Dreading the Gender comments

It's dad's fault, tell people to ask his balls what they put in there. xD

Seriously though, on the day I told my first friend (because she is also expecting and just found out) that I was pregnant she was asking what we want to have. My husband kind of wants a boy and I kind of want a girl but we don't care that much because personality will always be a factor and you could have a kid that does whatever it wants anyways. When my husband was cockily saying how 'he gets to decide' the baby's sex I told him that he should have bought a centrifuge and separated out the little spermies so that the boys all went to the top because he has no idea either. But he said that he got to decide and it was a boy (teasing me) so I reminded him that we haven't done it standing in a while so it's probably a girl and my friend about lost her tea through her nose.

You're always going to get dumb comments from people, my husband and I have been married for 10 years and been together for nearly 20 and now are expecting our first child. We had to endure many expectations about when we were getting married, and after we finally did that, when we were having children (the age of all the cousin's kid's is about right you know, blah blah blah). I used to just tell people we already had one and they missed it, or I was due tomorrow when it obviously wasn't the case. It's a flippant, no-though-involved question from people, so my advise is to come up with an equally flippant, no-thought reply. xD
 
It's dad's fault, tell people to ask his balls what they put in there. xD

Seriously though, on the day I told my first friend (because she is also expecting and just found out) that I was pregnant she was asking what we want to have. My husband kind of wants a boy and I kind of want a girl but we don't care that much because personality will always be a factor and you could have a kid that does whatever it wants anyways. When my husband was cockily saying how 'he gets to decide' the baby's sex I told him that he should have bought a centrifuge and separated out the little spermies so that the boys all went to the top because he has no idea either. But he said that he got to decide and it was a boy (teasing me) so I reminded him that we haven't done it standing in a while so it's probably a girl and my friend about lost her tea through her nose.

You're always going to get dumb comments from people, my husband and I have been married for 10 years and been together for nearly 20 and now are expecting our first child. We had to endure many expectations about when we were getting married, and after we finally did that, when we were having children (the age of all the cousin's kid's is about right you know, blah blah blah). I used to just tell people we already had one and they missed it, or I was due tomorrow when it obviously wasn't the case. It's a flippant, no-though-involved question from people, so my advise is to come up with an equally flippant, no-thought reply. xD
I totally agree its about personality. not all boys like sport etc and not all girls like princesses etc. I believe that the child you get ( boy or Girl) is the right child for your family and you would never change them once they are in your arms. I just can't bear the thought of people assuming I'd be disappointed with another boy or that having 3 of the same gender is somehow not as good. I get comments about it constantly and people domn't even know I'm pregnant yet. Even if I have a girl, I wouldn't want the 'I bet you're glad it's a girl' comments because I just want this baby whatever it may be.
 
^^YES

I'm having a girl and the ''Oh I bet you're so glad you're having a girl'' comments really upset me and to be honest I get really defensive and will say I'd be just as happy if we'd found out she was a boy. I'm actually really worried that they might have got it wrong and I am having a boy, partly because I've bought so many girl clothes now (again had loads of comments about oh I bet you're so glad you can shop for a girl, no I'll be annoyed if it turns out she's a boy because I've also seen so many gorgeous boy outfits that I haven't bought) but also because I'd be worried about the comments either behind my back or too my face about me being disappointed that I was told it was a girl and now it's not.

In my head when we started talking about extending our family I honestly expected us to have two more boys. All the kids in our families recently have been boys and my husbands family are all boys - so it was just what I expected to happen. I was actually a bit shocked when they said girl, not because I wanted one and not because I didn't want one either, just because it was unexpected. I wouldn't have personally tried for a baby if we weren't going to be happy with either outcome.

I also worry about my friends who really want one or the other, because I just feel like they're already putting so many expectations on that child (some of them that aren't even conceived yet) and as you've said, being a boy or girl does not determine personality, interests or career choices, yet so many people think it does and should.
 
I totally agree its about personality. not all boys like sport etc and not all girls like princesses etc. I believe that the child you get ( boy or Girl) is the right child for your family and you would never change them once they are in your arms. I just can't bear the thought of people assuming I'd be disappointed with another boy or that having 3 of the same gender is somehow not as good. I get comments about it constantly and people domn't even know I'm pregnant yet. Even if I have a girl, I wouldn't want the 'I bet you're glad it's a girl' comments because I just want this baby whatever it may be.
Yeah, but there's no real way to make other people think before they speak. I'll probably be telling people that I hope to have a baby elephant for a while, just so I don't have to have that conversation. "It'd be best if we had a giraffe" has no automatic response and people tend to back off when they get a totally absurd answer.
That may just be me enjoying a moment of sarcasm at their expense though, but it keeps the stress off to be flippant.
Just try not to take other people's reactions personally if at all possible. They aren't thinking, and if it's the news that people know about you, it become their version of 'how's the job, how's the weather'. So they aren't seriously asking in most cases (which is why I rationalize me own responses so often to things like this. They don't mean anything to the people asking, so why should they mean anything to you or I).
 

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