never gets easier

[rach]

4 weeks 2moro my little angel was born and it still feels as if it was yesterday people say you will feel better after the funeral which i dont in fact i feel worse every day is just as painful as the first and i cant ever see an end to this pain.
ive been down the cemetary for a few hours this morning just sat there crying and begging at an empty sky for reasons why my precious little jamie was taken from us so cruelly.
ppl say time heals but i just cant believe thats true maybe you just get used to being in constant pain.
i keep wondering what jamie would be doing now if hed lived would he be smiling yet? trying to hold his head up? looking around? i cant believe he would be nearly 4 weeks old already

sorry just needed to .........
xxxxxxx

 

[lmwarr]

I really feel for you. I dont have any experience with this but I do hope things will get better for you time is a great healer but it is going to take a very long time this is something that you will never get over but will be able to live with. (If that makes sense). Keep on doing what ever makes you feel better. Turn to anyone we are all here to help if we can.

I am sure what Jamie is doing now is looking down on you and your family with a smile on his face knowing how much you love him and always will. x

 

[Wobbles]

God Rach I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through but I pain for you every time I see your hurting.

Every time I see you post I think of you & your little boy & I can’t imagine you stop thinking about him at any time. He’ll always be with you I don’t think your pain & anger will ever disappear but I do hope one day you will feel strong enough to smile & know Jamie is smiling with you sending his family who will always love him warm hugs.

I hope what I’m trying to say hasn’t came across wrong. I can’t word what I’m thinking.

*Hugs*

X x X

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

Rach i still feel for u, no one deserves to go thro wot u have been thro, and nobody expects u to stop hurting after all its one been four weeks!! i cant say i know wot its like as i dont but if u ever need to tlk pm me or my msn address is [email protected]
i am so sorry hunni

 

[Dee1985]

Rach,

i know you have touched many peoples hearts here,
when i got home from hospital and read lauras post it broke my heart i couldnt help but cry i called my partner to come quick, he was gutted too as all i use to talk about was how close are babys were due together.

its horrible how things turn out

peope do say it gets easier, i cant see how thou?

my mum went through the same thing and she was not her self for a year untill she seen some one for help.

do you think it will help once ou get results from hospital?

i realy dont no if this will help or sounds real bad, but Harley and Jamie were born the same day, so ifyour ever sitting there wonder what he would be doing now ect...... but if it helps you by asking..

 

[hayley_17]

i really feel 4 u hun. i don't really have any idea what you and your family must be going through. am sure jamie is looking down on you smiling, and knowing how much you all love him.
my sister lost a baby 2 years ago, he was born at 22 weeks and only survived for 6 hours. i no how much it hurt her, her OH & my whole family. she found she got worse after the funeral aswell, i think its only natural hun. they found out she had lupus disease and thats why she lost him. i no that even now she gets upset, she had another little boy in january and she cries sometimes saying she should have two boys with her, not just one.
don't be too hard on yourself and expect to be feeling better already, its only been 4 weeks. my sister still thinks of the baby boy she lost everyday and she says that although the pain is still there its easier to deal with now.
i don't no if ive helped u at all and im sorry if i havent
take care, hayley xx

 

[LouisecH]

Hi Rach

Mourning is part of the natural healing process and is supposed to help people come to terms with what has happened. It can take a long time so don't expect too much of yourself yet.

It's only 4 weeks since you lost Jamie and you've suffered such a terrible loss and shock. No one should have to experience the death of their child. I can't begin to imagine how awful you must be feeling.

I'm sure that at the moment the funeral is not going to be any comfort at all but perhaps in the future it will help because it is a way of acknowledging Jamie and all the love you feel for him.

My heart goes out to you, I'm crying for you as I type. Grieving can be very exhausting so make sure you let people look after you. Ask for help if you need it, keep talking, post on here and don't bottle anything up.

Big hugs to you Rach, we're all here for you if you need us.

Louise x

 

[Lilli]

Hello love,
Im so truly sorry for your pain. What can i say that will make you feel better? Theres isnt much, except my support. Please feel free to PM me anytime xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Vicky]

i'm so sorry hunny,

 

[stephlw25]

Rach, my heart goes out to you. i cant even begin to imagine what you are going through. sending you all my love and a huge ((((((hug)))))), you have a lot of peoples support on here and we are all thinking of you xxxxxx

Steph xx

 

[lauramumof2]

sorry just needed to .........
xxxxxxx

never be sorry for posting how you feel about this, you have gone through the worst thing a parent can go through. Dont push yourself to feel anything. I dont know that time heals, it just gets easier to deal with whats happened but that doesnt mean you feel any less for Jamie.

 

[Anna Marie]

Oh Rach I didn't see this thread until today and I am now sitting at my desk crying my eyes out at your post and all the lovely replies to you.

I can only ditto what all these lovely women have already said.. don't expect too much of yourself.. it will take a long time to feel positive again and Jamie will always be there in your mind and heart no matter what you do so allow your grief to come out and don't push yourself too much, no parent should have to bury their child and i cannot imagine that sort of pain but I do know that you are a truly wonderful person with such a good heart and soul so I am sure that one day you will be smiling again.

And when you do smile.. Jamie will be smiling down on you too xxxxx

 

[rach]

thanks everyone for your replies sorry am just having a bad few days feel like im on an emotional roller coaster at the moment xxxx

 

[Anna Marie]

Don't apologise Rach.. you are allowed to feel whatever you feel... just wish we could do more to help than just offer our love and hugs...xxxx

 

[nicki]

Hi Rach,

Sorry hun, i've only just read this post. I'm sending all my love and hugs to you.

Nicki.xxx

 

[rach]

its ok nicki thanks hun xxxx
anna marie everyone has been fab im finding things so difficult at the moment i find im shutting myself away from everyone pushing the people who care away just cant face anybody any more cant face seeing the pity in their eyes and the fact that they find it too difficult to talk about jamie its like they all pretend it never happened. you know when you have a child everyone wants to see the photos of your beautiful baby but when all you have is photos of a dead baby in your arms nobody wants to see them i understand ppl find it hard but how hard do they think it is for me i want to scream at ppl look at my beautiful baby but they dont want to see and it breaks my heart those photos are all i have of proof that he was ever here them plus a cemetary plot and memories in my head
its all driving me mad if i didnt have the girls on here to sound off to now and then id have nobody right now im so greatful to everyone for being there for me you are all such wonderful people xxxxxxxxx

 

[Dee1985]

show of your beautiful boy then rach, hes your lil baby and just because he is no longer here no one should forget about him.

i have a picture of my born sleeping lil sister i have it next to my bed, to be honest kris finds it weird but she is still my baby sister!

and i like to talk about her

tell us about him rach, did he have hair?was he tiny?who did he look like? my mum says my lil sis looked just like me hes your beautiful lil son and we want to here about him, especialy if it makes it easier for you.

 

[Wobbles]

I wanted to say what Dionne has.

An old friend of mine had a sleeping baby & she had a gorgous picture of George taken proessionally before they put him to rest & he's always with her.

She has the picture above her fire place & he's gorgous.

Sending you warm hugs Rach x x

 

[LouisecH]

Just wanted to say the same. Tell us about him!

 

[Layla]

hun, i dont know what to say,

my heart goes out to you.

xxxxx