Don't know what to do :(

[Lilmoomin]

I had a call from my sons school today, he has got himself in trouble! He is 13.

With what I can figure is - in a lesson today, they was discussing past events, they started discussing bombings such as 9/11 and so on and he got dared to say to a mix race student 'are you a terrorist?' Obviously this student was deeply hurt by his comment and understandably so was his parents.

I am so shocked and disappointed by what my son said, I have sat and cried. I cant believe he would say anything like that, but he did.

The school have not expelled him as he is always good at school and has never been in trouble. He has had an hour detention today and will be put in isolation all next week.

Another thing that has shocked & upset me, is my son was bullied so bad that we had to swap schools, so why would he do something that made him so sad??

I have tried to talk to him about it & he is obviously sorry, but not getting far at the moment because of how angry and disappointed I am in him.

I was also informed that this will have to go on his record as 'racism' and if he gets in anymore trouble, he will be expelled.

How do I make him realise what he has done is really wrong??

 

[leannesxb]

Hi my son is 13 too and I never had any trouble with him before but he has got very cocky and rude lately. Hes got in trouble a few times at school. I'm a teaching assistant too which makes it worse. I think maybe knowing how upset it made you will be enough. Sometimes the things that make us so horrified really is just children being children. They are at the age where they question, push their luck and assert their independence. Its not nice but it is just normal teenagers.

 

[Piglet10]

ok, me here im gonna be blunt as usual :~/

i highly doubt ur son meant to hurt anyone, he is 13 i seriously dont think at that age they understand and tbh nor should they! i defo think if he considered it bullying he wudnt have said it, i dont think of it as bullying,

i personally think its a silly remark, but i wudnt go apeshit over it

i wud explain the extent of the comment and leave it at that

he probably feels so stupid, but remember peer pressure is a HUGE deal and as u said ur son normally wudnt say anything like this so i wud just let him kno WHY he shudnt have said it and ur disappointed ,

dont get too worked up over it hes only 13 afterall these things happen!

hell not be the first or the last to do something stupid over peer pressure it has no reflection on himself his family or his upbringing xxx

 

[Lilmoomin]

Thanks ladies, I hope your right. I know he knows he has done wrong. I don't want to punish him, I just need him to know he cant say things like that!

Fingers crossed it was a one off and wont happen again x x x

 

[Piglet10]

he wasnt really around ever to know the extent of terrorists or even fully understand the troubles, i am sure he didnt know what he was saying and how deep it runs, quite innocent really xx

 

[Lilmoomin]

Yes we sat down and spoke to him last night, he is fully aware of we he has done. He has appolagised to the boy but he understands why the boy didn't want to know. He also understands that he is very lucky to have not been expelled and that he is now on thin ice.
His words to us last night was 'I know what I said was really wrong and stupid, I wish I could take it back but I know I cant, I promise I will never do anything like that again' he was sobbing
He wants to be an art teacher so bad and knows one more mistake like that could ruin it for him.

Lesson learnt hopefully! Thanks again x x

 

[isobel84]

If Noa ever said something so out of order, I would tale him to this family's house for him to appoligise. Your son seems to understand what he did was wrong and he apoligeised so I would prob leave it now.