Do I Have A Valid Point?!

[Sandie]

I am due on the 9th of April, my first baby. My sister in law (DHs sister) is due on the 11th of April with her 3rd LO.

SIL has organised a holiday through "The Sun" you know the £9.50 holidays... I was quite up for it, thinking it'd be around June/July.. i got all the paperwork through the other day and it is booked for the 4TH OF MAY to the 8th.
It's through Haven Holidays and we're going to Craigtara, Ayr, staying in a static caravan.

When i told DH i really don't want to go then he said tough - it's booked we're going .

It's okay for his sister - she's been there done that bought the tshirt twice before, this is my first and i am terrified. I want my Mum around me.

But what has really pissed me off even more is that DH has said "Don't think i'll take 2 weeks paternity leave when LO arrives" Can't really afford it..... But he can afford to take a weeks UNPAID holiday to go on a stupid holiday

Now all i'm worrying about now is this bloody holiday. My Mum isn't very happy about it but feels it's not her place to tell DH (which i understand), but he won't listen to me.

If i go 2 weeks over my due date LO is only going to be like 3 weeks max.

What the hell do i do!?

 

[Jade&Evie]

I'd go.

After 3 weeks you will be absolutely sick of everyone giving you advice and being in your way and you will want to get away. You will still be in the country so you'll be able to get everything you'll need and it'll be a nice break.

Don't worry- being a mum is a natural thing- you learn really quick and it's on the job training

 

[GBLiz]

I disagree . i think its a terrible idea! What was she thinking? You'll likely be in no state to be enjoying a holiday, trying to get a routine sorted for your little one, stressed out, in need of all home comforts!

Tell him forget it ! Give him £9.50 if he's that mean about money!

As for not taking paternity.....sorry but he sounds SELFISH and completely inconsiderate

does he have any idea how traumatic it is having a baby??? its a BIG DEAL!

if he wont listen, seriously, stay home with your mum and let him go

 

[Sandie]

I'd go.

After 3 weeks you will be absolutely sick of everyone giving you advice and being in your way and you will want to get away.

This is DHs reason for going away - so we can get a chance to be a family.... BUT we're gonna be with SIL, her man, her 2 kids and her baby.. (Her older kids are wild and i have no patience for them...)

 

[Jade&Evie]

Surely they will be out and about in the day with the kids? Are you staying in the same caravan?

Tell him you want a compromise- you have a separate car so you aren't tied to their plans for example

 

[Sandie]

There are 2 caravans so me & DH have our own one (If it was one caravan then the sh*t would hit the fan!!!)

Just so worred about being so far from my Mum (Sad i know....) but she's like a rock to me..

 

[nori]

Hiya hun,

There is absolutely no way in the world i would go. I found the first few weeks really tough (my first too) and was still recovering from an emergency c-section. Everyone is different but the last thing i would want to do is be away from home and away from my family.

I personally think your OH is being a selfish git (sorry) If you dont want to go then dont! Having a baby is a massive thing. I'm almost 12 weeks on and its only now that i would consider going away.

Maybe i found it tougher than some other first time mummys but thought id give you my opinion as to what i would do.

Claire x

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

I would say see how you feel nearer the time, but I was more worried about the paternity leave thing! Is he really that worried about money if he is taking time off earlier? My hubby is saving every scrap of holiday + taking the paternity leave as well, without asking. But if he hadn't I'd have something to say...

 

[NickyB]

Ohhhh no, I'd have hated that!

For one point, breastfeeding, if I'd have been away with someone for two weeks in the first few weeks, while you're weepy, it hurts, they don't sleep yet etc it'd have been a complete nightmare.

 

[lfc_sarah]

Id see nearer the time hun, how you feel and how the baby is settling in ect

And if you dont feel up to it, just dont go!

Your OH seems a bit selfish, spending 2 weeks after the birth of his child is way more important than a holiday

Ps. I hate The Sun

xxxx

 

[Urchin]

Hmm it's a tough one...as it's your first I can totally see why you don't want to go. TBH I wouldn't want to go either.
Not just while you're there but the packing and the laundry and all the extra crap. Caravans are small, if the weather are bad and you're stuck in you'll want home comforts and stuff.

Hmmmm if it were me... I'd tell my OH I ain't going.

 

[muppetmummy]

I wouldn't have wanted to go away when Logan was approx a month old, and he's my second!

I think you OH is being really selfish, tell him he can go on his own if it means that much to him. I think your SILs mad too!

 

[Hazel]

We were invited to a friends engagement party 5 weeks after Connie's edd. It was a 4 hour drive and a 4 night overnight stay so had planned not to go but she was a week early and I had a very easy labour from which I recovered quick and luckily a baby that slept at night only waking once so I felt fine to travel with a 6 week old baby and it was nice to be able to get out for walks and take her swimming on the caravan site. I was very lucky though.

Beforehand I was saying there was no way I was going but when it came to it I was fine and we had a great time and by then we were in a routine with bottle etc.

I really would wait and see how you feel when the time comes. If you don't go £9.50 isn't much money to lose.

