Dad At 13yrs! Pg 4 link 2 parents to triplets at 17!

[Serendipity_]

That triplets story, just read a bit of it.

Now she and her boyfriend of a year — Callum Thomas, 18 — have decided against medical advice that Sian should not try to give birth to all three babies.

Regardless of her age, whether she's on benefits or not, who do these people think they are, "advising" someone not to give birth to all 3 babies... Basically, advising her to have an abortion.

 

[emmarushuk]

I'm 20 (I will be 21 when the baby is born) and both me on my OH scrape (yes, scrape) by on benefits.................... We don't live in a council house though, my OH's father is letting us live at a property of his rent free until we get ourselves sorted (you know, jobs are hard to come by, with 100 people applying for the same job you are ) when we'll go in to private renting again........

I dread to think what you think of me, a baby on the way too

I take my hat off to you. Unfortunatley there are people in this country however who would rather not even make the effort you and your OH are to find work and its that that leaves a sour taste in peoples mouths. I wish you both the best of luck

 

[Serendipity_]

I take my hat off to you. Unfortunatley there are people in this country however who would rather not even make the effort you and your OH are to find work and its that that leaves a sour taste in peoples mouths. I wish you both the best of luck

Thanks

 

[Rock-Angel]

I'm 20 (I will be 21 when the baby is born) and both me on my OH scrape (yes, scrape) by on benefits.................... We don't live in a council house though, my OH's father is letting us live at a property of his rent free until we get ourselves sorted (you know, jobs are hard to come by, with 100 people applying for the same job you are ) when we'll go in to private renting again........

I dread to think what you think of me, a baby on the way too

I think if we all had our way we would love our OHs to always be home with us, but they cant cause they are out wrking and paying to put food on our tables so why shoudl these 2 be any different!!

Oh please dont get me wrong, Im not judging everyne, but its a few that set a bad example for those of you that clearly do make any effort!
Its like if smeone said 99 nice things about you and 1 bad 1 the bad one would stick with people,
Likewise 99 great young mums who are making an effort to do all they can, yet the one bad cookie like these in the article are the ones that will stick in your mind, the ones that give you a bad name!
In my part you quote, I dont mean both parents should go out! I meant he could at least try to find something rather then sit there and say he cant be bothered, I knw what being on jsa is like and Im sure the job centre will make him start looking for wrk ok he may not get anywere but he could at least try thats what Im trying to say but sh*t at wording things, sorry didnt mean to offend you!!

 

[zebrastripes]

Not relevant

 

[Manda&Thomas]

this was on another forum and it really kicked off!! teenage mums Vs people with honest opinions!!

yes this one lad sets a bad example, but it doesnt mean to say all teenage mums are bad!! Well Untill you meet this lt..

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... 224410.ece

Knowing the job centre, he wont be allowed to sit on his arse for long, thank god, CHAVs spring to mind, and not the nice type who want to make an efffort like we have on here!

I think if we all had our way we would love our OHs to always be home with us, but they cant cause they are out wrking and paying to put food on our tables so why shoudl these 2 be any different!!

I actually know these people, My friends brother is the dad to her little boy.
I dont think its right people are saying she should abort 1 or two of the babies its not asif she planned on having triplets unlike the mother of the 8 babies!!!!
xx

 

[Lou]

ZS I would never have known your age just going by your posts and I think you're a great mum. Age isn't always the problem, its the individual and their capabilities. You are obviously very capable and mature!

 

[zebrastripes]

not relevant

 

[Lou]

ZS I would never have known your age just going by your posts and I think you're a great mum. Age isn't always the problem, its the individual and their capabilities. You are obviously very capable and mature!

Very true (not only the bit about me being fab ) the thing is, I wasn't necessarily born capable. I'm priveleged to have been brought up with loving parents, books,ponies, a house in the country, plenty of love and encouragement. I go to a good school, I've been taught the importance of education and I have been taught self-worth. My first proper boyfriend was, susequently, a boy who shared my interests, was generally intelligent and decent.

Ergo, when i get pregnant, I cope,support continues, boyfriend sticks around, I carry on with school, make informed parenting choices etc.

It's just a question of how lucky you are

Not all down to luck, give yourself some credit!

 

[zebrastripes]

ZS I would never have known your age just going by your posts and I think you're a great mum. Age isn't always the problem, its the individual and their capabilities. You are obviously very capable and mature!

Very true (not only the bit about me being fab ) the thing is, I wasn't necessarily born capable. I'm priveleged to have been brought up with loving parents, books,ponies, a house in the country, plenty of love and encouragement. I go to a good school, I've been taught the importance of education and I have been taught self-worth. My first proper boyfriend was, susequently, a boy who shared my interests, was generally intelligent and decent.

Ergo, when i get pregnant, I cope,support continues, boyfriend sticks around, I carry on with school, make informed parenting choices etc.

