CH0C0H0LIC
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OK the situation is this:
I have a 11yo son, and had split from his Dad before he was born. It wasn't a serious relationship and his parents did not know about us. (When my son was 5yo, his biological Dad commited suicide by gassing himself in his car.)
I had a partner who my son thought was his dad for 9yrs, until he dropped him like a hot potato and told me to tell my son he wasn't his real Dad.
I told my son about stepdad not being his real Dad and he asked about his real Dad. I told him that he had died in his car when my son was 5yo. I also told him that his Nan and Grandad didn't know about him but I would contact them if he wanted me to. They are coming to terms with the news still and we are waiting to hear from them so they can meet my son. I didn't want to lie about how he died so saying what I did meant I didn't lie (he was in his car) but my son could assume it was a car accident.
He is now asking questions about how his Dad died and keeps bringing the subject up. I do not want to tell him the real reason as he has moderate learning disabilities and i am unsure of whether he could process the information properly and i don't think he is emotionally mature enough to deal with something so... grown up.
What age would you tell a child this kind of information?
Very interested to hear your views.
On a good note my OH told me last night that he wants to adopt my son as his own (and David had already asked to change his surname to my OH's when we get married so we were a real family
)
Sarah xxx
I have a 11yo son, and had split from his Dad before he was born. It wasn't a serious relationship and his parents did not know about us. (When my son was 5yo, his biological Dad commited suicide by gassing himself in his car.)
I had a partner who my son thought was his dad for 9yrs, until he dropped him like a hot potato and told me to tell my son he wasn't his real Dad.
I told my son about stepdad not being his real Dad and he asked about his real Dad. I told him that he had died in his car when my son was 5yo. I also told him that his Nan and Grandad didn't know about him but I would contact them if he wanted me to. They are coming to terms with the news still and we are waiting to hear from them so they can meet my son. I didn't want to lie about how he died so saying what I did meant I didn't lie (he was in his car) but my son could assume it was a car accident.
He is now asking questions about how his Dad died and keeps bringing the subject up. I do not want to tell him the real reason as he has moderate learning disabilities and i am unsure of whether he could process the information properly and i don't think he is emotionally mature enough to deal with something so... grown up.
What age would you tell a child this kind of information?
Very interested to hear your views.
On a good note my OH told me last night that he wants to adopt my son as his own (and David had already asked to change his surname to my OH's when we get married so we were a real family
)Sarah xxx
