Donor Eggs?

[tinselcat]

Hi

Question to those ladies who have used donor eggs

How do you feel about the babies?

It may be my only option to have more babies but I'm worried that I wouldn't feel like a donor egg baby was mine. I know it sounds silly when written down but humans aren't generally rational!

Would really appreciate hearing other peoples' experiences with this

Also - how do you go about finding a donor, and how much do you know about them?

I've got a wonderful sperm donor lined up already up (bought up lots of his stuff!!)

xx

 

[WinterWolf]

I can't speak from personal experience but if donor eggs were my best option for getting pregnant, I'd be using them 100%. I think knowing that I would be the one to carry and give birth to that baby would more than make up for the fact that it wasn't my egg making it. I mean, your body didn't make the egg but it grew the baby.. without you it wouldn't be alive, so it is your child. I dunno, just my opinion. Good luck with whatever you choose x

 

[Akua]

so bear with me here as I’m aware this might sound bad but I’m really not trying to be offensive, I’m trying to be helpful

But I love my dog an insane amount. And she’s not even the same species. I think if I’ve carried and birthed a human I can only love them even more, regardless of genetics.

Hope someone comes along who’s been in those shoes already x

 

[Elven]

I haven't personally got any experience with that, but I think I would be fine with it as I would be the one carrying it. I think I would possibly struggle with a surrogate, but I think carrying that baby for months and feeling it move about creates a bond regardless of whether you share any DNA. x

 

[Syd43]

I’m almost 22 weeks with a donor egg so I can’t yet tell you how I feel about it after giving birth but I can honestly tell you I really don’t think I would feel any different about the pregnancy if it were own eggs. I’ve been pregnant several times naturally and certainly those early stages felt no different to the first 8 weeks of this pregnancy (8 1/2 weeks is as far as I’ve gotten naturally). There’s a whole section on donor eggs on the fertility friends website and I would suggest you have a read of that, it’s really helpful. There are lots of great descriptions people use about using donor eggs one being that it’s just a tiny spec of dna you’re getting from another (generous and kind) lady, you are building the baby, growing and nurturing.

I went to Serum in Greece for treatment, most European clinics only have anonymous donors due to local laws. You therefore only get minimal info, I got nationality, hair and eye colour, education and a couple of hobbies. In the U.K. donors have ID release meaning your child can trace the donor when they reach 18 and I think you get more info but not sure how much, I’m pretty sure you don’t get photos. Happy to answer any questions.

 

[tinselcat]

Hi Syd

Thanks for your insight. I would like more info like you had - around education, hair colour etc, I think that would help, if I knew the baby might look 'a bit' like me.

Will check out fertility friends too xx

Sarah

 

[Syd43]

I chose Serum because they have such a great reputation for matching donors. Everyone I've come across that has donor children from there says the children really look like them / other siblings etc. One lady I met out there has an own egg child and a donor egg child, she showed me photos of the two of them at the same age and they are identical! I don't know how matching works in the UK, I get the impression you're on a waitlist and when you get to the top, providing the next donor matches your basic criteria, you're offered them. Most clinics abroad have a pool of donors and match by looks as well as requirements.

 

[phonixgirl]

Hi Tinsel

There is a clinic that does have photos because my acupuncturist showed me a booklet. It was kind of like a sales booklet for the egg. This was a good couple of years ago.

I would be happy to use donor eggs and wouldn't see it as any different if my husband wanted to (we have kind of given up now). I like the option places like Serum offer, however. I don't think I'd want them finding their biological mother. Like Syd says, they seem very good at matching and very much do what's right.

 

[miamia]

I have no dir experiences, but you might pick up a donor using this base

 

[SugaryIris]

My friend works in a fertility clinic and she matches donors with eggs so I can tell you how much care goes into every single case she deals with. You can have donors with similar features to you if that’s important (and if there is a donor that matches available) or as close to it as they can get.

Everyone of her mums has loved their baby instantly.

I would really recommend speaking to a clinic, lots of them do consultations xx