Does the sex of baby matter in the end?

[Lisamj]

Hi everyone,

DH and I had been determined to stay team green (it's our first baby). For some reason over the last couple of weeks, we've both developed a slight preference for a girl whereas at the beginning we honestly didn't mind.

We've got a 4D scan booked in May when I am 30 weeks and are now debating whether to find out the sex then or wait until the birth. My question is.....did any of you had a preference, but stayed team green? If so, at the birth, did it really matter? Health is the priority of course, but I just wondered if after going through labour, does the outpuring of love just happen no matter what the sex is IYKWIM??

Thanks for any advice!

L xxx

 

[maybebaby]

We stayed Team Green even though OH had his heart set on a boy from the first BFP! I was a bit concerned that he would be disappointed with a girl but I honestly think now that we would have been thrilled with either sex. The moment when the baby is born & you look into his/her eyes, nothing else in the world matters except that's your baby.

This time round OH's already telling ds he's going to have a little brother but we're going to be Team Green again.

 

[leckershell]

We had a 3d scan at 30 weeks and stayed team green. It built up the excitement of labour (as opposed to dreading it) to finally find out whether we had a boy or girl. I always felt he was a boy, and preferred a boy but by the end I didn't mind the thought of having a girl. In the end yes he was a boy so not a surprise for us. I had loads of neutral clothes too which I think I preferred as newborns look nicer in white anyway in my opinion!

 

[xrachx]

I have never found out what the sex was as we wanted another addition to the family, doesnt matter if its a boy or a girl just another much wanted member of the family.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I found out but not because I had a preference but because I am impatient!

I think that you really won't mind hen the baby is born and that you'll be so overwhelmed with love for it that you won't care whether it's a she or a he!

Team green is probably a very exciting way to go! So if you've got the patience then do it!

 

[andreag]

I initilly wanted to find out but they couldn't tell at the 20 week scan and when we considered having a private one, I decided I would really rather wait.I was glad I did in the end. I was convinced Charlotte was a boy through most of the pregnancy, so was surprised but delighted when she was born. It doesn't matter a jot in the end!

 

[beanie]

I have had surprises with both of mine (if you can wait I so recommend it), and not only did it not matter, I was just too excited to see my baby and that they were ok, that I didn't check straight away. When I found out we had another girl, it was secondary IYKWIM,all that mattered was my baby was here and she was beautiful and healthy

I remember when I gave birth to Sere there was a moment when she had crowned but her body was still in me. I looked at her face and just fell in love, without even knowing what bits and pieces she had

 

[Nicola]

I found out with a gender scan at 16 weeks because I just couldn't wait, I was desperate to know but found the scan approaching made me nervous really, I went through phases days before of "I want a girl" and then be thinking "no I want a boy" and so it continued untill I convinced myself I wanted a boy simply so I wouldn't be dissapointed because I wanted a girl and vice versa - all noncence.....I tell you the second she said "it's a boy" it just completed me, I was so thrilled to have a boy and the second your baby arrives you'll be 1000% happy what ever you have, I kinda took the approach that finding out the gender was a surprise at 21 weeks or a surprise at 40 weeks type thing and decided to find out early to plan/prepare/shop etc. You'll honestly not care what gender you have the second your bundle arrives.

 

[Lola's Mummy]

I found out with my LO

OH really wanted a boy and TBH he was a little bit disapointed when he found out she was a girl but was happy she was healthy. I didn't mind what sex she was but felt really worried about telling OH after i found out. He couldn't go with me as he couldn't get the time off work, So i had to go on my own so no one knew before him.

I won't be finding out if we have another baby as i think it will add to the excitement

 

[mary70]

i dont think it matters at all as long as they are healthy i thought wrong with both mine and were a bit shocked as i was 100% sure i was right but when they put your child in your arms it doesnt matter

 

[valentine]

I had a surprise and like lots of people above I really recommend it!

I do agree that you can get the surprise early but I just think that waiting makes the birth so much more special and exciting than it already is! However like beanie, I was just so overwhelmed I forgot to look until someone reminded me!

Valentine Xxx

 

[Foxxi]

I found out what I was having because I was soooo desperate for a girl!

When I found out he was a boy, I was gutted! I am now really quite ashamed of myself for feeling that way.. but I really couldnt control how I felt.

When he was born, I didnt feel no 'rush of love' but I did feel like this little person needed me and I would do and give him the very best that I could.

I remember the day that I brought him home, saying to my husband how awful I felt for saying all along I didnt want a boy and that never in a million years would I have swapped him. The 'love' came to me as a progression. I now love him unconditionally.

All I can say is that im glad that I found out the sex, because I wouldnt have wanted to feel at the birth the way that I felt when I found out that he was a boy, would of spoilt a very special experience.

The next one... I really couldnt care less Infact, Id be tempted to go team green!

Good Luck to you!

 

[DebbieM]

We stayed team green and I'd not have cared whether it was a boy or girl. I'd have been happy either way and we ended up with a blue package and I am more than happy

 

[Redshoes]

I think if you really, really have a strong preference you should find out the sex, as like Foxxi so kindly shared, it could possibly effect the positive birth experience for you otherwise if you don't get what you want

We found out with Isaac, mainly because I didn't want the sex to be a big issue and felt it a bit all encompassing up until his 20wk scan, for me finding out was the right choice We're finding out again this time and I cannot wait, maybe next time we'll stay green, who knows

 

[Tangerinedream]

We didnt find out the sex because we wanted to leave that exciting moment until the very end (as Shell said, look forward to the labour rather than dreading it). Me and OH both said we wanted a girl and im ashamed to say I would have been gutted to find out I was having a boy at the scan. But I found out at the birth and when your baby is there right in front of you all that went before just doesnt matter. It didnt to me anyway.

 

[kazlin]

I am afraid that I did have a preference, I wanted a boy. If Dan had been a girl though, it really wouldn't have bothered me.

I will admit, I am secretly hoping for a girl next time, but if it's another boy, then that would be cool too 8)

 

[Becky]

The moment when the baby is born & you look into his/her eyes, nothing else in the world matters except that's your baby.

Yep I agree completely. We were team Green throughout and we were both in agreement that we didn't want to know. I always had a feeling it was a girl and OH thought it was a boy.

 

[trixipaws]

i must admit i secretly wanted a girl (i knew she was one as had seen on 3d scan)

i think if i have another it might be fun to stay team green and get a suprise as i really dont think iv a preference now iv already got the little girl i wanted- one of each would be great and i would like a son as i hav no brothers nor nephews- but another girl would be cheaper (kept millies old clothes!) and maybe better playmate for millie

 

[Lisamj]

Thanks everyone, we are going to discuss it properly tonight whether to fid out or not.
All your responses have been a really great help - Natalie&Jake's is kind of how I hope to feel!

L xx