Don't know what to say or do

[MrsR]

I don't really know where to post this but didn't want to put it in the loss section. A mum at school with a son in DD's class found out yesterday she's had a miscarriage. We're not particularly close but do talk sometimes. I just don't know what to say beyond 'i'm sorry'. I'm worried that she'll be uncomfortable around me now. We're supposed to be picking up some furniture off her tomoz as she bought new as her sons would be sharing a room to accomodate baby and I'm worried that it's going to be awkward for her. I feel awful for her but have never been in this position before. Any advice?

 

[isobel84]

aww hun! Its horrible to be in that possition.
A girl i know (not best buddies) was pregnant and we where chatting about names and how our LO would play togheter (she was 4 weeks behind me). Day before her 12week scan she MC. I felt so scared to see her didnt know what to say but she showed quite clearly she didnt want anything to do with me.
She normally would give me a lift from work when she pics her OH up, but this one night i was 19weeks i think and had worked 14 hours, i had so much cramps i was in tears. She didnt want me in her car cuz i was pregnant so i had to walk home, took me an hour and i cried the whole way.
I have never waved my pregnancy in her face but when i found that out, that she would not give me a lift even tho my condition that night, that was it, i just didnt bother anymore. and now shes pregnant again, im not bothered about her to be honest.

i think the best thing to do is just to be normal but not talk about your own pregnancy infront of her.
Its not your fault she MC but i know it feels horrible.

 

[serenitylove]

so hard isnt it just try to be normal hun and follow her lead as to how to handle things she may be real chatty or she may be offish just play by ear x

 

[kiki]

I have had to MC's and I know from experience that it can be really uppsetting seeing someone who is pregnant just after you have lost your baby. One of my close friends was pregnant (2weeks behind me) and found out at her 12 week scan that she had a missed MC. I have talked to her on the phone and by email, but we decided that we wouldnt meet up before she felt she had come to terms with her loss a bit more. I think se was relieved when I asked her if it would be easier not to see me for a bit. And now I had a message from her that she is doing better and would like to meet up again.

I don't think anyone is unhappy that someone else is having a baby, it's just such a visual reminder of what you have lost. It's a difficult situation and there is no right or wrong thing to do or say.

 

[Yodabo]

My close friend had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. I felt bloody awful.. We talked loads about how she was feeling on the phone and I asked if she wanted space for a bit but she was adamant she still wanted me around. I do try not to talk baby to her unless dhe asks and talk about normal stuff. Fair play to her I know how Hard it is being around pregnant woman when you've lost a baby but she's coping quite well.

I would just act normal Hun xx

 

[vixforever]

I'd just try and act normal hun. It's a tough one x

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

My friend fell pregnant around the same time as I had my m/c last year and I wanted her to be normal around me!! Even though it hurt knowing she was still pregnant, it wasn't her fault I'd m/c and she hadn't!! She'd prob prefer you to act normal, I certainly did!! x x