Do the worries ever ease?

[buddabun]

This is BFP #3 now. in 4 months. We are as positive as possible as I have a nice glowy feeling about this one but frankly, 'feelings' don't mean anything. I am still worried at every little twinge and, more importantly, the lack of any little twinge. Before my sickness and backache come back in the morning I worry that I'm going to lose this bean as well.

Do you have any mantras that help you feel positive? I know it's probably only natural to worry and I am booked into Gynae for Monday to hopefully have bloods and book an early scan but still, now I am worried about the results of those

I know it's silly and I can't go the whole 9 months like this but right now I would feel blessed to get to 5 weeks...

 

[Jaded Diamond]

I felt & still feel the same at the moment hun.
From the second i got that line on the test i was convinced we wouldn't make it to 6 weeks (we've never had a baby get past 6 weeks) And we were counting the seconds to 6 weeks. Then it was prayers to get us to the early scan, and prayers and tears that there would be a heartbeat.
Although no one irl really knows a couple of my xbox friends have known since the beginning and in our own ways we're all praying or having a word with the man upstairs.
I have no idea how we've *touchwood* gotten this far. The only difference between this time and the previous times is that i've been taking baby asprin (75mg) which can help thin the blood a smidge to make it easier for the placenta or something along those lines.
I don't have any mantras or anything, and i cry a lot when i get paranoid about things going wrong, but that fear is natural and if i didn't let it out it'd just build up and i'd explode or something lol. I have found myself singing "fernando" to the baby when i get scared, its earned the bean the nickname fernando, and i doubt it helps but it seems to be a subconsious thing for some bizarre reason.
I doubt that really helps, but day by day hopefully the worries will go xxx

 

[larisa]

omg congrats!!! so happy 4 u hun!!!
u will feel like this 4 bit but its only normal after miscarriage ..iv only jst stopped checking the loo roll everytime i go toilet and it helps now tht i can feel him moving alot ..i think jst to take 1 day at a time and u will be fine u dont ewant to send ur self bonkers do u hehe xx

 

[larisa]

I felt & still feel the same at the moment hun.
From the second i got that line on the test i was convinced we wouldn't make it to 6 weeks (we've never had a baby get past 6 weeks) And we were counting the seconds to 6 weeks. Then it was prayers to get us to the early scan, and prayers and tears that there would be a heartbeat.
Although no one irl really knows a couple of my xbox friends have known since the beginning and in our own ways we're all praying or having a word with the man upstairs.
I have no idea how we've *touchwood* gotten this far. The only difference between this time and the previous times is that i've been taking baby asprin (75mg) which can help thin the blood a smidge to make it easier for the placenta or something along those lines.
I don't have any mantras or anything, and i cry a lot when i get paranoid about things going wrong, but that fear is natural and if i didn't let it out it'd just build up and i'd explode or something lol. I have found myself singing "fernando" to the baby when i get scared, its earned the bean the nickname fernando, and i doubt it helps but it seems to be a subconsious thing for some bizarre reason.
I doubt that really helps, but day by day hopefully the worries will go xxx

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

I don't know if it gets any better. I had a miscarriage the year before last, and every moment of this feels unbelievable. I don't believe the pregnancy tests, and just feel not pregnant I am hoping to feel different once I have a scan.

So I don't know if it gets better but I hope we can support you by chatting on the forum.

And Jaded Diamond - we will play online one day i have just lost my headset!

 

[buddabun]

I now have "Fernando" in my head

Well I am at the point where I lost the last one. Tomorrow will mark 5 weeks. *deep breaths*

It's funny because in some ways this one feels different, like I'm assuming it'll go to term, whereas with the last one it was like "yep, I'm pregnant again. I wonder how far we'll get this time". But on the other hand I am just so worried that I'm building myself up for a fall by thinking ahead to being huge, giving birth and having and actual baby to hold. It seems abstract and surreal!

I have a scan 5th Feb when I'll be 7 weeks and I keep thinking to myself "SEVEN WEEKS! That's almost full term" Ridiculous I know but I can NEVER imagine myself being that pregnant. I hope I get to 7 weeks. And 8 and 9 and 40 but it just seems bizarre. Looking through the book I have the second and third trimesters just seem so far along and I'm frustrated that there isn't more on 4 and 5 weeks

I try not to worry but it's so hard when you think you're bleeding only to find some delightful discharge instead. The only thing I'm doing differently this time is I've stopped drinking my usual swimming pools of pineapple juice as I've heard it can stimulate contractions (people use it to try and initiate labour). FINGERS CROSSED I will actually get a living, breathing (screaming, pooping) baby out of this.

Huge hugs for all you ladies who have lost. Even though both of ours were very early it still hurts every time I see them in my sig...

 

[Becky]

Before my pregnancy with Calum I had a missed miscarriage, we found out at our 12 week scan that baby had stopped growing at about 7 weeks, naturally we were devastated. When we found out we were pregnant again although we were really happy it took till about 16 weeks till I felt I was able to relax even just a little bit. It didn't feel real and I kept waiting for something to go wrong.

Unfortunately I don't think the worry ever goes completely but it does ease over time and you do start to enjoy being pregnant.

Hope all goes well for you!

 

[jsykes1975]

Hi,

So pleased with your news!

There's always positives like you're already further than before-yeah!

Regardless of loss, I think everyone has concerns until their 12 week scan because of the statistics re: a first trimester loss. I suppose you can only try and occupy yourself with as much other stuff as you can and take a week at a time. An early scan gives you a target for now, then only a few weeks til the next one when the chance of miscarriage will drop to 5%.

In saying that, I'm not the best advert for that theory as I lost a baby at 18 weeks. However, having a doppler listen to the heartbeat from about 14 weeks was a godsend. getting to 19 weeks was a big hurdle for me.

I just had a gender scan last Friday(team pink!!) and can honestly say it's only now I'm allowing myself to be excited. Before then, my pregnancuy was just something to get through.

Hopefully, you'll realise the time when you can allow yourself to relax and enjoy it for what it is.

Best wishes and contiinued health for your pregnancy,

Julie xxxxx

Emma Mary 18 wk miscarriage 02.05.08 Always Missed

 

[buddabun]

How exciting - a girl Congratulations!

Well I have hit the 5w point. And I feel relieved but now I'm wondering when this one will go wrong. I started off with such positive intentions to stay happy and hopeful and I'm just blue today. I have a friend (who doesn't know) coming round for coffee later so I'll have to hide all my pregnancy books etc etc and pretend like I don't feel like crap but it's better than dwelling on things.

How are you all coping?

 

[jsykes1975]

There's no easy solution for the first few weeks hun!

But feeling your baby move is the best proof of all that he/she is well.

Hopefully you'll look back and wonder where the time went.

Will keep a close eye on you,

Julie xxxx

Emma Mary 18wk miscarriage 02.05.08 Always missed

 

[buddabun]

Thanks Julie. I am going to try and keep busier. I am shattered but if I get out of the house at least once a day then I'm not sitting here thinking about pregnancy. I actually forget sometimes!!!