Does it get any easier?

[Mummy0410]

Hey ladies, I suffered an ectopic pregnancy in september 2011. 2moro would have been my angel baby's due date and I can't stop thinking about it. I've sat myself all day crying so have no idea how I will be feeling 2moro. Does it get any easier?? Xxxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Hi hun, it's a tricky time for you with the due date tomorow - the answer is yes, it really does get easier. I found that once the due date came and went, which actually was not as hard as I had thought in the end, I could then get some form of closeure on it. Obviously you will never forget your angel baby, but it's easier and easier over time.

Are you going to do anything tomorow to mark the day, or just relax and be thoughtful?
I went and brought a special named rose on the day and planted it. (i actually brought a named one called Sweet rememberance so that if I failed to look after it and something happened to it over time,I could replace the same variety. I have since planted forgetme nots around it. I couldn't do it at the time - but I also released two helium balloons on mothers day this year (2 years later), and that was really special , one baby pink, one baby blue, I have a special photo of it too. You can get those sky lanterns too.

Some of the ladies on here have other ways eg one has a lovely footprint tatoo, or you could go for a walk with oh to a place special to both of you.

But if your not feeling up to that yet, I hope the day goes smoothly and you feel more of a sense of ease after XX

 

[kanga86]

for u tomorrow Hun, on this hard day for u tomorrow.

I found that I was a lot worse in the week leading up to my angel's due date back in January, and on the day it felt like a weight had been lifted as such. I felt as though I had released some of the grieve I was holding on too for my bean. Even though I was 15 weeks pregnant at the time, it was still hard to know I could've had my baby.

I still get it now, thinking I should have a 4month old, not have 2 months left of my pregnancy. It was this time last year that I got my first bfp too, so I have been thinking a lot about my first bean, but I'm not as upset about it as I was. I think we will always remember our angel's and they will always hold a place dear in our hearts.

It does get easier to cope with, although I will never ever forget. xxx

 

[kanga86]

We released a Chinese lantern on our angel's due date to mark the day and it is probably something we will do every year xxx

 

[hayels]

Big hugs hun. It does get easyer I promises you. Xxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Hi hun,

Due dates are always difficult, although I found once mine passed I felt a huge sense of relief!

I have two more to go shock but have decided not to do anything to mark the occasions. I don't want to carry around these dates of sadness if that makes sense so I am not going to observe them.

Be kind to yourself tomorrow

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Mummy0410]

Hi hun, it's a tricky time for you with the due date tomorow - the answer is yes, it really does get easier. I found that once the due date came and went, which actually was not as hard as I had thought in the end, I could then get some form of closeure on it. Obviously you will never forget your angel baby, but it's easier and easier over time.

Are you going to do anything tomorow to mark the day, or just relax and be thoughtful?
I went and brought a special named rose on the day and planted it. (i actually brought a named one called Sweet rememberance so that if I failed to look after it and something happened to it over time,I could replace the same variety. I have since planted forgetme nots around it. I couldn't do it at the time - but I also released two helium balloons on mothers day this year (2 years later), and that was really special , one baby pink, one baby blue, I have a special photo of it too. You can get those sky lanterns too.

Some of the ladies on here have other ways eg one has a lovely footprint tatoo, or you could go for a walk with oh to a place special to both of you.

But if your not feeling up to that yet, I hope the day goes smoothly and you feel more of a sense of ease after XX

Thankyou for your reply unfortunately I am working today which in a way I am hoping it takes my mind off it a little as I have been very emotional all morning. I have bought a balloon that I am going to release when I am ready. I have a memorial tattoo on my arm ( not sure if I have posted a pic before but ill have a look and if not ill put it up) it says 'My Little Angel...Too Beautiful For Earth' and the date we lost he/she.

Also will this horrible feeling come back around 1 year on from the day we lost baby? Xxxxx

 

[Mummy0410]

for u tomorrow Hun, on this hard day for u tomorrow.

I found that I was a lot worse in the week leading up to my angel's due date back in January, and on the day it felt like a weight had been lifted as such. I felt as though I had released some of the grieve I was holding on too for my bean. Even though I was 15 weeks pregnant at the time, it was still hard to know I could've had my baby.

I still get it now, thinking I should have a 4month old, not have 2 months left of my pregnancy. It was this time last year that I got my first bfp too, so I have been thinking a lot about my first bean, but I'm not as upset about it as I was. I think we will always remember our angel's and they will always hold a place dear in our hearts.

It does get easier to cope with, although I will never ever forget. xxx

I know I keep getting a horrible feeling that because I am awaiting the arrival of my 3rd baby girl that I am sort of replacing my angel. I am going to release a balloon 2day for him/her and think it is something I will do every year on this date xxxxxx

 

[Mummy0410]

Thankyou Hayels xxxxx

 

[Mummy0410]

Hi hun,

Due dates are always difficult, although I found once mine passed I felt a huge sense of relief!

I have two more to go shock but have decided not to do anything to mark the occasions. I don't want to carry around these dates of sadness if that makes sense so I am not going to observe them.

Be kind to yourself tomorrow

xxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks for the reply, I have just released my balloon, emotional but feel a bit better I must say. I know what u mean though about no wanting to carry around the sad dates xxxx

 

[kanga86]

Also will this horrible feeling come back around 1 year on from the day we lost baby? Xxxxx

This is a date I'm not looking forward too at all. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel. It is also just 5 days after my due date, so I could in fact have my baby on the same day I lost my angel, just a year later! And that scares me because I know I will not be able to control my emotions if that were to happen. Xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

With my first loss the due date is etched in my mind, actually it was a year ago yesterday I got my first BFP....

