Curious...

[HeppiBean]

aww that is such a shame about your anxiety attacks and not being able to be left on your own etc, are you getting any sort of help for them? hopefully you will get your homebirth instead. defo speak to your midwife about it all anyway, might help you in the long run with everything .

Well I gotta go for a brain scan to see what's going on in my head when I black out... Dr said they'll put me in "stressful situations" and see what happens... Other than that I'm going to bring it up at my psychiatric assessment xx

 

[Miss]

I am really surprised they have not put you under consultant care due to having other health issues - I was automatically put under consultant due to mental health problems in the past and had to work damn hard for them to discharge me back to midwife lead care as the thought of a birth being monitored really freaks me out!

Xx

 

[HeppiBean]

I am under a consultant cause I was born with a minor heart defect, I also had an appointment with a mental health midwife who was useless hence swapped to the mental health team. But I only see my consultant every 6 weeks, first appointment to book fetal cardiac scan, second appointment to book heart echo for moi and next appointment to discuss results x

 

[Miss]

Wow hun you do not have it easy do you!

Will they let you have a home birth under consultant care? I know they won't here - can't even have a water birth here under consultant care lol

I really do hope you get to talk to someone about your anxiety and staying in hospital - my son had to be taken into hospital about 6 years ago and was in there for a week I suffered with anxiety, panic attacks at the time and could not face people I knew let alone strangers and nurses etc but there was no way I could have left him in there on his own. The staff were brill with him and me so I would think they could do something for you.

Fingers crossed sweety - let us know how you get on xx

 

[HeppiBean]

Will they let you have a home birth under consultant care? I know they won't here - can't even have a water birth here under consultant care lol

They're not allowed to decline you the birth you want, can only "advise" you against it. But as it's for something as minor as a hole in the heart which healed up of it's own accord when I was 3 and hasn't bothered me since... I doubt it would get in the way anyway.

I really do hope you get to talk to someone about your anxiety and staying in hospital - my son had to be taken into hospital about 6 years ago and was in there for a week I suffered with anxiety, panic attacks at the time and could not face people I knew let alone strangers and nurses etc but there was no way I could have left him in there on his own. The staff were brill with him and me so I would think they could do something for you.

And did they let your OH stay with you in hosp or were they just supportive whilst you were there? I hope they can do something to help if I don't manage to have a home birth. But fingers crossed I will. xx

 

[littlemiss83]

Hopefully you can get some info soon on the home birth, you dont have all that much time and theres still loads to sort out.

They probs will advise you against it, as its your first pregnancy and they dont know how it will go. Also you will have to think about pain-releif as you wont be able to get anything at home (not the same as in the hospital anyway)

If they think baby would be better off being born in hospital then they'll tell you, they will know the risks ect. I've heard of people planning a home birth then when it gets to a certain stage of labour, they need professional help and have to go into hospital anyway, so its probably best to prepare yourself for a hospital visit, even if they agree to home birth as at least that way it wont be too much of a shock. Midwifes can only do so much with regards labour, if the mw requires doc's advice you'd probs need to go in.

You should be able to discuss these things anyway, and hopefully put your mind at rest.

 

[Miss]

They can block you from having the birth you want if it is a danger to you or the baby hun!

They let him stay a couple of nights but the nights he was not there they kept a proper eye on me and made sure I was ok - looking back on it now it must have been like having 2 patients for them lol

Are you seeing someone who deals with pregnant woman and mental health? Not the midwife I mean a proper specialist? They would be the ones to push for what would keep you most stable.

As littlemiss has pointed out above a lot of women who chose homebirth have to go to hospital at some point during the labour for medical reasons - you really need to think about this and have a plan of action or coping strategy for if this happens to you hun. At the end of the day tho when it comes to your babies health you would be surprised what you can do even with your level of anxiety your maternal instinct will kick in and take over.

Wish I could say more to put your mind at ease hun xx

 

[HeppiBean]

From the AIMS (Association for Improvements in Maternity Services) website:

The decision whether or not to have a home birth rests with the mother, and no-one else. The decision is hers alone. Midwives, GPs or obstetricians have no authority to agree or deny anyone a home birth, they are there to ADVISE. Whether or not you accept their advice is entirely up to you. Some women have been told that it is 'illegal' to give birth at home. This is untrue.

From babycentre:
If this applies to you, talk over your hopes for a home birth with your consultant, your midwife or the supervisor of midwives at your hospital. They'll help you weigh up the risks before you make a decision. If the advice remains to come into hospital but you're certain you want a home birth, your choice should be respected.

And I have thought through it... Have done lots of reading up on websites like the above and will be bringing it up with my midwife this week x

 

[Miss]

You have obviously taken offence to something I have said so I apologise - I don't doubt the websites you are quoting. My only concern was your mental health.

Wish you luck with whatever you decide

 

[littlemiss83]

In a certain respect yes everyone does have the right but there are situations or circumstances when authority can be forced, for example women who are drug dependant. I cant think of anything off the top of my head but it would maybe be worth looking into the exceptions to the rule, what you've copied and pasted will be the "general rule" but with complex medical/mental issues the doctors may be able to get a court order or something, i really dont know.

I can see what your getting at though, they shouldn't be allowed to force anything, but remember, the social work dept have been taking children from families for years and this is something that shouldn't be done (in certain situations)

If its something you and your partner are 100% on then just try and keep on fighting it til the end.

 

[HeppiBean]

You have obviously taken offence to something I have said so I apologise - I don't doubt the websites you are quoting. My only concern was your mental health.

Wish you luck with whatever you decide

I didn't mean it to come across as having taken offence, I'm sorry I've just been rather irritable today. I was only trying to say that from what I have read they cannot force you into it.

And littlemiss although I do suffer with my mental health there are many many people out there worse off than I so I cannot think of why they would disagree with me having a home birth as it would actually be better for my MH than a hospital one :/ xx

 

[Miss]

No prob hun I think everyone's hormones run high on here at times.
As I said I really do hope you get the birth you want. Not everything is straight forward if you have or have had past medical probs tho just keep an open mind or at least try to x