Does anybody else feel like this?? :(

[Valley Girl]

Toby is going to be one next month

I am trying really hard at the moment to do all the christmas shopping online, look after my older two before and after school, make jewellery, sell jewellery, build my website, washing, cleaning, etc (although not nearly as much as I should be doing, my house is a pig sty!)

BUT I feel such a totally bad mother

I always seem to be trying to keep Toby happy so I can get on, lunch time comes round so quick and I dash out to the kitchen and wonder what I can make him quickly. He's such a happy little boy, and is content to play around on the floor while I get on and cuddle him and chat to him every now and then. But aren't I supposed to be doing things for Toby, like duck feeding and singing nursery rhymes while bouncing him on my lap?

I just feel like I never have the time to give him all the attention I should. I love him so much, and I'm so proud of him.

Please tell me I'm not alone. If no one posts back I'll know you're all thinking I'm damn useless!!!

 

[samharris]

First of all, of course u aren't alone.

i have a 3 year old son and although he is in nursery for 3 hours a day i still don't find time to do all the things i need to do, i get up in the morning and by the time we've all had breakfast washed dressed its time to take ethan to nursery for 12.45 by the time i come home i just about get chance to have a cup of tea and my lunch before i'm back out the door picking him up at 3.15. I find the days just go so quick that there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything.

 

[Redshoes]

It seems to be that if you don't do anything but sit 24/7 with your baby/child you're not being there for them, its total rubbish!! If your LO needs you are you there for them? If the answer is yes then stop worrying, babies and children are quite happy to spend time alone, and life is such that we have to cook, eat, clean, tidy etc and you have 3 children so that's 3fold, so don't feel bad, go easy on yourself. Ophelia's currently laid at the side of me talking to a cow print pillow, I don't feel bad because I'm on here and not playing with her, I keep looking at her and we're sharing smiles, she knows I love her and I'm here for her, yet we can also have our own space and do our own thing. I don't know if that'll make sense or ease your worry but also remember some housework can wait if you feel you want more time with your LO, things have to be done, that's life, but if you feel upset, let that housework wait another half hour, do what you feel happy with within the the capabilities of being a mum of 3. Very best wishes

 

[Hazel]

I had this horrible sense of guilt for the first few months as I felt I wasn't spending enough time sitting and cuddling/playing during the day. We put our house on the market when she was 2 weeks old so I was very busy trying to keep up with the housework etc ready for viewings and trying to show people around the house. It then dawned on me the reason we were moving was so we could move to a better area with better schools etc so everything I was doing was for her anyway so I shouldn't feel guilty.

You're working to put food on the table so you shouldn't feel bad about doing that.

 

[clarey]

Dont feel bad, it sounds like you have a lot to juggle, I feel that way some weeks and I only have one LO! Weeks when I have work to do no housework gets done at all till the weekend when OH is here to help, except maybe a bit of laundry, I hate the mess but I just work when Eva is napping or playing happily and spend the rest of the day feeding/changing/playing with her.
We have one day a week when we go to a sensory class and swimming, thats Evas day and I dont let anything get in the way of that, it eases my guilt if we have had a busy week