My second and third losses were in some ways a lot harder (one m/c is not all that uncommon, 2 is worrying, 3 indicates a problem) even though they were earlier and both times I'd only known I was pregnant for a week or so!

I've made a decision to go forward without marking our 2nd and 3rd loss. It doesn't mean I love those little angels any less but I only want to take positives going forwards. Each lost pregnancy bought OH and I closer and made us realise what we truly wanted.

I love and miss my beans everyday, so remembering one single date doesn't change that!

I understand why people choose to commemorate certain dates, I did start a thread on here in Jan (my first due date!) and made my OH toast our lost bean that evening BUT I will not be doing anything next year. I want to celebrate birthday's and happy occasions not dates that represent "what could have been" I want to celebrate what I do have and not what I don't?

I know this may be a little contraversial so please do not be offended?

xxxxxxxxx

 

[kanga86]

I think ur right in not marking what could have been, as it does take away from all the good things that happen throughout the year.

I just don't see myself being able to do it, not because I think it is important to remember but because I find it very hard to forget the sad dates and needlessly torture myself with them. Maybe once Roo is here I will feel different, but I think even if I do remember all the dates in the years to come I don't think I will be as upset or feel as drawn to do something.

My due date in January is a couple of days before my mums birthday, so I will probably always remember my bean on her birthday when we release a Chinese lantern for her. And the same with the day we lost our angel baby being so close to Roos birthday I think it would be hard to not think about it. Xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

My second due date is the day after my Brother's Birthday so I'm not likely to "forget" but I won't make an issue of it.

My thrid due date is about 10 days after Roo is due, so again I am not actually able to forget but I am choosing not to mark the occasion.

I still remember all the dates of the people we have lost (all my grandparents) and I agree it is hard not to remember.

I say all of this now, I could end up a wreck come end of May and early July

xxxxxxx

 

[kanga86]

I still remember all the dates of the people we have lost (all my grandparents) and I agree it is hard not to remember.

This is is how I see the dates, and I think the day we lost our angel baby will probably be the main one that sticks out over the due date. As on the due date nothing really happened as such to be sad about, it's just a case of remembering want could have been. And I suppose the due date only happens the once, it's not really an anniversary date as such like the day someone passed away.

I think although u have chosen not to mark ur other due dates, ur pregnancy hormones might actually make u change ur mind. But I don't see a problem if all u do is remember ur angels on this day rather than doing something special as such!

On my due date, I spent the whole day alone and m DH didn't come home til gone 10 if I remember rightly and we nearly didn't even set the chinese lantern off. So I think it was more the remembering of my bean than meant more than actually doing something!

I'm not very good with words and I'm not sure this is coming out like I want it too. Maybe I should just be quiet xxxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I have just realised my first miscarriage happened on what will be 2nd due date

Blimey!!!

I'll see how it all goes I think, these days I really try my hardest not to feel sad and think about bad things

xxxxxxxxx

 

[tinselcat]

Hey ladies, I suffered an ectopic pregnancy in september 2011. 2moro would have been my angel baby's due date and I can't stop thinking about it. I've sat myself all day crying so have no idea how I will be feeling 2moro. Does it get any easier?? Xxxxx

Hi sweetie

So sorry for your loss and about your ectopic pregnancy

I hope the due date wasn't too painful for you.

As the other ladies have said, it does get easier with time - the due date was the hardest for me & I fell apart a couple of months before it, the next 2 years were still upsetting but I confess I didn't notice the 5th anniversary of the due date earlier this year although my little angel is still in my heart.

Best wishes to you xxx

 

[kra0]

I have just realised my first miscarriage happened on what will be 2nd due date

Blimey!!!

I'll see how it all goes I think, these days I really try my hardest not to feel sad and think about bad things

xxxxxxxxx

My due date is 2 days after I lost my angel baby xxxx

 

[Mummy0410]

Thankyou so much for all your replies ladies. Today I have been an emotinal wreck but just glad the day is nearly over I'm hoping I wake up 2moro and I feel fine. I know the date of the anniversary of losing bean will be tough aswell but still a few months until then so gona try n not let it get 2 me until the time comes xxxxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

I can see where you coming from Carnat, I don't know how I would feel with three mc dates to carry around, and would prob do the same, my freind had 3 then went on to have her son, and I think she thinks me a little silly to remember and mark my date, but everyone has their own way, and that's how it should be. Maybee she remembers all her three angels on the first date in her mind, but doesnt mark it.

This is just my own personal take on me - I actually think if I didn't mark the day, like sending a balloon up or tending my rose and forgetme knots on around the time I lost, I'd end up worrying if I was a bad mum, i'm not saying anyone else is a bad mum, I just think i'd feel guilty with myself, read too much into it. So I cover the day off and i'm all fine with myself! ha

I didn't take my OH to the park to release the balloons on the mc day, in fact it turned out he thought they were for mothersday !! I was not very impressed, but I wanted to just take Devon and me along, as oh is not sentimental like me. Devon released the ballons which I felt was significant (this was on the second due date, I didn't feel I could do it on the first one!). Devon was sending them up to angel sibling, that without them, he wouldn't have been born..

Hope your doing ok Mummy0410 ? XX