don't know what to do

[stressed out]

Hi

I am 27 weeks pregnant and my husband has said he is getting fed up with my attitude . We moved out our first house last week and don't move into our new house til mid September. I wanted to stay with my dad but he wanted to stay with his mum. So I compromised said I would stay at his mums while he was there and stay at my dad's when he wasn't. Tonight he has said he is getting fed up with my attitude as all I do is moan and complain to him. When I stay at his mums I get in from work, say hello then get changed,clean up after him, have dinner and go to bed. I do the exact same at my dad's without cleaning up after the OH. I offer to help around his mums when I am there and she says no you go relax, you have been working all day. I don't really like staying at his mums as I feel akward and in the way so end up in my bed at 9pm. My OH have said to me a few times since he moved back to his mums he is fed up with my moods at his mums and go stay at my dad's, if I did I wouldn't see him for days on end. He also doesnt cuddle me or show as much affection to me as he did. I feel he is giving up on me and our marriage and most importantly our baby. Anyone going through something similar or able to offer any advice. I feel so vulnerable and alone right now.

 

[holly_mai]

I went through this! at exactly the same point, around the 27 week mark. It's so so hard, you feel so alone and you got into this together - why is he giving up now? I think the main issue is you living in parents houses as its not your home, you don't have your own space, your own time or anything. I don't think me and my partner would still be together if we didnt move out, as everyones elses seperate issue got onto us and put alot of strain on our moods. And it's very hard for you because your hormones obviously are everywhere! and you're not sure if you are being unreasonable or if there actually is an issue. Your OH needs to understand that you have so so much going on at the minute, that you are growing another human being! That little one is taking all of your energy, motivation, everything.. this definatley needs a sit down calm chat with your OH. Try and approach him calmly and nicely as if you go all guns blazing, he'll just think you are nagging again and won't listen. You need to tell him that you are in this together and that you cannot help your emotions at the moment. My OH was exactly the same untill i sat down at spoke to him, i think then he realised actually yeah she is creating my child and that cannot be easy, since then he has treated me so much better and actually understands. He probably doesn't cuddle you and stuff because he feels he has to stay out of your way because of your moods, that's what my OH did.
It's just alot of pressure on both of you right now, and you need to sit down and go through this as a team.
I hope it all works out hunnie

 

[JRS90]

Really good advice from hollie_mai, I think you need to approach him calmly and explain how you've been feeling, hopefully then your OH can be more understanding and supportive. It's hard with all the hormones flying around when you're pregnant especially when you haven't got your own space and privacy is basically refined to the bedroom. it's hard enough as it is without added stresses and pressures. I hope it all works ok for you!