don't know if I'm cut out for 1 child nevermind 2!

[Doodles]

ok so feeling utterly useless & rubbish, to start, since having Doodles I have turned into a proper miserable *****, I often wonder why the hell hubby sticks with me, as I've already driven away all my friends and most of my family, I don't even know why I'm miserable half the time & genuinly try not to be but I just can't seem to help it. I used to have fun & although I could be a bitch, I could also have fun & be happy.

Had to take Doodles somewhere last night and he ended up going to the flat upstairs to play with another little boy, I've spoken to the woman a few times though don't know her name, I was having a full blown panic attack & all sorts of thoughts were racing through my head but I didn't dare go up (they were in the flat on the floor above, so I could here them up there) because I was scared I'd offend them, in the end I couldn't take it anymore & whent up to check on him, he was fine, if a little bewildered as to why he was in a strangers house (he hadn't met them before but he was getting on fine with the little boy)

today, I was putting the shopping away in our fridge in the porch & Doodles locked me out (we have a bar with a loop that goes across & you cannot open it from the outside), he was brilliant and didn't touch anything just sat on the kitchen floor and played with his trains (asked him to pass me the mobile or phone 999 and tell them mammy help but to no avail he just repeated what I said toddled off and came back with another toy), thankfully a plained clothes police officer was driving by and stopped to ask for directions (I was outside at that point trying to find a neighbour who was in so I could use their phone) and he managed to bust the lock

I can't even get Connor to eat his veg, sorry for the long post guys, I just seriously wonder what the hell I'm thinking by having any kids never mind deliberatley trying for another one, oh and I've fallen off the wagon and started smoking again (occassionally) after having quit for over 2yrs

 

[LouiseB]

My husband is a miserable sod by nature.

He just always seems to focus on the possible negatives and goes on about them until he makes everyone around him (me) equally miserable.

I told him that he has to start saying something positive after everytime he said a negative and i think it worked better than even i imagined.

So, if he said something like "Oh i hate x, y and z" then he'd have to say "But at least it's not as bad as a, b and c"

Then i think it started happening in his head after a while.

Don't get me wrong, he's still a miserable sod at heart but he doesn't express it onto other half as much

 

[mustard]

Aww
Little Doodles sounds like a sweety so you must be doing a great job!

 

[winnie89]

heya hun, try not to worry too much, you sound like ur doing a great job!! i know how u feel about the OH mine keep telling me i must be having a phantom pregnancy because i haven't had a period since the 4th march, but all my pregnancy tests tell me that i am not pregnant, men are just useless sometimes he keeps telling me one thing like how much he wants children, but he he is unwilling to come to the doctors with me (i told him it;s not just my fault if i can't get pregnant) hope everything goes ok for you hun u really deserve happiness in life.

 

[xbeax]

I'm sure your doing a great job! Big hugs xxx

 

[ButterflyBoo_x]

Hugs hun! it is really stressful being a full time sometimes! Do you have enough 'me' time? (Yes i know none of us do!) Maybe get oh to take doodles out for a day for you to chill? xxx

 

[Doodles]

thanks all, nope very rarely get any time where it's just me, my mum's having Doodles for the night in June so we can go to see Greg Davies (our last date night was nearly a year ago & it ended with us miscarrying) have so many things I'd love to take up but never seem to be able to work it around everything else.
Thanks for the support ladies, feeling a lot better today x x