I think your OH's attitude will probably change when baby is here and he will want the paternity leave. It's different for men and they need to see the baby for it to be real. As much as my DH loved seeing the kicks it wasn't until Connie was here that it really sunk in for him.

 

[*pud01*]

I'd have a serious word with your OH, and explain your feelings to him in a way that he listens (if they ever do ) If you're not comfortable with it dont go simple as... sounds simplar than it actually is but if you really dont want to go then don't.
Id also have a word with him about the unpaid hols for a caravan trip that he's prepared to go on VS the bonding time with his newborn baby ... the two dont compete.

Id see nearer the time hun, how you feel and how the baby is settling in ect

And if you dont feel up to it, just dont go!

Your OH seems a bit selfish, spending 2 weeks after the birth of his child is way more important than a holiday

Ps. I hate The Sun

xxxx

me too sarah

 

[Sandi4Paul]

I agree with waiting closer to the time, you might have your aby a few weeks early and take to it like a duck to water. Or it could be late, cesearian and have PND (I hope not though), its not really possible to predict in advance.

Sandi

 

[shesmurf]

I feel for you. That sounds like hell to me. Sorry but you'll still be adjusting and totally knackered. Two small kids and two babies in a static caravan sounds madness. Depending how labour goes you might still be sore or need treatment.
We're going up the west coast to a static caravan weith OHs huge family for a week when bump is 3months (assuming it arrives as planned on Sunday) and I'm worried about how that will work! We won't be popular if it's a wakeful baby with his family or the rest of the campsite! On the plus side though, ecause there is a whole clan of them I know everyone will want to take turns which will give me a bit of a break where as your in-laws will have their hands full already.
i really hope he sees sense, men are a bit thick sometimes!

 

[Quill]

Totally unfair of anybody to pressure you to go on a holiday at that point in your life.

I know some women bounce back after childbirth, but it took me over a month to feel remotely normal again. I bled a lot, and had trouble establishing breastfeeding (cracked it, and got much easier at the 4 week mark, but it was HARD in those early days).

I also had a second degree tear and sitting up was uncomfortable for about a month and a half, so if it's a long drive away, bear that in mind.

I wouldn't go if it was me. Personally I'm still bitter toward my in-laws (MIL really) for all the pressure put on me after I had my son. Despite the midwives putting me on virtual bedrest after the birth, the MIL kept pressuring us to go visit them. I made a thread about it further down in this forum... the end result is that I don't trust my MIL anymore and I feel like I was just a means to an end - getting a grandchild.

I would love to go back in time and be more assertive towards her, because it's affected our relationship, and, in a small way, the relationship between me and my DH.

So, if you do wind up going, make sure it's what YOU want! Not because you're pressured into it!

p.s. Our first vacation was when the baby was about 3.5 months old, that was the first time either of us felt comfortable going away from home. And it was hard work!

 

[xmcnickyx]

We were invited to a friends engagement party 5 weeks after Connie's edd. It was a 4 hour drive and a 4 night overnight stay so had planned not to go but she was a week early and I had a very easy labour from which I recovered quick and luckily a baby that slept at night only waking once so I felt fine to travel with a 6 week old baby and it was nice to be able to get out for walks and take her swimming on the caravan site. I was very lucky though.

Beforehand I was saying there was no way I was going but when it came to it I was fine and we had a great time and by then we were in a routine with bottle etc.

I really would wait and see how you feel when the time comes. If you don't go £9.50 isn't much money to lose.

I think your OH's attitude will probably change when baby is here and he will want the paternity leave. It's different for men and they need to see the baby for it to be real. As much as my DH loved seeing the kicks it wasn't until Connie was here that it really sunk in for him.

This is pretty much what I was going to say.

I found travelling with Molly really easy when she was really young. A few days after I had her we made plans for christmas eve (5 weeks away) to go and do a crazy tour of the in-laws. I felt OK so did and it was fine. It was tiring but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

I also think your OH's attitude might change when he gets to see how it is with a baby. While I was pregnant my husband was having all these crazy ideas about what we'd do an when and all I kept saying was 'We'll see' cos I knew the baby would be more of a shock to him than me

Although saying all that...if you really really don't want to go then don't, it is a big ask for someone to contemplate a holiday with a baby that young.

 

[CoreysMummy]

Id go along, after 3-4-5 weeks etc I was going OUT of my brain stuck at home because of my emergency secion I couldnt drive (well I could, perfectly well, but was not aloud to for insurance reasons).

its upto you, id see how you feel when LO is here... with my next I woudnt hesetate, BUT i am more confident, I know what id need and what to expect! With your 1st its all so new.

(I say I wudnt hesetate etc etc, I would NEVER go on a 9.50 holiday to a caravan - just me, but I wudnt!)

 

[nutcase109]

I think your SiL might be a bit jealous, of the attention you will be getting as its your first etc... Thats why she prob booked holiday so early. First baby is SO special and SO nerve-wracking, she may be feeling a bit jealous of that.