It's just a question of how lucky you are

Not all down to luck, give yourself some credit!

Well of course it was half my genes that actually went towards the beautiful child, you can't beat that

 

[lea m]

That is true ZS but also, I was brought up in a sh*tty estate full of druggies and criminals, my parents divorced when I was 3, my school was rubbish, I left there not even knowing what I was doing with my life!
Thankfully I had (albeit a broken one) a loving, happy, supportive family!
I got pregnant at 16, and gave birth at 17! My children know whats is right and wrong etc and I highly doubt they will be coming home at 13 whilst playing on their xbox "oh yeh mam my girlfriends pregnant" kwim!?!

You can work at changing the cycle and these girls can do the same!

 

[Slinky Sarah]

the girl who is pregnant at 17 with triplets...doesnt it say she has been advised to so they dont all die as 2 are sharing a placenta? kinda trying to keep the other one alive...

 

[zebrastripes]

Tbh I have come across a few more bits and pieces on this tonight,and have reached the conclusion that I care more about the girls,some as young as 9, getting pregnant through rape in war torn areas,such as Darfur. Not to mention the girls in areas such as Somalia who are killed for being raped/pregnant. "Adultery" apparently.

if you look at some of these girl's stories, it puts the 13 year old dad, who produced a child in the third richest country in the world, into perspective somehow.

But whatever. The Somalian girls aren't ever going to make the headlines are they.

 

[trixipaws]

whats wrong with her- having sex with him? she looks at least her age he looks miles younger than his age. what was she thinking! and how can he even perform??????????? doesnt look- erm, "ready" yet!!! bless them

 

[chickadee1976]

ZS I would never have known your age just going by your posts and I think you're a great mum. Age isn't always the problem, its the individual and their capabilities. You are obviously very capable and mature!

Very true (not only the bit about me being fab ) the thing is, I wasn't necessarily born capable. I'm priveleged to have been brought up with loving parents, books,ponies, a house in the country, plenty of love and encouragement. I go to a good school, I've been taught the importance of education and I have been taught self-worth. My first proper boyfriend was, susequently, a boy who shared my interests, was generally intelligent and decent.

Ergo, when i get pregnant, I cope,support continues, boyfriend sticks around, I carry on with school, make informed parenting choices etc.

It's just a question of how lucky you are

But does having a "priveleged background" (sp) mean that you are more informed or " better" at parenting than someone who has not had a more fortunate backgound.

ps i love u zs just asking x

 

[zebrastripes]

.....

 

[elysoun]

13 is far too young- Imagine if the trend continues he'll be a grandparent before he's 30!!

There is definitely a 'benefit' culture- not saying that everyone on benefits is a scummy git (as some do!), but there are some whose only aspirations in life are to have babies to get a council house and stay at home 'on the dole'.

For example, I have 2 cousins the same age (born within a month of each other) from different mothers.
One, due to extreme ill health of my grandmother, was adopted out. The other, several years younger stayed at home where my grandmother claimed my grandfather had left her so she could have the mortgage paid on the house.

My younger aunt decided when all her friends were getting pregnant she wanted a baby. And deliberately got herself pregnant by a married man (at 16).
My other aunt (14 years older) first went to university, got her degree, well paid job etc.
before having her family.

The daughter of my older aunt is pleasant and well spoken, and is going to university in manchester next year, and her brother is already at st. Andrews.
The daughter of the younger aunt, at 15 announced she was pregnant. She actually asked me my opinion on not naming the father so she could claim benefits and get full whack from him.
She had a private tutor at home and still failed her GCSE's. And guess what? Now she's in a council house living on benfits at 17.

Upbringing plays a huge part in the cycle- if you really want to break it you can, but most just don't want to. Free flat/house, stay at home and get paid for it-all you have to do is have a baby. For some its like the 'British dream'.

 

[mummykay]

Over my dead body would Jam end up a young parent like me, it is NOT what I want for him cos its not feckin ideal at all

Thing is, its all down to the girls family what happens to the baby isnt it - shes the one carryin it

So if I said 'no I dnt want Jamie bein a dad now' it would mean fuck all cos she could go ahead and have it anyway then Jamie would be payin for it forever?!

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah im keepin him locked up til iv found a suitable girl for him to marry

 

[charlotte_]

yes this one lad sets a bad example, but it doesnt mean to say all teenage mums are bad!!

i don't think he sets a bad example. i think he's young enough to not really understand what he's done. i sort of don't blame him.

 

[lauramumof2]

[quote="Rock-Angel"h4lphzd]
yes this one lad sets a bad example, but it doesnt mean to say all teenage mums are bad!!

i don't think he sets a bad example. i think he's young enough to not really understand what he's done. i sort of don't blame him.[/quoteh4lphzd]

I agree, they were able to perform the function but I think they are way to young to understand the hugeness of whats just happened.