Does anyone feel like there doing it all alone?

[scaredmum2be]

I have to deal an look after LO as my husband blames his depression an goes into a trance mode so when lil one is sat there crying he wont wana get up he tries to block it all out. Im feeling alone in all this its almost a joke.
Im starting to wonder wether i should go docs an say i feel like im doing it all by myself sometimes its flipping knackering.
OH does usually 1 feed in the night an he can be in bed until midday until he can be bothered to get up.
I get up at 7 an do everything apart from the cooking right up to7 at night an only once on the odd occasion he would stick the dummy in LO's mouth.
Im dreading christmas as no one is allowed to buy Tristan really noises toys he will be 6 months by then so hes bound to intrigued. Hubby says if there noisey he will play his keyboard loud.
I feel down about all this is this wrong??
He can be on his computer all day an ignore me an he'll only get up to either get something to eat/toilet or make a cuppa.
We dont communicate properly anymore as he gets annoyed alot more now. I just want to cry as i can feel an arguement/bicker they can be nearly once a day now an its no good for lil man and i hate it.
Im starting to resent hubby.
Because ive got to try an sort baby out all the time he will say he dont feel like its the 3 of us well excuse me me an lil man dont exactly feel apart of his life when hes head stuck in the computer. an he cant be bothered with lil man whats he guna expect a round of applause??!!
we never properly go out he will sit an watch tv with me for the things he wants to watch at meal time an then after hes eaten hes back on the computer.
He says i have to deal with his depression an i say its hard when all i can think of is my childs been dragged to this i could semmi deal with his depresison when i wasnt pregnant but i broke down alot when i was pregnant and silly me thought it would change when i had had baby. he does a great job when he actually notices us. but he says because im here he doesnt feel the need to go to LO, sometimes he wont communicate with lil man u no the hello to make him happy.
When i wake in the morning the only thing that seems to make keep going is my lil boy looking in his eyes an smiling me an saying good morning.
So everyday im in a good mood but when hubby is as mardy as f**k and is making me miserable yeah i sometimes feel like i should go but then somedays i think to myself maybe this can work an when we do get on we can get on but now its like nothing. but if i leave he will blackmail me like saying he wont need to live now EVEN THOUGH HIS KID SHOULD BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN HIS LIFE it really does upset me.
sorry its long i dont even know what to think.
When i think ill try an av a talk with him he ends up putting into a friggin arguement so my trying is pointless.
I know he has depression but i had to pull myself up from a lot of crap before i got pregnant ive had to deal with it fast because of my boy i had no choice he doesnt choose to be the same.
xx

 

[flexilexi394]

hey honey
it sounds like you arent having a very good time of it at the moment, and im really sorry to hear it! i know he is suffering with depression, but that doesnt mean hes incapable of considering your feelings or your childs at that!
Its difficult to try and talk as it turns out in arugments, and that must make it really hard on you and your little one.
Its also hard to offer advice as the logical thing would be to talk to him, but thats proving difficult. i can only offer support, and maybe talk to a gp or something? they do hear of this sort of situation all the time, and maybe they can offer some support or advice. xx

 

[scaredmum2be]

Do you think my GP will help me deal with hsi depression in some way or does that prove that i have to have counselling aswell or something because im find it difficult more and more each day.
Most the time havign the put up n shut up.
he only goes therapy only once every so often until the proper therapy starts an he still on waiting list i dont think he wants to be the way he is an he knows an understands that makes it hard for me but he said that makes him feel worse because of the way i feel :S
so i dunno lolx

 

[Toonlass]

I suffer from depression, I have done for over a decade but I still take care of my children and look after my OH's interests every day all day. I also have a few other 'labels' along side depression so I know what I am talking about when I say that your hubby really needs to give himself a kick up the backside!! You can only blame so much on his condition but I feel he is being selfish tbh. He has the motivation to sit on a computer so he should damn well have the motivation to appreciate and look after his family. There are days when I just want to run away, have a break, and ignore my responsabilities but tough shit, I have a family and they come first. Sorry to be so blunt but you really shouldn't be dealing with his behaviour xx

 

[MrsR]

Aw honey big hugs x I agree with Toon, you can blame depression only so far, it sounds more like he's making excuses than anything else x I think you do need to talk to someone otherwise you're just going to break down!

How dare he say what toys your son can and can't have! He's holding him back! That's made me more angry than anything!

Hope you can get some help hon!

 

[inky]

I'm with Toon, he needs a good kick up the arse. Admittedly I don't have any experience with depression but I do know that it's not an excuse to treat you and LO like that, he just sounds lazy to me, and doesn't show any signs of wanting to help himself.

Does he work? Is he getting any treatment for his depression? Does he even want to get anything sorted at all?

There's only so far you can help him with this, he needs to want to change himself. You have to put yourself and LO first at the end of the day. You shouldn't feel bad about how you feel, it's no surprise that you're feeling bad - you have a lot on your plate and no support!!

 

[scaredmum2be]

He said to me he likes to do things on his own ie.. Computer time.
No he doesnt work because he let himself go an said he had a breakdown at work because of depression and basically he isnt fit to work he is on the sick benefit.
He has no ummpph in life mainly its negative because money problems and how many stupid hours he would end up having to work and spending time with the family will be out of the question which he says he wants to spend time with the family and guess what. His head is stuck on that computer although hes stuck dummy in lil mans mouth twice * clap clap*.
He wants to work but hes scared of having another break down like he did an hes on the waiting list for therapy but he does see his therapy every 2 weeks at the moment but thats not helping him .
But hes admitted he would get the same amount be on sick benefit as of working although all u dont have to work like 50 hours a week to make that money he would rather sit on his arse because he sees no point in working because he will have no time at home doing his computer stuff. Because if it was because of family time then he would and i think he will go back to when its really needed to go.
Once apon a time he said to me that he would support me so that i didnt need go to work(this was when he was working) because i was struggling to get into work so i thought well partners do that anyways but i so wish he hadnt try to support us because id be in a job having my own dignity!!. I didnt think i would have to be supported by the government an his excuse with the governement is that hes claiming his tax back of all the time hes actually work i mean im sure men would like to work but no hubby feels like a slave.

were not really talking to eachother properly at the moment hes just on the computer i thought id nip on whilst ive got this chance. I must ask for to much now days .
He looks at life as realisticly. When i wake in the mornign an see my boys face he makes me wana live an think we can concour the world an then hubby turns round an says u cant concour the world it was as a saying on how i seen on life. Pft we talked lastnight somehow dont ask me how it was abit heated then it died down an it got to where there were 2 decisions i had to decide wether i should put up with the way he is an shut up or we split up i was that tired to even bothered in the end lastnight 2am i went sleep :O.

Im starting to think why do i bother with him hes making no effort.
he moans that i dont give him sex well if i dont feel like he can be bothered why should i bother??
he said it goes both ways i give him sex an he will help more etcccccc....... ???? wtf Am i really hearing this.
Shouldnt he help me anyways because hes a dad, i never feel in the mood because he never tries to make me happy in the slightest.
but i know he would rather do his own thing.
He was single for 6 years before he met me but when we got together i realised he was a computer addict but i thought he had me for him to keep him company so he wouldnt need to spend all that time on the computer.
when he used to get in from work he would meet me an the whole night he would be in computer before going bed an he still wanted sex i was thinking you dont even make me feel like im worth it only when your not on the computer.

My mum an sister noticed something has been up with me for the last few days i cant speak to anyone as all they do is gossip and i cant be bothered with people like that. x