sam's Mum]

Jo I know this is an older thread but you do know the privacy settings have changed don't you? You used to be able to set it so that you couldn't be searched for and nobody could add you, but not the most secure you can get is only friends of friends being able to add you, and you can always be seen on other people's friends list now...